The Plan

Ive updated my signature to tally up our overpayments so far. I dont think we will make our target of 12k but we're OK with that, we certainly wont be far off as in the absence of unexpected bills (car, vets etc) we should be paying off about 1500 over the next 2 months. A lot of matched betting is happening at the moment but that will be used to cover expected bills such as swimming lessons and cattery when we go to visit relatives..

DH has stopped looking at the overpayment side of things so much, he was getting a bit obsessive and wishing his life away to when the mortgage is gone. I said we had a choice to either just pile absolutely everything at the mortgage and have no discretionary spending and get it paid off in 6 years or just stay the course and stop obsessing so much, he was getting so depressed about it it was making us both miserable - It'll be paid off in 10 years if we carry on as we are. He is focusing on maxmising side hustle incomes and im controlling outgoings but he's not to keep looking at the balance and playing on the overpyament calc!

I still get the spending twitch regularly, so often I find myself in the shops just looking for things I might need to buy as if the money I have left for the month is the target I need to spend asap. Ive managed to ignore it so far, Its very suprising how long things like cosmetics last (updated list below) when Im not trying to burn through them so I can go and buy more
I know its a small thing but overstocking a needless buying of cosmetics etc is a symptom of my spending behavour Im trying to reign in so Im staying very mindful of it.

The food money seems to be lasting well also. Ive been eating mostly cheap staples such as potatoes and rice with vegetables and pulses, when I buy meat its usually game which isnt as cheap and farmed meat can be so I dont eat much. Stocking up on spices cost a little extra so far this month. DH is also matching me on the cheap staples but eats vegetarian meat replacement products also as he cant tolerate pulses.

Council tax is going up next month by £5, water bill is going up £4.50 but energy should be staying the same as I havent used up the 'winter buffer' as yet.

Hairspray x2
sebastian hair gel 75ml
[STRIKE]nice and easy hair dye 1[/STRIKE]
Carino tee tree shampoo 250ml
Carino coconut conditioner 250ml
Paul Mitchell Shampoo one 500ml
Paul Mitchell Conditioner 750ml (I dont like this as a conditioner so use it as a shave gel - may take a while)
[STRIKE]Superdrug Argan oil Conditioner 300ml[/STRIKE]
Paul Mitchell Shampoo 3 250ml (I havent been swimming in ages and probably wont start again until spring, so this will take a while to be used up)
Paul Mitchell Conditioning treatment 250ml (as above)
Mitchum Deodrent [STRIKE]x3 [/STRIKE] x2
Sanex Deo x1
[STRIKE]sainsburys shower gel 30ml[/STRIKE]
Dr Bronner 4 in 1 organic baby sugar soap 355ml (I bought this for baby and for handwash but its too drying so I will just use it as a body wash)
Oliva soap 1 large bar
[STRIKE]Nivea Cleansing cream wash 30ml[/STRIKE]
sukin cream face cleanser 75ml
simple face wash 100ml
simple kind to skin repleninshing moisturiser 75ml
[STRIKE]superdrug hydrating serum last legs[/STRIKE]
[STRIKE]lush dream cream 50 ml[/STRIKE]
sainsburys vite body lotion 350ml
Bio-oil 200ml

Thats good advice Escapar. I should be able to just set it at £500 per month and forget it, t will be paid off in 10-11 years at that rate. 500 sounds like a lot but our payment is artifically low because we remortgaged to 28 years to keep as much flex in the system as possible - in case one of us lost our jobs or something. However at £500 op we would still be mortgage free by 50.

£750 per month would probably be doable but that starts obsession behaviour.

I would be willing to OP more than £1000 by doing a Dave Ramsey style - turn the TV off, both get a little extra work, live on rice and beans, cancel all the expensive things like baby groups and swimming lessons and just throw everything at the mortgage so it was gone before DS realises he is missing out on anything. We would have a completely debt/payment free life by the time he was 5 and we would be able to take him on nice trips etc without a worry.

DH doesnt want to do that, which I can understand, but when he kept looking at the 'problem' without being wiliing to implement more solutions such as the above it becomes purgatory.

Itll be easier to find a distraction at this time of year. Its worse for DH I think because he has downtime at work whilst he is waiting for reports to run which is when he would look at the mortgage balance and start playing with the OP calc.

TwentySomethingGirl wrote: »

Sorry I didn't reply to this. Only just got back on the forum in 2 months...!

