I'm crap with money - its official

Beetle · 11 June 2007 at 8:49PM

As I write this, I keep filling up and having a good old cry because today, I admitted to my husband that I am crap with money and I have a spending problem.

Yet this admission hasn't made me feel any better as we have precisely £0 to live on until the end of this month.
I've put a stop on ALL savings, but so far 3 of our direct debits have bounced and good old Barclays have cost us £125 in bank charges so far this month which has taken us even further over our overdraft.

I just need to hear some wise words from some wise people to help us get out of this situation.

I am going to leave all debit cards at home, and I am asking my boss tomorrow if she can increase my hours by one more day (I work Mon/Tues/Wed as have toddler to look after). And darling little boy will have to attend nursery for another day each week. He loves is, but it means I see less of him and I have worked out we will be £125/mth better off financially.

I am on a darn good salary for what I do (only cos I've worked there for almost 9yrs and have moved from department to department and taken the salary with me) and hubby works SOOOO very hard and all I do is squander our money. We have no savings to speak of, as until maybe 4yrs ago we had £3000 rainy day fund (in case the house broke!) and yet now we have nothing. Nyet. Nada. Not a sausage. We've used our endowment to pay debts. Cut up credit cards and then got new ones out at 0% to pay off overdrafts. now we are back at square one because I am CRAP WITH MONEY!

We are living hand to mouth and I spend money when I shouldn't. Perhaps I need to work another day to stop me from going shopping with the wee one and buying him nice clothes.

what I need it our Martin to come to our house and sort us out.

But where do we begin?
I am currently working on my statement of affairs so you can all take a peek but that I imagine will take me all of tonight to figure out.

As for good old Barclays, they've sent me 6yrs bank statements so I am going to claim back my charges. That's not short term fixing though is it? And we need some short term help.

I'm so depressed please help! Someone!

Sea78 · 11 June 2007 at 8:52PM

Massive hugs to you and welcome to the board. Well done for posting, and I am sure that we'll all be able to help out with suggestions and advice once you do post that SOA. I can understand how frustrating it must be with the charge s- doesn't help at all. I'm not sure what you can do in the short term, I'm sure that someone will have some suggestions.

When do you get chlid benefit paid to you? Do you get child tax credit? Are these still to be paid into your accounts?

Sea xxx

blackangeluk · 11 June 2007 at 8:57PM

Hi there

I was at a similar point to you just a few weeks ago and believe me there is light at the end of the horizon.

First of all congratulations on your light bulb moment, life can now only get better :T

You are doing the right thing preparing a SOA, it may shock and upset you initially but you really will feel a lot lot calmer when you take stock of the situation and put yourself back in control.

To try and get some money short term, get some stuff on Ebay. I thought I had nothing to sell and I have already made about £75 in the last few days, are there any clothes/toys your little boy has grown out of that you can sell? Any clothes you no longer wear, games, anything you think you can get money for - it is amazing what you can sell.

Do you have any books you could sell on Amazon? There are also loads of cashback sites, I've used pigsback and quidco but I know people will suggest a lot more than I know about.

I wish there was more I could say to help and I know you will get a lot more advice from others.

You really will be able to sort this out. I felt destitute a few weeks ago and now I have a manageable budget and as my husband calls me "tight with the purse strings". Congratulations on facing up to your debt and good luck.

knuckles1976 · 11 June 2007 at 9:00PM

Hello, I am sending you a cyber hug as you sound really down.

I hope we can help you when you post your soa. I need to do mine.

X

LookingAhead · 11 June 2007 at 9:17PM

Hi Beetle.

Nowt wrong with a good old cry when you face up to things in life. No-one said this ol' truck through this lifetime is a bed o' roses all the way and that we have to grin our way through it. Not realistic at all. Well, unless your drugged up to the eyeballs every day, then, maybe.

A lightbulb has gone 'ping!' and you know you can't go on like this.

So....things can get better from here.

As suggested above....start to EBAY, Amazon, car boot - whatever you an to get some cash in.

Post your Statement of Affairs and see if others can pin point potential savings where you may have overlooked them (it happens).

Are you claiming bank charges back? This could help. There's a whole section on this site about claiming charges back so if it is applicable - get reading.

You are entitled to a good cry but don't let it keep you down. You can take control of this situation and turn things around. Even little baby steps count like, starting to make meals cheaper (actually that's a big help!) or reducing the amount you spend on transport.

Do you keep a spending diary? Can't recommend doing so highly enough if you don't.

But keep coming back and posting here and getting ideas - this site in amazing when you are starting out on the debt free wannabe road. There's so much free advice & support here every single day of the year - just help yourself.

