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Ex Date Won't Give Me MY Money Back! Advise please
Comments
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You're not in a position to say whether I need counselling. Nor am I in a position to say what the woman who first suggested it needs, suffice to say she tells lots of people on MSE that they need counselling yet she comes across as though she's a frustrated embittered person who I would suggest needs MORE than counselling. All this rubbish about airy fairy counselling because I loaned someone money is nonsense. I'm well-adjusted, have tons of confidence, and I don't obsess over strangers posts, like some people do on here.
I asked for advice on getting money back, not advice on mental health - of which you and the other poster know nothing. I dare say you're a friend of hers,ms ticking up for her....cos few people would agree with her. It's clear she's got a chip in her shoulder about something, and likes to unleash her frustration on strangers here lol...
Once again, if you want to comment please read my posts properly, otherwise you make yourself look daft.
It didn't sink in last time so I'll try to blow your mind one more time!!
- People on this forum are giving you advice, and some of it relates to your backstory (which was unnecessary to post if you simply wanted legal advice).
- Your ex, at this moment in time, has robbed 1,400 from you!
Who is the villain here? Some stranger suggesting you MAY need counselling (like that is a big deal anyway! You are taking it in a derogatory sense, not necessarily us) or some git who has 1,400 of your hard earned cash? If I were you my energy would be focused solely on getting your money back, not arguing with people on here about the interpretation of your relationship with the ex (which you brought up by including it in your first post!).0 -
Exactly. My guess is if the OP didn't ask for the money back he would still be his charming self. Soon to be followed up by another boo hoo story can you lend me money. And another, and another.
Lucky escape if you ask me.
This. If you'd paid up without arguing this time, then you would have been asked again, and again, and again. For differing amounts I'm sure. £1400 was just a test to see what you'd do. As you (rightly) didn't want to just pay up, he's moved on to his next target already.
I'm not saying he wasn't attracted to you at all, he could well have been, but I suspect you're not the first, and won't be the last. Sorry!0 -
This is really very,very simple.
You've lent someone money.
They've not repaid you.
You've proof that the money was a loan.
You've sent him a letter before action.
If no payment is made or an arrangement to pay, follow through with MCOL
Sit back.
There's absolutely no need to tell the Court how attractive he was.
No need to tell the Court that he found you irresistible.
No need to tell the Court anything at all about the background leading up to you transferring money into his account.
He asked for a loan and he's resisting all attempts you've made to repay it. That's all they'll be interested in. Facts.0 -
moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »Whew.
I was surprised to read that comment - but I don't think that would be the way to proceed. It would lay OP open to criminal charges and NOT a good idea.
Read the second paragraph of my post, I did say ask the solicitors about the legalities.Enterprise 1701C - How do you extract money from someone's account with their bank details exactly? Would be a very popular sport if you could!
She had the correct details to pay for a ticket.What is this life if, full of care, we have no time to stand and stare0 -
You've a point there. It is cathartic. It's also enlightening, because amongst the many nice,kind, helpful members on here...there's a couple who thrive on other peoples misfortunes, and clearly gloat. I don't mind that, because I know that those particular people have sad, unhappy lives and I'm glad I help them gain a little satisfaction, albeit temporarily, in their miserable lives. After all, have you even come across a bitter hater who is happy?.......
And Yes, I'm owed £1400, and I may never see it again. Then again, I might. It's not a shattering amount of money to lose, and I'm glad I'm in the position whereby it doesn't affect my finances. It's the principle that annoys me.
Oh, I received another call today (no message) and now I'm going sunbathing in my garden and then having friends over for a late lunch. Sipping ice cold peach Bellini's made with fresh white peach juice and Prosseco, whilst sunning yourself in your new bikini as you relax in your hammock is also cathartic. Very cathartic.....
And on that note I do declare myself out!0 -
I want my money back, it's as simple as that. I'm possibly more annoyed with myself for being such an idiot, I can't think what was going through my mind when I clicked onto my bank!