I hope your little boy has settled down and you're finding it less lonely and boring. I certainly am now. He's nearly 4 months old and getting more interesting :rotfl: We've had a horrendous time, 10 weeks of screaming! We eventually gave up having tried every colic remedy suggested to us and took him to the doctor who prescribed baby gaviscon for reflux. It's a miracle drug, practically worked over night! He's been so much happier since he's been on it that I actually like him and being with him rather than at work. I went to one group with a friend and her 2 year old (she didn't want to go alone...) and it was quite nice, although my boy just sat on my lap watching everything. Going to try one locally to me soon now he's happier with life. We're also going to start swimming in a couple of weeks. Have you been yet? How did you find it with the baby?

Thankfully that reflux is sorted now! I have heard it can be really bad, where babies will refuse to eat and just be completely inconsolable. I dont blame you for not really wanting to get out with that going on...baby screaming is just so stressful just in itself :eek: and it would be near impossible to enjoy things, bet its a relief now thats behind you!

We have been swimming, his dad takes his on saturday mornings and I watch....I felt my mood lift when watching him swimming...the realisation that its not all night feeds and colic I think.:D DS seems to love swimming, you get a variety of responses from the babies, he is the only one who hasnt cried yet - which im weirdly proud of even though its not an achievement of mine in any way!! :rotfl:.
He did start when he was a month old and didnt seem to know what was going on to be honest but his awareness is definately picking up now. The babies that do cry just need a cuddle and reassurance, keeping it all light and fun. If theyve had enough, they sometimes just get out a little bit early, its rare but is an option.....30 minutes is a long time for their tiny little bodies. Your own babys cry will sound louder to you than it does to anyone else so dont worry about other people hearing any crying - thats what our instructor said anyway and we're never bothered by other babies at all.

DS is wiped out after swimming, has a feed and then sleeps for 3-4 hours...he usually wont nap more than 30 minutes at a time, so its great in that respect too. The last little thing in the lessons is laying them on their back and sing twinkle twinkle whilst supporting them and moving round in a circle - he once chilled out so much he closed his eyes and tried to nod off to sleep then :rotfl: DH loves it and where I have raised the subject of going somehwere cheaper or teaching him ourselves...DH would rather continue to find the money and take him so thats what the matched betting money is going to be used for.

Re the groups, I met a friend at one of the local church mother and baby groups which is signifcantly cheaper and DS seems to get the same out of of the 'sensory' groups - at this age anyway. He's just the same as your little one, just watches and plays a little bit but he definately seems happier than when we get stuck in our house for a few dats...and I am too, there is also tea and biscuits included in the price.

TwentySomethingGirl wrote: »

We did our first swimming lesson, he seemed to really enjoy it, even smiled a few times. His little butt floats quite a bit though so I had to hold that down :rotfl:

I finally felt brave enough to venture to a group a couple of weeks ago but of course it was Easter holidays and they all stop then so going to try and get to one this week.

I hope you're getting some sleep, our boy is still up every 3 hours :coffee:

:rotfl:Love how you have to push his butt down. The groups have scaled back a bit and ive stopped slimming world but will be seeing the mums at sensory tomorrow. Im just focusing on the bits I really enjoy, the stay and play is out for a while, summer is here and I dont want to be indoors too much, its been nice getting a break but Ive noticed a bit of cabin fever creeping in the last few days so itll be good to catch up with some adults other than my husband tomorrow.
I do need to make an effort to see if any mum friends are up for metting up, I dont want those friendships to fizzle out due to everyone being busy being parents.

On the finances front, bearing the above post in mind, weve been overspendning so I am stopping the overpayments until November when I go back to work - should be able to catch up.

Looking at the reasons for the overspending, mainly son and also some patio work which I over spent by quite a lot on the stone and also the labour, and then a little bit over on food, a little on personal spends, a little on car parking.....but every month :mad: Its my own fault I kept hearing myself say. I'll figure it out, we've still got a little buffer etc. But now Ive used up the buffer...and then some.

I shouldnt have said' i'll figure it out'. I set the budget like that for a reason and then undermined myself. For June I said no to myself, husband and also DS. e.g I wanted to continue slimming world and get a back treatment and continue pilates but I ran out of money, previous months were 'i'll figure it out', 'I need my back clicked', 'pilates is helping me recover'. This month I didnt have the money, so I said no, Its quite liberating to say no actually rather than worrying about whether borrowing from my future self would leave me with enough for all my maternity leave