Wits end

Kitten868 · 20 March 2017 at 7:59PM

you poor thing this is awful. I can't believe you're dealing with all this at just 43!
I think you have to see it as two separate issues. 1. the mortgage is fine as it is for now. if the worst happens you have that cover in place to bring it down to £36k. you will be able to get a mortgage on your own for that. this is not a problem.
2. the debt. I think regardless of what the outcome is for your husband you need to apply for a dmp. this will get your interest frozen and make your monthly repayments affordable. just get it manageable.

the health problems are awful. I'm so sorry. if he does get a bad diagnosis then you can change your dmp accordingly and Macmillan can advise you when it comes to paying bills and visiting hospital. you can do this through nationwide building society xxx

unlucky10 · 21 March 2017 at 10:04PM

Thank you so much for everyone's reply so far. I'm sorry I've not replied earlier on top of everything else my mum whose got breast cancer has suffered a DVT this week as a result of her chemo, never rains but it pours does it! Still no news on my husbands appointment as yet but praying we hear soon as it was marked as urgent. Thanks for all the reassuring advice it's just good to hear that there are avenues at least and although whatever the outcome we've clearly got a mamouth mountain to climb I feel better for having shared My fears on here. I will post a statement of affairs as soon as I'm able but we've got so many outgoings it's not a five min job especially as some bills like mobile phones are through my husbands business but as he's a sole trader it's still his expense if you get what I mean! Coupled with the fact that he doesn't know I'm doing this yet so I have to surreptitiously get in his office without him knowing as I'd rather not stress him further at the moment I'd rather do the research and then present him with possible options and hopefully some solutions! Thank you again for all being so supportive it means a great deal.

Kankaroo · 21 March 2017 at 11:31PM

I am so so sorry you are going through this. It's so easy for me to say but try not to worry. Sometimes getting just letting people know what is going on can help a little.

Ring your creditors, explain your situation. I think you will genuinely be surprised at how understanding they will be. A lot of creditors will let you put your accounts on hold for a decent amount of time and then will be happy with you making smaller payments.

Seek advice from CAB. Their advisors are so informed.

Go and speak to your own gp. They can talk with you and listen to what is going on and give you coping techniques for all the stress and anxiety that you are going through at the moment.

Try and spend a little time for you and your wee family. Life is so incredibly precious.

Much love to you.

Cx

enthusiasticsaver · 22 March 2017 at 9:10AM

Sorry about your husband and mums health issues and hope you get some answers soon.

Re the debt, you are in a fairly good position in that you have some critical illness protection albeit not enough to cover the mortgage in full. Should your husband be diagnosed with cancer I would use the critical illness lump sum to pay as much off the mortgage as possible. I don't think it is worth upping the cover at this stage as he has had tests and I am sure it won't be covered due to pre existing conditions. Paying a big chunk off will help though. Is the mortgage up to date?

The unsecured debt is another matter. Don't turn it into secured or realise equity from property. If you are unable to meet minimum payments at the moment I would write to them explaining circumstances, ask them to freeze interest and offer a token payment until your situation is clearer and you know what your income will be. A DMP may be the way to go but to get some breathing space while you deal with the health diagnosis I would not rush into it. One thing you can do is go through all direct debits and decide what is essential and what can go. Posting an soa on here will get you more advice.

StopIt · 22 March 2017 at 10:59AM

unlucky10 wrote: »

Thank you so much for everyone's reply so far. I'm sorry I've not replied earlier on top of everything else my mum whose got breast cancer has suffered a DVT this week as a result of her chemo, never rains but it pours does it! Still no news on my husbands appointment as yet but praying we hear soon as it was marked as urgent. Thanks for all the reassuring advice it's just good to hear that there are avenues at least and although whatever the outcome we've clearly got a mamouth mountain to climb I feel better for having shared My fears on here. I will post a statement of affairs as soon as I'm able but we've got so many outgoings it's not a five min job especially as some bills like mobile phones are through my husbands business but as he's a sole trader it's still his expense if you get what I mean! Coupled with the fact that he doesn't know I'm doing this yet so I have to surreptitiously get in his office without him knowing as I'd rather not stress him further at the moment I'd rather do the research and then present him with possible options and hopefully some solutions! Thank you again for all being so supportive it means a great deal.

Oh wow, you've been right through the ringer.

You can tell the cancer in both your mum and your husband to do one. It may not help physically, but whatever you do, do not let it beat your family mentally. You can get through this, and remember to ask for help and support is not a sign of weakness but of strength. We can all beat cancer together and make sure to make use of all of the services available to you.

Post your SOA when you can, but for now, just enjoy time with your family and be determined that neither debt, nor cancer will define your lives together.

Good luck, be strong (And I can see from this thread you're a tough cookie!) and things will get better.

Wits end

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