Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@. Skimlinks & other affiliated links are turned on

Search
  • FIRST POST
    • warren100
    • By warren100 4th Mar 18, 3:26 PM
    • 29Posts
    • 6Thanks
    warren100
    Leaving Job due to anxiety and depression
    • #1
    • 4th Mar 18, 3:26 PM
    Leaving Job due to anxiety and depression 4th Mar 18 at 3:26 PM
    Hi guys,
    Hope everyone is well!
    I need some advise/ reassurance and some work stuff that i am currently going through.
    Basic work history is a have worked in Retail for the past 20 years, in various roles right up to management level. 2 years ago i changed roles within the company i have worked for for 8 years and really looked foward to getting stuck into the new job and using my skills.
    However, for many reasons i have struggled with the role and have found the job seriously stress full. Odd thing is the i have worked in very high pressured roles before and had no issues. My boss is not the best and there is actually only me and her in our department. I have had meetings to explain i find it tough but i just get told that its not going to change so not much can be done.
    Last year, i started to suffer with extreme anxiety and depression. I did a great job of concealing it but it became unbearable to the point where is was crying all the time in and out of work and having panic attacks regularly. I ended up being of work for 3 months as i was signed off by my GP. I was on medication for depression and attending classes to help with the anxiety. Just after returning to work and wanting to get back into it, my mother passed away suddenly. This put me back somewhat, however i was lucky enough that a year earlier i had requested a 6 month sabbatical for a travelling trip which is a perk for long service. It couldn't have come at a better time, so i actually was only in work for 1 week before leaving for my sabbatical.

    So after 6 months of trying to get myself together which i thought i had, my anxiety and panic attacks have returned and i know its the thought of going back to that job.

    Basically, my work is what is making me ill and i cant let myself get how i was 6 months ago. The thought i being there fills my with the most terrible fear that i cant control. Even though it goes against what i would normally do, i am going to have to give my notice in and look for new employment. If i cant find anything before my notice is up, it will be very hard financially but i figure my health is more important. I have a very supportive new wife and we can get through this.

    My concern is around a reference and the sickness/absence tick box on any future reference requests. Even though i have worked for the company for 8 years and had no issues, i guess they will look at my absence from my current role which no doubt will come back as poor.

    When going for interviews, should i be advising them that my sickness/absence record will come back as poor and explain the reasons? The last thing i want is for my illnesses to affect me getting a new job.

    Sorry for the long story and any advise to put my mind at rest will be appreciated.

    Many thanks,

    Warren
Page 1
    • Fireflyaway
    • By Fireflyaway 4th Mar 18, 4:33 PM
    • 1,745 Posts
    • 1,892 Thanks
    Fireflyaway
    • #2
    • 4th Mar 18, 4:33 PM
    • #2
    • 4th Mar 18, 4:33 PM
    Hi Warren I can sympathise with this. I'm struggling at work at the moment due to my line manager and constantly being made to feel inadequate. Never felt like this before an I too am starting to have physical symptoms.
    The way I see it is life has so much to offer, I don't want to be unhappy 8 hours a day and take my unhappiness home.
    You could make your CV so it shows your career break and leave it at that. I've been approached for references many a time and most don't ask about sickness. If anyone asks then tell them, yes you had stress but your mum passed away. That's true. They don't need to know the rest.
    I think once you get a new job under your belt you won't have to worry. Nobody is going to ask about sickness in the job before last.
    I'm in a similar position in that i don't think I will pass probation and I don't want to have to say that!
    Maybe we just need to be creative with the truth. Not lie but not go into too much detail. Its rubbish being unhappy in a job but exciting to know it will end soon! Good luck.
    • warren100
    • By warren100 4th Mar 18, 4:47 PM
    • 29 Posts
    • 6 Thanks
    warren100
    • #3
    • 4th Mar 18, 4:47 PM
    • #3
    • 4th Mar 18, 4:47 PM
    Hi Flyflyaway,

    Thanks for the reply and I am sorry that you are having similar issues and health problems. You are spot on that it's not worth being unhappy because of work.

    The reason I asked it was that I have applied for a job and I saw the reference form which is tick boxes. I am concerned that when any future employers see poor, they will decline any offer.

    I do hope that you pass your probation and start to feel better soon.

    Thanks alot for your kind words.
    • Savvy_Sue
    • By Savvy_Sue 4th Mar 18, 4:56 PM
    • 38,508 Posts
    • 35,172 Thanks
    Savvy_Sue
    • #4
    • 4th Mar 18, 4:56 PM
    • #4
    • 4th Mar 18, 4:56 PM
    The reason I asked it was that I have applied for a job and I saw the reference form which is tick boxes. I am concerned that when any future employers see poor, they will decline any offer.
    Originally posted by warren100
    Then you need to be pre-emptive. Something like "reason for leaving: after suffering a period of stress and anxiety made worse when my mother died, I was able to take a six month sabbatical from work. I have used this time to ensure that I have made a good recovery from those issues and I'm ready to return to the work place."

    Or, assuming that references are only taken up after you've had a conditional offer, tell them at that point that your recent sick record is poor, give the reasons, and assure them that you're better now.

    I am not sure I would say that you need to change jobs, it's a tricky one because clearly you're NOT completely recovered because the thought of returning to your current employer is causing symptoms. And you don't, tbh, know that a new employer would be better ...
    Still knitting!
    Completed: 1 adult cardigan, 3 baby jumpers, 3 shawls, 1 sweat band, 3 pairs baby bootees,
    1 Wise Man Knitivity figure + 1 sheep, 2 pairs socks, 2 hats 2 balaclavas for seamen, 1 balaclava for myself ...
    Current projects: Poppies, mohair cardigan pattern arrived and going strong!
    • warren100
    • By warren100 4th Mar 18, 5:21 PM
    • 29 Posts
    • 6 Thanks
    warren100
    • #5
    • 4th Mar 18, 5:21 PM
    • #5
    • 4th Mar 18, 5:21 PM
    Hi Sue,

    Thanks for your reply and suggestions which are really helpful.

