The Cutting Down / Giving Up Booze Thread (Part 14)

Hi Everyone,
Can I join? I have been reading this thread on and off for 6 months and have known in my heart that my drinking was becoming an issue. Every night after my youngest two are in bed and I sit down it is ALWAYS time for a glass of wine and then another and then another. Every morning, I wake up feeling awful and wonder why I drank so much when I know I have to get children up and to school and nursery. I started reading this thread last week and, on Wednesday last week, I had my last glass of wine. Originally, I was going to stop for a few weeks but still drink when I go out, however, I have been reading Honey Bears posts and see so many similarities to me.. drinking when no-one thinks I am, becoming unpleasant when I drink - especially to my wonderful husband. And then Honey Bear mentioned Belle's blog and I had a look.. Well if reading the first month of her blog wasn't a serious light bulb moment for me I'm not sure what was. I cannot moderate my drinking (tried and failed too many times). So I have decided to stop altogether. Its scary - no drinking with friends, birthdays, Christmas, barbeques, because its there......

So for this month I am on 4/31 plese Shaggy

Welcome and good luck takingonedayatatime! Big decision, all the best :T
4/14 TF for me please.

Welcome One Day at a Time! :wave: Exellent name, by the way. I'm so pleased you've posted! May I suggest that you keep posting every day now you're here? It helps keep me on the straight and narrow and it helps enormously that we all cheer each other on. It makes a huge difference to me and I can't see a day any time soon that I'd want to be without this thread - thanks to everyone who posts, for the fabulous Shaggy's scoring.

As for Belle - hurrah! I don't know whether I would have made it without her support, but I doubt it. I didn't use all of her services, in fact very few of them, but I did sign up to the 100 Day Challenge which includes daily emails and she always, always pinged a reply back (other than a week here or there when she was on holiday) for well over a year.

Whenever I asked a question she always replied and I'm still in touch with her - every annual anniversary I use her a Tiny Gift button and tell her I'm still off the booze. I don't give her a fraction of the amount I've saved on the cost of the booze I'd have still been drinking if it wasn't for her, either so it's the least I can do.

If you do sign up, she'll allocate you a place in her records, and even if you don't contact her again for months or years - you keep that spot. It's yours forever. She knows exactly how many find it too tough to carry on and need a second chance, and she'll still be there if that happens. I found that amazingly reassuring.

Huge good luck with it. If you'd like to go back to my beginning it's all on the previous thread, and I started here, post number 2569. I'm only suggesting it as a bit of light reading because despite the fact that I read dozens of books and blogs by women who have knocked drinking on the head, a lot of the things I experienced hadn't been mentioned them in them - such as feeling utterly exhausted for the first few weeks. When I commented on it on this forum as I was going through it someone commented the same day, saying it was because I'd massively cut back on sugar consumption by cutting out booze which I found hugely helpful. And it meant I could put myself on a, 'I'm allowed as much chocolate as I want to eat for a few weeks while I give up the booze' diet. Faaaaaannnnnntastic.

Someone else on here mentioned Becks Blue the first time and despite the fact that Belle says she doesn't believe anyone drinking AF beer or wine is really alcohol free - it's worked for me for three and a half years, so we have a difference of opinion on that matter. (I also eat liqueur chocolates occasionally - bad me!)

Either way, whatever you decide to do and how you decide to do it, good luck with it. We're all rooting for you.

Welcome back, Green Karen! I find posting daily really helps, and I'd do it even if I were target-free. It kind of focusses my mind.

Thanks SukeyBoo, Maggie M, PSL and Maman for your comments about being around people who are drinking. It's not so much resolve, it's such a habit not to drink I get surprised by the thought that I could, or can, or might. Mostly I'm absolutely fine with it, but just occasionally ugly temptation does rear it's head again, although not very often. What was so surprising was that it happened twice within a matter of two or three days, and it's been a long time since that happened. It's a very fleeting thing when it does and so far kicking it into touch hasn't been difficult, but it's a saluatory lesson that I suppose I'll never be entirely free of it. Bit of a bummer but there you go, worse things could have happened.

In my drinking days I always wondered how people could cope not drinking and when I stopped one of the things I felt very, very keenly was that I'd lost a freedom. Lost the freedom to drink without thinking about whether I should or not, lost the freedom of being carefree about drinking, lost the freedom to be the same as everyone else. Actually, I'd lost all of those freedoms several years before I stopped because none of them applied to me for at least 10 years before I gave up the booze but at the time I didn't fully realise that.

By contrast, now I have completely new freedoms that I didn't know existed, namely freedom from hangovers, freedom from the guilt of waking up knowing or wondering if I'd said something offensive, freedom from worrying whether there was enough left in the bottle for me to help myself without appearing greedy, fear of doing something to my body that massively increases the chances of several cancers. And so on. There are lots more, but you get the picture. Lots of freedoms, none of which I realised I'd lost because they all crept up on me and I hadn't noticed.

OH now drinks a glass (or two very occasionally) most nights, whereas before we'd polish off a bottle between us every night without thinking twice about it, and often then open another one .... He does over-indulge when his team wins, or sometimes just because, but it's very rare now. He's really, really good at controlling his intake, and I just never was. I honestly don't mind him drinking and I don't even think about it for myself at all, ever, which is why the temptation came as such a surprise.

Pretty much every day - I don't miss it, is what I'm saying. That's rather fantastic, really, and the recent tempting, fleeting thought has just reminded me of that. It's like everything in life, I suppose; nothing is exactly as you thought it would be, but it's pretty marvellous in a different and unexpected way.

5/31 please, Shaggy.

Thank you Sukeyboo, Green Karen, maman and Honey Bear for your warm welcome. This is the first time I have ever commented on blogs and its already good to know that you're around.

Honey Bear - I definitely plan to post every day while on this journey. I'm not sure what to expect along the way - at the moment I'm still on the 'I'm going to miss out on things...' phase rather than 'I want to do this for me, my health, my children and my husband.. (and to a lesser extent my wallet)' phase.

You're comments on sleeping lots has struck a chord.. last night I went to bed at 8.30 and woke at 7.00 this morning. Right now I am sitting with a mild headache which has been there on and off since last Thursday.. Both of these things can be attributed to less sugar so I'm trying to bear with it for a while. I'd love to eat more chocolate but I have gone up 2 dress sizes in a year so really need to reign the chocolate in a bit!!

Belle has a style of writing that seems to hit home a lot. I am only up to day 49 of her journey and am reading a little each night at my normal 'wine' time and it is helping greatly. I will take a look at the 100 day challenge and will go from there. I need all the help I can get! ;-)

The only concern I have in the immediate future is that I am out with a friend on the 14th October and historically, these days out are always focused on alcohol. I am still looking forward to going out as we have planned charity book shopping and a coffee but I know that when these activities are done it would be normal to go to a bar and drink and when I say thanks by no thanks - there will be raised eyebrows.... So, do I mention it beforehand to give her a chance to cancel or just go and be strong?

Thank you again for the welcome everyone - I really appreciate it.