Yep, I am keeping busy (can't not, actually) but every so often it pops up in my mind what an utter ask hole he is. He definitely planned to swindle me, I'm convinced of that. He planned it on the day he was flying, possibly before.
He's obviously experienced with women and knows how to turn the charm on. He should go into acting, as he can even make his eyes sparkle when he looks at you! I'm usually quick on the uptake and can spot a cheat a mile off, but I'm guilty of not listening to my instincts with this one.
Without wanting to blow my own trumpet, people tell me I am attractive, and after my divorce I've had lots of opportunities with the opposite sex. It just annoys me that I ended up fancying a nasty thing like him! You're right, I do feel rejected, and even that is weird as he was all over me like a rash at one point, and he seemed to find me attractive...(some things men can't fake, if you get my gist....) Then again, maybe he was just highly responsive.
Wow.
cornish123 wrote: »fair enough, but it does take two to tango.
convince yourself that he was a super clever, one in a million conman all you like, the reality is, he probably wasn't, probably just your average joe who was just an opportunist that seen an easy target.
If he was such a great conman, he would have taken you for a lot more than a grand or so.
It just beggars belief that someone would lend money to someone who is pretty much a complete stranger like that, I don't know anyone that would, and I know plenty of people that fall head over heals in the blink of an eye, and none would hand over a wedge of cash to their new partner.
Its like those 70 year old grannies going on holiday and bringing back a toy boy, who then takes them for everything, and they make the papers saying, I though he loved me, we were going to get married etc etc and you just read it, thinking !!!!!! was she on.
Or the people who receive letters and emails from the friendly Nigerian guy that just needs your help to gain his inheritance, you just need to give him 5k and you'll get back 10 times as much
:T:T:T
I agree. No matter what the OP says or thinks, she has been conned through and through...
Beats me why she is trying to deny it.
I mean, COME ON! She knew the guy six weeks and lent him £1400?!
What the heck???
I do find it so very hard to feel sorry for someone like this. In fact, I simply don't!This is really very,very simple.
You've lent someone money.
They've not repaid you.
You've proof that the money was a loan.
You've sent him a letter before action.
If no payment is made or an arrangement to pay, follow through with MCOL
Sit back.
There's absolutely no need to tell the Court how attractive he was.
No need to tell the Court that he found you irresistible.
No need to tell the Court anything at all about the background leading up to you transferring money into his account.
He asked for a loan and he's resisting all attempts you've made to repay it. That's all they'll be interested in. Facts.
Absolutely
I don't think I have ever seen a thread before where someone feels the need to tell everyone (constantly) how attractive and sexy and gorgeous they are :rotfl:
This thread is more entertaining than watching Eastenders. :cool:cooeeeeeeeee :j :wave:0 -
I think you may have encountered your first phsycopath relationship cycle
Idealise devalue and discard
Attractive independent smart individuals are targets
It's impossible to out wit a psychopath / sociopath
Good luck in recovering from the con and may you never experience it again0 -
use the bank details you hve and pay yourself back.....
don't tell anyone obviously....Non me fac calcitrare tuum culi0 -
Enterprise_1701C wrote: »
She had the correct details to pay for a ticket.
My point is that is not possible. You can pay someone using their sort code and account number, but you cannot remove money from their account.0 -
Unlike EastEnders there's a moral to this story. When someone asks you for a substantial amount of money after dating for one hot minute, even after the most amazing sex on the sofa, just say you don't have the money. Then think long and hard if you want to continue this relationship. In fact make it simple and don't even discuss finances after a few weeks of dating.fierystormcloud wrote: »Wow.
:T:T:T
I agree. No matter what the OP says or thinks, she has been conned through and through...
Beats me why she is trying to deny it.
I mean, COME ON! She knew the guy six weeks and lent him £1400?!
What the heck???
I do find it so very hard to feel sorry for someone like this. In fact, I simply don't!
Absolutely
I don't think I have ever seen a thread before where someone feels the need to tell everyone (constantly) how attractive and sexy and gorgeous they are :rotfl:
This thread is more entertaining than watching Eastenders. :cool:0
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