    I guess I have to come to the realisation that the role is not right for me. As I said, there are many reasons why I find it difficult, one being people above me not meeting deadlines for work I have to complete meaning I have to work extra and go in early and stay late, with no extra pay and putting me under more pressure because they think they are more important. I have done everything I can to try and make it work but I can't keep on pretending.

    The role I took on was something I and my company thought would be a good fit but it seems not. I am looking to get out of Retail and into a field that I can really utilise my skills and actually get some fulfilment from my job.
    • keepcalmandstayoutofdebt
    • By keepcalmandstayoutofdebt 4th Mar 18, 5:26 PM
    • 3,204 Posts
    • 1,682 Thanks
    keepcalmandstayoutofdebt
    • #6
    • 4th Mar 18, 5:26 PM
    • #6
    • 4th Mar 18, 5:26 PM
    Give this a view - http://www.channel4.com/programmes/the-job-interview/episode-guide/series-2

    In the first episode of the latest series, one of the interviewees is having to explain the death of a parent in being absent from the work place.
    "If you are caught in a rainstorm, once you accept that you'll receive a soaking, the only thing left to do is enjoy the walk"
    • Detroit
    • By Detroit 4th Mar 18, 6:16 PM
    • 747 Posts
    • 2,332 Thanks
    Detroit
    • #7
    • 4th Mar 18, 6:16 PM
    • #7
    • 4th Mar 18, 6:16 PM
    That sounds like a really tough time you've had. I agree that your health should come first and you should look for alternatives if you feel your job is responsible.

    As you've worked there so long, and in some ways it sounds like a good company (sabbatical for example) is there any possibility of an internal transfer or other change of duties to a less stressful environment?

    Given your long standing health condition, your company may consider this as part of a reasonable adjustment. If you can return, you can raise this as part of your return to work meeting. Just a thought.

    In terms of your sick record for future jobs, I agree with savvy sue's approach.


    Put your hands up.
    • MilduraS
    • By MilduraS 4th Mar 18, 6:21 PM
    • 19 Posts
    • 29 Thanks
    MilduraS
    • #8
    • 4th Mar 18, 6:21 PM
    • #8
    • 4th Mar 18, 6:21 PM
    I'm sorry to hear things are so tough for you.

    Do you have a HR department? If so it would be worth coming clean and explaining that although you were able to handle (and succeed!) in your previous roles you don't feel suited to your current role. They might be willing to move you to back to a role similar to your previous ones. If you've been there long enough to earn a sabbatical I assume they have years of good work history on record.

    I've been feeling similar in my current role which I've held for a few years. I finally reached breaking point and decided to hand in my notice at the end of last week. It turns out that despite the negativity from my current boss, the rest of management don't want to lose me and they are now looking at creating a new completely different role. My current job is very specialised and I didn't for a second think they would be willing to move me elsewhere but I've been surprised.

    If you are certain about moving elsewhere, address it head on during the interview. When they ask why you're leaving/ have left your current role explain it in the same way you have here. You've held other stressful jobs without problems but you are not suited to that particular type of work. Bringing it up while you're there to answer any concerns seems better than leaving the interviewer to draw their own conclusions when they later get your reference.
    • warren100
    • By warren100 4th Mar 18, 6:42 PM
    • 29 Posts
    • 6 Thanks
    warren100
    • #9
    • 4th Mar 18, 6:42 PM
    • #9
    • 4th Mar 18, 6:42 PM
    Thanks for the link and advice
    • warren100
    • By warren100 4th Mar 18, 6:52 PM
    • 29 Posts
    • 6 Thanks
    warren100
    Hi Detroit and Milduras,

    Thanks for you replies. I have my back to work interview tomorrow and actually was planning on what you have suggested and being totally honest with them about how it's making me ill and see if there is any options they can offer. The company is great generally but my role involves working with high up people who act like I explained. Yes I have a perfect record over my 8 years but this job has just brought me to my knees and all that I can see to do is leave.

    Milduras, sorry to hear of what have gone through and I am glad that it's worked out
    • Detroit
    • By Detroit 4th Mar 18, 7:07 PM
    • 747 Posts
    • 2,332 Thanks
    Detroit
    Hi Detroit and Milduras,

    Thanks for you replies. I have my back to work interview tomorrow and actually was planning on what you have suggested and being totally honest with them about how it's making me ill and see if there is any options they can offer. The company is great generally but my role involves working with high up people who act like I explained. Yes I have a perfect record over my 8 years but this job has just brought me to my knees and all that I can see to do is leave.

    Milduras, sorry to hear of what have gone through and I am glad that it's worked out
    Originally posted by warren100
    When you have your meeting if you are asked if you consider yourself to have a disability it is advisable to say that you have a long term mental health condition. If you are not asked, tell them anyway and ensure they record it.
    This should ensure that any consideration given to adjusting your duties occurs within the context of their obligations under discrimination laws.


    Put your hands up.
    • xapprenticex
    • By xapprenticex 5th Mar 18, 6:40 PM
    • 1,436 Posts
    • 1,376 Thanks
    xapprenticex
    Good luck dude, anxiety sux
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

1,101Posts Today

6,615Users online

Martin's Twitter