Am I Being Harrassed?
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johnsmithy
Posts: 104 Forumite
Hello,
I have recently started a temporary role through an agency at a local firm and I wanted advice as to whether or not I have been the subject of harassment at work.
On Monday, I went into work and my line manager asked me why her phone cord was tangled - I had been sat at her desk the previous Friday as that was the only free desk and her cord had become badly tangled and I did my best to untangle it. I simply said "sorry" and she said "Answer the question," which I did and she said "I don't want you to sit at my desk again." The incident did not go unnoticed and a colleague I spoke to this morning used the term 'humiliation,' which is what I was thinking.
Whilst I was on the phone, she was criticising how I described things, saying I should refer to it as equipment, even though the message was getting through and people perfectly understood what I was talking about.
Later, when I asked her what she wanted me to do and I suggested filing, she said 'yes' but she wasn't exactly friendly.
As I was doing the filing, my colleague came down and said that on manifests we work on, don't put "delivery needed," but put "delivery required."
I don't want to tar my own brush or create waves as I am not that sort of an individual but I am a sensitive individual and hate confrontation and do not want to go into work each day under a culture of a manager who creates fear amongst their staff as my line manager is not at all popular as has created issues for other members of staff.
Should I raise this with her line manager, take my manager to one side with a witness, speak to citizen's advice or leave the job and take on another assignment as I had been contacted before I begun this job about doing voluntary. I have worked hard in this last month and this has not gone unnoticed so could I potentially leave this role, put it on my CV and get some form of a reference? I know I need to man up perhaps but nevertheless, I am a sensitive individual and I do have mental health issues as well. I don't want the agency to turn around and say they don't want me anymore after being challenged on issues so trivial and petty, in my opinion. I know voluntary is not paid but I have been through a lot in the last few years to deal with this sort of thing on a regular basis and I appreciate it might be cowardly but as I explain, I am a very sensitive individual and do not like confrontation. I just want to settle this situation in an amicable way, should it become an issue.
What do you think I should do?
Thanks.
I have recently started a temporary role through an agency at a local firm and I wanted advice as to whether or not I have been the subject of harassment at work.
On Monday, I went into work and my line manager asked me why her phone cord was tangled - I had been sat at her desk the previous Friday as that was the only free desk and her cord had become badly tangled and I did my best to untangle it. I simply said "sorry" and she said "Answer the question," which I did and she said "I don't want you to sit at my desk again." The incident did not go unnoticed and a colleague I spoke to this morning used the term 'humiliation,' which is what I was thinking.
Whilst I was on the phone, she was criticising how I described things, saying I should refer to it as equipment, even though the message was getting through and people perfectly understood what I was talking about.
Later, when I asked her what she wanted me to do and I suggested filing, she said 'yes' but she wasn't exactly friendly.
As I was doing the filing, my colleague came down and said that on manifests we work on, don't put "delivery needed," but put "delivery required."
I don't want to tar my own brush or create waves as I am not that sort of an individual but I am a sensitive individual and hate confrontation and do not want to go into work each day under a culture of a manager who creates fear amongst their staff as my line manager is not at all popular as has created issues for other members of staff.
Should I raise this with her line manager, take my manager to one side with a witness, speak to citizen's advice or leave the job and take on another assignment as I had been contacted before I begun this job about doing voluntary. I have worked hard in this last month and this has not gone unnoticed so could I potentially leave this role, put it on my CV and get some form of a reference? I know I need to man up perhaps but nevertheless, I am a sensitive individual and I do have mental health issues as well. I don't want the agency to turn around and say they don't want me anymore after being challenged on issues so trivial and petty, in my opinion. I know voluntary is not paid but I have been through a lot in the last few years to deal with this sort of thing on a regular basis and I appreciate it might be cowardly but as I explain, I am a very sensitive individual and do not like confrontation. I just want to settle this situation in an amicable way, should it become an issue.
What do you think I should do?
Thanks.
0
Comments
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johnsmithy wrote: »What do you think I should do?
Develop some resilience, keep your head down while looking for another job.
Raising with her manager is unlikely to prove fruitful.Don’t be a can’t, be a can.0 -
Honestly?
