Scared of my Bosses driving...how to say no?

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80's_Girl
80's_Girl Posts: 6 Forumite
edited 10 March 2018 at 8:06AM in Employment, jobseeking & training
Recently had to go to a trade fair with the boss, M25, M1. They scared me half to death!!! Driving too fast, too close and changing lanes to sharply, barely missing numerous cars. I had my eyes closed for most of the journey home.

We are supposed to be going to another one in a few weeks time...but I really don't want to have to get in a car with them driving ever again. I felt sick, scared and so glad to get home in one piece.

How should I tell the boss (or anyone else) that I don't want to go with them. I know i'd really hurt their feelings (dent their pride), and make things awkward, but they really are bad.
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  • nicechap
    nicechap Posts: 2,852 Forumite
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    Just tell them what you've said here, hurting their pride is a lot less painful than being cut out of a smashed up car.
    Originally Posted by shortcrust
    "Contact the Ministry of Fairness....If sufficient evidence of unfairness is discovered you’ll get an apology, a permanent contract with backdated benefits, a ‘Let’s Make it Fair!’ tshirt and mug, and those guilty of unfairness will be sent on a Fairness Awareness course."
  • bertiewhite
    bertiewhite Posts: 1,904 Forumite
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    Can you offer to drive instead?
  • AstroTurtle
    AstroTurtle Posts: 290 Forumite
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    Just say you get travel sick if your not driving.
    Save £12k in 2019 -
  • Wyndham
    Wyndham Posts: 2,440 Forumite
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    Has your boss ever had any accidents? It sounds like one is waiting to happen, but I wonder if they have always avoided them (so feel they have nothing to learn) or have had several (so will never learn)?
  • TBagpuss
    TBagpuss Posts: 11,204 Forumite
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    Could you get yourself there?
    If so, suggest that you drive there separately, or that you, rather than your boss, drives.
    If your boss doesn't want you to drive and take them, then you may have to cover your own petrol and parking costs as it isn't necessary to take two cars.
    If you don't want to have to say that you felt unsafe then maybe make it about you, not them - e.g. say you are a nervous passenger or that you found that being a passenger made you feel unwell.

    Is there anyone more senior to your immediate boss that you could speak to, perhaps to ask them to authorise you to be allowed to reclaim your travel costs, and to let them know about the situation.
    All posts are my personal opinion, not formal advice Always get proper, professional advice (particularly about anything legal!)
  • DigForVictory
    DigForVictory Posts: 11,906 Forumite
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    Develop a domestic responsibility that means you have to be free to bale?

    Traditionally it's an aunt, but a pal of mine uses his neighbour's cat as a pretext, for the paperwork.

    It's one of those handy short term excuses - "oh auntie's better now" - that mean you can accept a lift from someone whose driving you trust.
  • LMG1305
    LMG1305 Posts: 179 Forumite
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    Just say you have to visit a friend/family on the way home, so going to drive yourself. From the employers point of view though, you would probably not be able to claim mileage/travel expenses, as you have made the choice to make the journey yourself & presumably the reason the boss wanted you travelling together is to save the company money.
  • newatc
    newatc Posts: 846 Forumite
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    LMG1305 wrote: »
    Just say you have to visit a friend/family on the way home, so going to drive yourself. From the employers point of view though, you would probably not be able to claim mileage/travel expenses, as you have made the choice to make the journey yourself & presumably the reason the boss wanted you travelling together is to save the company money.

    You would need to check your insurance first to ensure you are covered for business use.
  • TELLIT01
    TELLIT01 Posts: 16,489 Forumite
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    edited 9 March 2018 at 1:09PM
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    One other option is to go with him next time and actually throw up in his car. You'll probably find him less keen to take you again after that. :-)

    I had a boss like that once. We were travelling back along the M4 in p***ing rain and he was doing over 80 in the outside lane. The guy sat in the front passenger seat told him to slow down but his response was "Nobody else would be stupid enough to be in the outside lane in these conditions". We all agreed that we wouldn't travel with him again but we had multiple voices, not just one person against the boss.
  • Smodlet
    Smodlet Posts: 6,976 Forumite
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    I had an experience like that once but fortunately, it was a one-off. Some visiting sales rep my project manager friend knew offered us both a lift back from some off site shindig and he drove like a tw*t. I really thought my number was up. Needless to say, he drove a beamer!

    It's your life; you get only one (unless you believe in reincarnation) I would not even bother mentioning travel expenses unless you find others in your place of work share your view. In that case, I would speak to your boss's boss about it but I certainly would never get in his car again.

    Perhaps you could tell him you are reading Nietzsche; that dude is all about survival. :D
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