University Challenge x 2

louby40 · 28 October 2017 at 9:35AM

Well done on the Christmas saving. I’ve got £450 saved. It should have been £600 so don’t know what happened there.

Plain_Jane · 29 October 2017 at 10:53AM

Thanks for your comments. Next year I'll do the same as you Cumbria Lass and save from January onwards, along with saving for things like insurance so that I can pay them off in one go.

Today we need to go to Costco for Loo Rolls and Chicken, we've found them To be cheaper for some things I don't know what everyone else thinks of them?

ampersand · 29 October 2017 at 11:04AM

Apologies if mysupermarket.co.uk is already suggested.- good comparison site across most main retailers.

Have been seeking best marzipan deals/prices.

Time to post an updated SOA perhaps?

Good luck.

HairyHandofDartmoor · 29 October 2017 at 2:19PM

Hi Jane. I do feel for you with kids going to uni. My DS1 went for two terms and then dropped out due to depression (I'd rather that than him commit suicide).

I missed him so much that I felt really miserable, but had just started to get used to it when he dropped out :eek:

With regard to your original soa, things may have changed since you put it up so apologies if so, but do you need to pay for dog grooming or could you do this yourselves?

Also if you have Sky tv do you need Netflix too? You spend a lot of money on hair cuts. I go to a hairdressing college for £5 for a trim and DH and the DC go to the local barber. Your car insurance seems very high, is this due to the young age of your twins?

Also you spend a lot on other child related expenses. What is this for?

I appreciate that some of this may have changed since the twins went to uni. It would help if you could put up an updated soa

Good luck with your journey

Kitten868 · 29 October 2017 at 3:38PM

Hello,

I really empathise with how hard it must be to have both girls go to university at once. How heart breaking. They will be happy and adjusting fine to university.
I think you need to sell both of their cars. Cars are a luxury not a right. I don't think it's expected to have a car at university - none of my friends did. And you get student discount on trains and coaches and buses. It would massively bring down your debt total and expenditure to get rid of them. I think it would be cheaper to rent cars for when they are home for summer. Me and my husband would love to have two cars but we can't afford it. It wouldn't mean you were letting them down. It would free you up to be less depressed and I'm sure they would want that more.
You've got rid of the storage that's £200 a month back. Once you've sold the cars you'll find it much easier finding the £400 a month to pay for their accommodation. It'll start being manageable instead of unfathomable x

HairyHandofDartmoor · 29 October 2017 at 4:19PM

Kitten868 wrote: »

Hello,

I really empathise with how hard it must be to have both girls go to university at once. How heart breaking. They will be happy and adjusting fine to university.
I think you need to sell both of their cars. Cars are a luxury not a right. I don't think it's expected to have a car at university - none of my friends did. And you get student discount on trains and coaches and buses. It would massively bring down your debt total and expenditure to get rid of them. I think it would be cheaper to rent cars for when they are home for summer. Me and my husband would love to have two cars but we can't afford it. It wouldn't mean you were letting them down. It would free you up to be less depressed and I'm sure they would want that more.
You've got rid of the storage that's £200 a month back. Once you've sold the cars you'll find it much easier finding the £400 a month to pay for their accommodation. It'll start being manageable instead of unfathomable x

I have to say that I agree 100% with this.

beanielou · 29 October 2017 at 7:47PM

Have to say I also agree with getting rid of the cars.
My DS had one but he & his GF paid for it themselves.
As they are now doing Masters I help them out when I can but my harsh reality is I cant really afford to. My DS is an adult & understands my situation.

greent · 29 October 2017 at 8:27PM

I agree about getting rid of the cars for the twins (hello by the way! - just read all of your diary

) My eldest is in her 2nd year at uni and a car just isn't realistic - she doesn't need one and can catch the train home for the rare times she comes! Cars are a luxury item which a student doesn't need - the cost of the car (insurance, tax, service, mot, fuel, depreciation) per year is huge and far outweighs what they'd spend on public transport (or can maybe borrow your car for an odd night when back in between semesters if you add them to your insurance? - my DD borrows mine v occasionally)

With regards to costs, £25 should more than cover their food in all likelihood per week. ANd £150 for 2 teenagers phones per month is (sorry) crazy - I have 2 teens, an 11yo (and an 8 yo) - and I spend way less than this on their 3 phone contracts.

Year 2 isn't always cheaper than in halls, I hate to say - my DD is in shared private accom this year after halls last year and her monthly spend has gone up - halls cover everything, whereas now she has to cover her share of the rent, the electric (no gas), water rates, broadband, tv licence - adds up (in her case) to more than last year's hall fees. Plus she had to pay rent from 1st July - and 6 weeks rent as deposit and a letting agents fee.

I do feel for you. Our 2nd is due to go to uni next year, so we'll have 2 there for a year. He is looking at medicine, though so will be doing 5-6 years - by which time no 3 will be going (crazily bright, so I honestly can't see him *not* going) And no 4 - if he goes - will be due to go when no 3 finishes (assuming a standard 3 year course)

Going back to cars, I have a couple of queries - your SOA only shows £9.4/ mth for maintenance for all cars - which includes MOT - sounds very low for a multiple car household? A mini service is often £100ish or more for one car. Tax is also only £5.83/ mth - is this for all cars? And fuel only £100/ mth - that doesn't equate to much mileage over 4(?) cars. Sorry if I've missed if these points have been queried before

Hopefully your food bill is reducing with half the household gone

Hang in there

x

Florence_J · 29 October 2017 at 9:49PM

Hello Plain Jane, I have read your diary from start to finish.

