Hate Weddings...

Returntosender
Returntosender Posts: 32 Forumite
in Weddings & anniversaries
I couldn't be happier to be engaged to the man I adore. The problem is, I hate weddings. The pomp and circumstance makes me cringe and the money people throw away on them makes me want to throw up.

So, I'm trying to plan a very low budget, low faff wedding. I'd rather not get hitched in a Register Office so I'm trying to think outside the box when it comes to the venue - I absolutely don't want to spend more than a few hundred quid on the venue.

Am I mad thinking this is doable? :o
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Comments

  • Gloomendoom
    Gloomendoom Posts: 16,550 Forumite
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    I think you will struggle. Have you considered one of the smaller register offices?

    The register office I used for my first marriage was essentially just a front room in a house in Scotland.

    Fees were around £90, if I remember correctly.
  • Tigsteroonie
    Tigsteroonie Posts: 24,954 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Anniversary First Post Photogenic
    The expense of getting married other than in a Register Office isn't the marriage fees or the venue hire - it's the cost of getting the Registrar to attend. You could be looking at £300+ simply for an official to leave their building and walk down the road into the building you choose. If you're thinking low budget, that's not low budget.

    Instead, have a look around your local towns and select a Register Office that you like. We chose to marry in the neighbouring Town Hall because their Register Office was in the main building, which was quite ornate and had lots of lovely stained glass windows. It also had its own car park, which can be useful in town centres!

    We pulled our wedding in for under £500 but then we only had four guests.
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  • Returntosender
    Returntosender Posts: 32 Forumite
    Tigsteroonie wrote: »
    The expense of getting married other than in a Register Office isn't the marriage fees or the venue hire - it's the cost of getting the Registrar to attend. You could be looking at £300+ simply for an official to leave their building and walk down the road into the building you choose. If you're thinking low budget, that's not low budget.

    Instead, have a look around your local towns and select a Register Office that you like. We chose to marry in the neighbouring Town Hall because their Register Office was in the main building, which was quite ornate and had lots of lovely stained glass windows. It also had its own car park, which can be useful in town centres!

    We pulled our wedding in for under £500 but then we only had four guests.
    Can you marry in a Register Office that isn't local to you? I thought it had to be in the county you lived.. our local RO is hideous....
  • Gloomendoom
    Gloomendoom Posts: 16,550 Forumite
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Returntosender wrote: »
    Can you marry in a Register Office that isn't local to you? I thought it had to be in the county you lived.. our local RO is hideous....

    Mine was 300 miles away from where I lived.
  • skimper
    skimper Posts: 372 Forumite
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Post
    Our registrar cost us £650! Nearly choked when she told me the price. that was in East Cheshire.
  • TonyMMM
    TonyMMM Posts: 3,379 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Post First Anniversary
    edited 14 May 2018 at 4:19PM
    Returntosender wrote: »
    Can you marry in a Register Office that isn't local to you? I thought it had to be in the county you lived.. our local RO is hideous....

    You have to give notice in the area you live in (just some form filling and ID checking), the ceremony can be in another register office, or licenced venue, wherever you like.
  • pigpen
    pigpen Posts: 40,995 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Anniversary Photogenic First Post
    Our local registry office is an ugly a$$ new-ish building.. the rooms are sparse and it is right in th emiddle of the town centre with nowhere even for photographs to be taken.. We would have to give notice there.. I looked into exactly this a while back.

    You book the place you want.. give notice at the place you live.. the paperwork is all online so it is sent straight over without any actual paperwork exchanging hands, when this is done you ring the chosen venue back, tell them you have given notice and they will formalise the booking. Within 2 weeks you should get formal notification that your chosen place has been booked.

    It is that simple.. 2-3 phonecalls and an hour at your local office and you're all set.

    You need an idea of guest numbers as registry offices have a number of rooms available depending on the size of the group.

    IF I were to get married I wouldn't tell anyone.. I would book it, have 2 witnesses and just do it.. the sheer logistics of getting the 2 families together is too stressful.
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  • duchy
    duchy Posts: 19,511 Forumite
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker Xmas Saver!
    Our nearest registry office is a hideous 60s built building (but does have a cathedral and a castle opposite for photos) the second nearest however is a former archbishop's palace and is gorgeous.

    Around here you can marry in Napoleonic caves too.
    I Would Rather Climb A Mountain Than Crawl Into A Hole

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  • de_artie
    de_artie Posts: 7 Forumite
    marriage -> not necessarily a bad thing
    wedding -> hassle, tedious and unpleasant for sure!
  • MilduraS
    MilduraS Posts: 30 Forumite
    First Post First Anniversary
    This post could have been written by me a few weeks ago! Fortunately my husband to be has now agreed to get married abroad with parents and siblings only. My family is huge and I was terrified of the guest list escalating. On top of that, they would all need to travel which would mean feeding all 50+ of them for the entire day rather than having some as evening only guests.

    There are a lot of gorgeous registry offices around which could save you a fortune. I'm a 40 minute train ride from London so my list is fairly London-centric. If you're in the area a few to look at are Chelsea (my friends eloped there and had two VERY happy Chelsea Pensioners as witnesses), Marylebone, St Albans (Nice for outdoor photos), Coventry and Woolwich (stunning interior!). You could try to find a registry office followed by a lovely restaurant nearby if numbers are small.

    If you're inviting a larger group you'll have a hard time sticking to that budget but you could certainly keep costs down. One of the best weddings I've ever been to was at a church followed by a reception at Itchen Abbas Village Hall near Winchester. It was more beautiful than I had imagined and it was one of the happiest, most relaxed weddings I've experienced (despite being an incredibly wet weekend in July). You just need to be mindful of the costs of renting furniture and crockery/cutlery if there are no caterers.
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