Good luck!
xxx

dubgirl · 11 June 2007 at 9:23PM

Hi Beetle and welcome, aside from the great advice thats already been given, please dont beat yourself up. you've taken the first step in what is going to be a difficult journey at times, but it will be worth it. there are many of us on dfw who have felt the same as you at some point and if nothing else here you will get lots of support and advice. Please dont give up, have you had a really good talk with your other half (OH) about the finances. you need his support to get through this together.

Beetle · 11 June 2007 at 10:07PM

Thank youuuuuuuuuu all so much have got a bit of it out of my system.
Have just gone through my last 6yrs bank statements - have got some totting up to do but realised that hubby and I were doing fine until babe came along. Just didn't realise just how EXPENSIVE it would be having a child.
We do get child benefit, and we get about £42/mth in tax credits but thats it.
I am going to claim my charges back from Barclays, in the meantime I think we will change our current account. Already have a parachute one set up but is only temporary until we find the account that's right for us.

Anyway thank you all again so very much. I am very thankful I really am.
How best should I post my SOA? Just copy and paste or attach a file? not sure how to attach a file to this post?

Sea78 · 11 June 2007 at 10:11PM

Copy and paste will be fine i think

Glad you're feeling a bit better. I agree, my spending went through the roof when I had the kids, but it doesn't have to be like this.

Sea xx

chevalier · 11 June 2007 at 10:45PM

Hi there Beetle
First of all well done on telling your OH. I get the impression that you have been doing more of the financial management than him, so is this all a big surprise to him? If so let it sink in a bit.

Ref statement of affairs (SOA) have a look at southernscousers sticky at the top of the forum. That gives us a good amount of information to help you.

Ref no money. Spend tonight hunting around the house, down the sofa in pockets, anywhere, you may be surprised how much you turn up!

If money is a problem ref food, then get creative. Look in your freezer and cupboard, are they completely bare? Set your self a challenge to live off the contents of both for as long as possible. You don't HAVE to have meat every meal for example. And just this once the fish fingers can be for you and junior etc. It may be a bit boring but it clears out the things that lurk at the back of cupboards so that they don't go out of date, (and therefore are wasted - very un DFW).

The next thing I would suggest you do is plan plan plan. Do you cook from scratch? Or are their lots of ready meals in your shopping? Do you buy brands? Etc. You can cut your food budget by a third at least if there are 3 of you and it is over £300 a month! Meal plans are your friend, they stop the two of your impulse buying in the shop.

I was really sorry to hear that you thought children are expensive. They are as expensive as you want them to be. We live on a very tight budget. 95% of my boys clothes are second hand. You wouldn't know though as they are from hardly worn bundles I buy on ebay. (Just wish they could be resold but my two wear them out:rolleyes: !) I get them what I call signature pieces, eg like a special spider man t shirt. It goes with everything and all my DS1 cares about is that he is wearing spiderman, the rest of the clothes don't count! By doing this I can still get the boys clarks shoes, which I won't compromise on. Sorry to go on about this! Have a look on your local freecycle group - https://www.freecycle.org - (you have to join first), but there are often people on there offering bundles of clothes. Even if they are a bit worn, then the 3 days that he is at nursery you wouldn't want him in best anyway.

By the way do either of your companies run voucher schemes for nurseries? If so remember that both of you can apply so extra discount.

You are not alone. The most important thing is to remember that your mind set has to change to become debt free. This means throwing preconceptions of what is the right standards for thing will have to change. Eg value chopped tomatoes taste the same in spag bol as normal price ones! Difference in price? 30p I buy about 8 cans a month. Saving £2.40 - thats £28.80 A YEAR!!!

best of luck
chev

SuSu1871 · 11 June 2007 at 11:30PM

Hi Beetle

Welcome aboard!

You've done the hardest bit and posted your first post on here. It's all uphill from now on :T

Post your SOA as soon as you can and we'll all jump on it with hints & tips and before you know it you'll be hammering away at your debts.

See you soon

SuSu1871

Midnight_Sky_2 · 11 June 2007 at 11:42PM

Hi Beetle, well done on facing your problems - as they say a problem shared is a problem halved and you'll get loads of support and advice from everyone here!

The only thing I can suggest short term is ebay everything that you can - books, toys, clothes - you'll be amazed at how quickly you can raise extra cash through this. Also, pop over to the OS board for some great hints and tips on how to make a meal out of virtually nothing.

Once you've posted your SOA you'll get loads of help!

Keep posting!

Midnight x

I'm crap with money - its official

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