How did i get myself in this mess? Advice please

Hello All,

It is 3am. I took the day off work to try and sort the mess i have got myself into. I am normally the one giving advice and offering support. To sit here and write this is hard, very hard.

Bit of background. Met husband at 15. We had four children and were together for 20 years until nearly two years ago. 7 years ago I decided to finally embark on my dream of going to university and graduating to do the job I always wanted. I achieved it and been graduated two years now and is a good job with a good salary (32,160), although very stressful and challenging.
When my marriage ended I think I lost myself. It was my choice because the way he was drained me.Household income was reduced to mine, although I did get tax credits. Over the past two years I have spent beyond my means. Mainly on the children for Christmas and holidays as I feel guilty for ending the marriage but also because I thought I could afford the repayments. And I could if it was not for tax credits overpayments and money I owe from carers allowance I got whilst at college/uni for caring for my daughter (I did not realise when I started i was no longer allowed it, I did appeal and no luck). These overpayments are now creating me sleepless nights and so are my non priority debts. I only realised how much they were when I was considering a DRO. So in a sense I know i have to go bankrupt...but i am seriously kicking myself for creating this mess and petrified of the process.

I do not own my house. I have a car worth about £1000....although maybe a bit less as not in fab condition. However I need a car for work. I go to meetings and do visits several times a day. I have no valuables- at all. So here goes to list my debt. Oh just to note i met someone in Sept and he moved in January but out again May. He was paying towards household. Plus when I renewed my tax credits my payments went from 70 a week to £5...big drop in income that was unexpected again Yes I was silly to think he would stay...i intended to rent my spare rooms out to help. However my older daughter had to move back in with my grandson and she cannot claim housing benefit because i am her mum. She moved back for support as she is type 1 diabetic....as am i and my other daughter. Well that's enough ramble just wanted to give a picture, also hope to get it out.

My situation
Total salary or wages 2,020
Total other income 260
Total other benefit 87
Total other income 0
Total income 2,367

Rent 480
Ground rent and service charges (factor fees if you live in Scotland) 0
Mortgage 0
Second mortgage or secured loan 0
Mortgage endowment and mortgage PPI 0
Building and contents insurance 10
Pension and life insurance 0
Council tax (including water charge if you live in Scotland) 154
Gas 50
Electricity 95
Water (does not apply if you live in Scotland) 40
Other utilities (coal, oil, calor gas) 0
TV licence 12
Magistrates' or sheriff court fines 0
Maintenance or child support 0
Hire purchase or conditional sale 0
Childcare costs 0
Adultcare
costs 0
breakdown 15

Total essential outgoings 856

Total phone costs 104 Note 1
Total travel costs 250
Total housekeeping costs 675
Total other spending 236
Total outgoings 2,121

Total money for all creditors 245

Rent arrears 0 0
Mortgage arrears 0 0
Second mortgage or securedloan
arrears 0 0
Magistrates' or sheriff court fine arrears 0 0
Council tax arrears (including water charge arrears if you live in Scotland) 0 0
Maintenance or childsupport
arrears 0 0
Gas arrears 0 0
Electricity arrears 0 0
Other utilities arrears (coal, oil, calor gas) 0 0
Hirepurchase
or conditionalsale
arrears 0 0

Money owed
Government overpayments/debts
tax credits 2,114 17
tax credits 3,591 28
carers allowance 5,473 43

very 1,767 14
isme 1,965
littlewoods 1,275
Barclays 1,900
m and s 1,800
Santander 900
capital one 340
jicama 400
next 800
h and m 314
Halifax loan 2,500
Halifax loan 600
credit union 1,100 9
student loan overpayment (childcare grrr) 3,500
overdraft 800
Total owed to nonpriorty

debts 31,139

I am up to date with priority debts. Behind by a month with a couple of non priority (very). This month i actually had to cancel my DD for most things though. I called Barclays to try a payment plan but lady said she was going to put me in instant default as i could not pay anything back and would not enter into an agreement with me. I have not been making any payments towards the overpayments and they are now chasing me (carers allowance i have been paying £20 month for 3 years). I only realised today it was a debt when I was enquiring.
If i continue to try and pay all this i cannot afford food. I am drained everyday because i am trying to work with health conditions and all this is swimming in my mind. To be honest i know what i have to do...but I am scared. I do not even have the fee for it and have no family/friends to borrow from. Also do i need to continue to pay now if this is the route i am going to go down?

Please some friendly advice

Thanks