I think you might need to look a little closer to home.johnsmithy wrote: »Hi
Some will know my employment history but when I had a job, I wasn't keen.
From Day 1, I had problems with a co-worker and felt that she was out to get me - she was like a hawk, watching and seeing if I was going to make mistakes, or at least that is what it felt like. When she left, I got a new supervisor and he was MUCH better and felt more relaxed and things improved. I got an oral warning after three months as well for performance. However, this improved and it was written off.
As time went on, things were fine and the system was good - no big problems.
The real troubles begun when we were forced to relocate offices - I was left in charge of a massive file structure by myself and to keep this maintained proved an unrealistic ambition. Also, the system was flawed in that it didn't allow for other tasks to be completed in a satisfactory manner, which was a shame. The vast majority of my supervisors and colleagues in the office weren't up to scratch, sadly, either. It was a bit of a joke, to be honest.
Then, we moved down to another department and when some staff moved down there, we got some new staff in and they proved to be difficult, especially one line manager. He made life very difficult for the office staff, but this was primarily down to my supervisor, who, in my opinion, may have used their medical condition to secure their role in the job - there are those who said they didn't even believe she had a medical issue. Also, my colleague in the office was unpredictable in their attitude and not always entirely trustworthy.
Eventually, they all moved on and then got in new management and colleagues. It went OK but then I was accused of something I didn't do and I went through mental distress and also suffered from a medical issue myself. At the final disciplinary, it was said categorically that even if I had done what I was accused of, it would have mattered little. However, having been through a lot of mental pressure and being treated abysmally whilst sick, I decided enough was enough and with little chance of a shocking system changing, it was time for a change so I took a leap of faith and left the position.
I did and did not regret my choice - I did 11 years for my last job which is a good innings but I knew I'd miss some of my friends as well and I did feel comfortable in my job in that I didn't feel under immediate threat of my job disappearing. However, at the same time, since day one, the job promoted problems somewhere and it came to the point where I had to make a choice between my own mental health and a job which could have further hindered it so I made the choice to move on and whilst things are difficult as I try to find a job, I am persevering.All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.
Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.0 -
It sounds like you’re making massive mountains out of little molehills.0
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What should you do? Don't be so sensitive! How difficult can it be to untangle a telephone cord assuming it was OK when you sat at the desk?
Is it unreasonable to be asked to use standard terminology?
You asked what work you should do, made a suggestion and the manager agreed. What do you want them to do - run around the office telling everybody how great you are?
If the response seems lacking in sympathy for you I make no apology for that. What has happened to you happens in offices every day. Leaving a job whenever something is said that you don't like isn't going to help.0 -
A lot of the things you mention are just people telling you "how we do things round here". Lots of places have their own ways of phrasing things and words to use, and being expected to choose them, rather than alternatives, is perfectly normal. I do think you need to just use whichever terms are preferred, rather than feeling got at because your own first choice words aren't the ones in that company's dialect.But a banker, engaged at enormous expense,Had the whole of their cash in his care.
Lewis Carroll0 -
johnsmithy wrote: »
The incident did not go unnoticed
.
Let someone else report it.
After a stressful end of day once, next day me and Manager were in a room saying sorry to each other. I think things have to blow up before they get better.0 -
I used to work somewhere where food items were produced in a factory. I couldn!!!8217;t say factory I had to say !!!8216;craft bakery!!!8217; because that sounded better. I also had to say goodbye instead of things like !!!8216;see you later!!!!8217; Because that was considered too American.
Speaking in the language they wanted me to in order to create their branding was just part of my job. If they want yoh to say equipment say equipment. Require sounds a bit more professional than !!!8216;need!!!8217; despite it being fairly close in meaning.