I first of all want to commend you on the steps you are talking and for bringing your debt battle to your daughter's attention rather than trying to hide it, this will make it so much easier.

At first I thought I wasn't going to comment. I have no children, let alone children at University, therefore I didn't think I would have anything to contribute to the situation. I also have never had even a single driving lesson so can't appreciate that cars are definitely hard to forgo when you are used to having one.

But then I decided I might be able to offer help from the point of view of your daughters.

I went to University between 2008-2011. I was lucky as grants weren't means tested then, and tuition fees were in the £3k a year category. I wish everyone could have that experience.

I was from a (very) low income household. I lived with my three brothers and we were a single parent family-being looked after by my Dad.

I can't remember if he was employed at the time of me going to University, but certainly for the vast majority of my teenage years my Dad was unemployed and we lived on benefits. Even before that we never seemed to have enough money. I will give you the abridged version of my family history which is my Mum was an alcoholic and left us (we have since formed good relationships with her) and maybe as a direct result of that or due to other factors my Dad went bankrupt.

I would never wish that poverty on anyone. I hope when I have children I can provide for them as you have done for your DD's.

But, I sometimes struggle to understand that it is common for parents to contribute to their children's University costs, as it was never even an option for me.

I was already into my student account overdraft before I started University as all the costs-computer, home ware, accommodation deposit, food-had to be funded by me. I even had to give my Dad the petrol money to drive me to my University on the first day. He would not have been able to afford to do it otherwise. It would have meant the household suffering.

My situation was an extreme, and I don't think anyone should experience it as some sort of rite of passage or development of character if an easier option is available. I will also happily state that I managed to go to University before all these horrible changes happened that drives everyone involved to heartache. There is a very strong possibility that if I was going to University now and my home situation was as it was then I might not have been able to.

I also worked two jobs for the last 18 months of my degree, which I'll admit was far too much.

What I want to say is supporting your children is lovely, and noble, and I hope to do the same when I have them. But, there are real lessons to be learnt about managing your money. I have learnt that as long as I have what I need then I really do have everything I want. You have done so much to help your daughters understand the situation and they seem to have adapted to it really well, they don't seem the least bit spoilt! But at that age we can adapt to anything, so if hard changes are going to come, I'm sure your DDs will survive. X

Plain_Jane · 30 October 2017 at 3:12PM

Thanks so much for all your replies they really do mean a lot to me and I know I should be looking at selling those darned cars!

greent - you are correct - I have realised using YNAB over the last couple of months that I am not budgeting properly. Especially on car maintenance. The 9.40 is the fee Fiat charge me for a service plan for my car. Both DT's cars have had MOT's and servicing done in the last 6 months and all have gone on the CC's - so I know that is a failing.

I will post a new SOA up at the end of December - I think I still have some work to do on the budgets and want to see our frugal Xmas out of the way.

Oh, the cars!! DT1's boyfriend sold his car to us for £1k less that he could have got for it himself for my DD as he thought it would help them when visiting each other at different Uni's. In the end, they now go to the same Uni which you would think would help but .... he is at a different campus in a different town. His parents have kindly offered to house her car so that she can see him and also come home when she needs to. This is one reason why I don't want to sell her car. Her and DT2 have always been treated the same so it wouldn't be fair (would it?) to deprive DT2 of her car. They can't use mine on my insurance as our insurance company said they had to be 30!!!!! Can I get this anywhere else I ask? I am thinking of moving to Admiral when mine runs out in April so maybe they can allow it. I have both of the DT's car with them on a multi user. DT1's car is classed as a Sport hence the high insurance. DT2 and I could share a car if it was the case that she was allowed to drive mine. I can't have hers because I ferry the Doggies around in mine and hers is tiny.

They have now told me that they will have to choose a house for next year by the end of January and have deposits ready :eek:. So double the accommodation to go out around January - I am hoping they are exaggerating.

Good news is DT2 has bagged herself a job at the W8rose supermarket in her Uni town - this is a good job with decent money so .... once her first month is over she will be sending me money to go towards her accommodation costs and I really want her to pay for her own phone - I'm not sure how much she will be earning yet.

DT1 is still looking hard - she has applied to numerous places and still awaiting answers but fingers crossed it won't be long.

Florence J - I am in awe of you. To even get to Uni after what you have been through amazes me and humbles me no end. I have taken all of your views on board. I think I get my 'helping my daughters out' mentality from not being allowed to go to Uni. My parents said no, they couldn't afford it - there were 3 of us but I was the only one who wanted to go. All my friends in my circle went and had the best experience. I am the only one who still lives within 5 miles of where I grew up. I know I still did do well but a lot of that came later in life after my children were born. If I had my chance again I would have tried my best to go and that is what my children wanted to do so I feel I have to help them.

Anyway I am ranting on and on but thanks all for your thoughts - I am working on each and every part of my budget.:D

University Challenge x 2

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