The tangled issue, you clearly knew it was tangled and I!!!8217;m assuming most people can sit and use a phone without it being tangled to the point of no return. I!!!8217;d probably ask you didn!!!8217;t sit at my desk again if you were incapable of not tangling a wire!0 -
Taking the above in order. If I asked a question and it wasn't answered I would ask again. I'm not sure why you didn't answer?johnsmithy wrote: »
On Monday, I went into work and my line manager asked me why her phone cord was tangled - I had been sat at her desk the previous Friday as that was the only free desk and her cord had become badly tangled and I did my best to untangle it. I simply said "sorry" and she said "Answer the question,"
Whilst I was on the phone, she was criticising how I described things, saying I should refer to it as equipment,
Later, when I asked her what she wanted me to do and I suggested filing, she said 'yes' but she wasn't exactly friendly.
As I was doing the filing, my colleague came down and said that on manifests we work on, don't put "delivery needed," but put "delivery required."
.
I agree a manager shouldn't criticise but this sounds like just saying the right terminology.
She is your manager not your friend. I think saying yes to something you have asked us fine.
Again you needed to learn the correct terminology. Now you know it you won't need to be told again.Forty and fabulous, well that's what my cards say....0 -
Are you being harassed? No, you are being managed as you appear to be an awkward and disruptive presence. You need to change your attitude, you are not doing them a favour by working there, you work in exchange for reward (money and or satisfaction), you earn respect. Phone cords do not become tangled without effort or carelessness and I'd be pee'd off if you'd sat at my desk and left it in a mess. You need to leave other people's workspace in the same or better condition than you found it. Behaviour begets behaviour.johnsmithy wrote: »Hello,
I have recently started a temporary role through an agency at a local firm and I wanted advice as to whether or not I have been the subject of harassment at work.
On Monday, I went into work and my line manager asked me why her phone cord was tangled - I had been sat at her desk the previous Friday as that was the only free desk and her cord had become badly tangled and I did my best to untangle it. I simply said "sorry" and she said "Answer the question," which I did and she said "I don't want you to sit at my desk again." The incident did not go unnoticed and a colleague I spoke to this morning used the term 'humiliation,' which is what I was thinking.
Whilst I was on the phone, she was criticising how I described things, saying I should refer to it as equipment, even though the message was getting through and people perfectly understood what I was talking about.
Later, when I asked her what she wanted me to do and I suggested filing, she said 'yes' but she wasn't exactly friendly.
As I was doing the filing, my colleague came down and said that on manifests we work on, don't put "delivery needed," but put "delivery required."
I don't want to tar my own brush or create waves as I am not that sort of an individual but I am a sensitive individual and hate confrontation and do not want to go into work each day under a culture of a manager who creates fear amongst their staff as my line manager is not at all popular as has created issues for other members of staff.
Should I raise this with her line manager, take my manager to one side with a witness, speak to citizen's advice or leave the job and take on another assignment as I had been contacted before I begun this job about doing voluntary. I have worked hard in this last month and this has not gone unnoticed so could I potentially leave this role, put it on my CV and get some form of a reference? I know I need to man up perhaps but nevertheless, I am a sensitive individual and I do have mental health issues as well. I don't want the agency to turn around and say they don't want me anymore after being challenged on issues so trivial and petty, in my opinion. I know voluntary is not paid but I have been through a lot in the last few years to deal with this sort of thing on a regular basis and I appreciate it might be cowardly but as I explain, I am a very sensitive individual and do not like confrontation. I just want to settle this situation in an amicable way, should it become an issue.
What do you think I should do?
Thanks.Originally Posted by shortcrust
"Contact the Ministry of Fairness....If sufficient evidence of unfairness is discovered you’ll get an apology, a permanent contract with backdated benefits, a ‘Let’s Make it Fair!’ tshirt and mug, and those guilty of unfairness will be sent on a Fairness Awareness course."0 -
My advice is to stay out of office politics and gossip - even if it concerns things happening to you. You're a temp and they'll move you on if you become a problem.johnsmithy wrote: »... a colleague I spoke to this morning used the term 'humiliation,' which is what I was thinking...
Sure, the manager should have handled you better regarding the telephone cord - but some of us don't like our work environment disrupted. I hate it when I've been out and I find dirty cups on my desk.
They are your customer, and the demands they are making don't seem terribly unreasonable. We've all had bosses we don't get on with. In my experience, the best solution is to focus on your work. Get your revenge by enjoying the money they pay you!0
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