Guarantor for dd's flat

This time last year DD signed a lease towards the end of her first year of Uni, and we agreed to be guarantors. She did not complete the year, but went back to B'ham and lived with her friends, working p/t as a waitress rather than studying. She is no longer a student and is living off p/t earnings. It has been a really rubbish year for her financially, but she was determined not to come home. We have bailed her out more than once.

With rent, she set up an agreement in Jan to pay £85/week, which would pay off the back-rent owed, and keep on top of the rent, so it would finish all clear in June when she has to move out.

The landlord has phoned tonight saying that she only made 2 payments in feb, 3 in march, and none in april. As far as we knew she was on top of her rent. The amount owing has gone up to well over £1K.:eek:

We obviously need to phone and talk to her. Sadly, she has not had a LBM, and still takes pleasure in parties, shoes and clothes. She budgets down to the last hapenny and then it all goes really really wrong when she needs £1 for something. She is unlikely to listen or want to have any advice/support, other than dipping our hands in our pockets again.

Has any one been in this situation before? I'm guessing we have no option but to fork out and give lots of money to the landlord?

As well as being desparately worried about her, I'm also really, really miffed that it has taken 3 months of scrimping and saving for us to reduce our debts by £1500, and this could be taken in one go by a reckless 21 yr old. To get that much money would only mean more debt, whether by going back to the edge of our overdrafts, or cc.

Sorry for the epic - hope someone can offer some words of wisdom.
Cbm
Jan 08: Debt £15,211 :eek: Debt cleared April 30th 2010 :D
Proud to have dealt with my debt! Currently building up savings.:T
With enormous thanks to everyone on the forums and:money:
«134

Comments

  • lynsayjane
    lynsayjane Posts: 3,547
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker Xmas Saver!
    Forumite
    oh dear this is a tough one. On one hand you know she needs to learn about these things for herself, but whether you help her now or wait for it to go splat and then still have to pay the landlord as guarantor it seems your kinda stuck.
    Is there no chance she'll listen? Also if she's left uni why hasn't she gotten a full time job?

    have to say I'm not impressed, at 19 I bought my first flat and my mum went guarantor on my mortgage. Our thinking was that if there were a time I couldn't pay I'd go to her first rather than default. It's now been six and a half years, the mortgage is totally in my name now and I'm pleased to say I've never had to ask her. I may have gotten myself into a small amount of debt but my mortgage was paid on time, in full every month.
    I can't honestly believe that someone would risk their parents money like that?

    She really needs to learn the consequences of her actions and responsibility for her own life and finances. I'm sorry I can't be any more help, but if you continue to bail her out she'll continue to mess up.
  • nimbo
    nimbo Posts: 3,698
    Name Dropper First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Post
    Forumite
    We obviously need to phone and talk to her. Sadly, she has not had a LBM, and still takes pleasure in parties, shoes and clothes. She budgets down to the last hapenny and then it all goes really really wrong when she needs £1 for something. She is unlikely to listen or want to have any advice/support, other than dipping our hands in our pockets again.

    it's not a really good budget if her rent isn;t being paid...

    is there no way that she could pick some extra hours where she works to at least help you pay the money??? (not that i think you should have to pay it morally, but legally you do)...

    surely if she's so fond of clothes and shoes could you make her sell them *(non essential) at a carboot or something...

    where is she planning to go when the tenancy ends in june???? surely no landlord will want to take her on, would it help if you pointed out that she may have to move back in with you??? (not that her living with you would be bad, but after that first taste of freedom going back to my mum's was hard, i became really ungreatful:rolleyes: )

    Stashbuster - 2014 98/100 - 2015 175/200 - 2016 501 / 500 2017 - 200 / 500 2018 3 / 500
    :T:T
  • Thanks Lynsayjane, and I totally agree about her learning. We have not put cash into her hand at all since about Nov, but have paid a great chunk of rent when she was behind, so the landlord agreed to the weekly payments. In this situation though, do we have any choice (legally) but to pay up? :confused:
    (Not being totally callous we've sent her odd things as gifts, like the odd magazine. When she comes back for the weekend we feed her up.)
    The job thing is a mystery to me. I think she's quite enjoying working as a waitress, she works long evening shifts and I've no doubt the work is hard and tiring. But, it doesn't pay enough to live on really. In the grown up world, that really means that you have to look for a different job doesn't it. She doesn't seem to see it.

    We said back along that if she doesn't pay back a specific chunk of rent money that we called a loan, we would not want to be guarantor for her next place. Would that mean she's destined for the streets? What a choice.:cry:
    Jan 08: Debt £15,211 :eek: Debt cleared April 30th 2010 :D
    Proud to have dealt with my debt! Currently building up savings.:T
    With enormous thanks to everyone on the forums and:money:
  • We spoke to her last night. It felt like talking to a 13 year-old about a piece of late homework.
    The money wasn't paid because one week she cancelled the standing order as she didn't earn enough, and she hasn't been able to restore it. For 3 months. Apparently.
    She has been bubbling round the edge of her overdraft for months, with excess overdraft fees right left and centre, and we've tried to explain about opening a basic bank account and then paying off the OD from there, which is what a lot of people seem to do here, as at least that way she'd have enough to live on.
    She's working some days in a pub, and some evenings in a club.
    I'd like to say it would have been better if she'd come to us and said there were problems, but this has happened so many times over the last 3 years that it would not have been better at all really.
    She asked how much we would charge in rent if she comes back to live in June. Doesn't seem much point giving a figure as she's not going to pay it is she, especially if she has to look for a job.
    And she explained its wrong to be a scrounger and claim benefits housing or otherwise. But its fine not to have paid council tax all year. What is going on!
    Any help with errant 21yr olds that think they're teenagers?
    Cbm
    Jan 08: Debt £15,211 :eek: Debt cleared April 30th 2010 :D
    Proud to have dealt with my debt! Currently building up savings.:T
    With enormous thanks to everyone on the forums and:money:
  • barnaby-bear
    barnaby-bear Posts: 4,142 Forumite
    This time last year DD signed a lease towards the end of her first year of Uni, and we agreed to be guarantors. She did not complete the year, but went back to B'ham and lived with her friends, working p/t as a waitress rather than studying. She is no longer a student and is living off p/t earnings. It has been a really rubbish year for her financially, but she was determined not to come home. We have bailed her out more than once.

    With rent, she set up an agreement in Jan to pay £85/week, which would pay off the back-rent owed, and keep on top of the rent, so it would finish all clear in June when she has to move out.

    The landlord has phoned tonight saying that she only made 2 payments in feb, 3 in march, and none in april. As far as we knew she was on top of her rent. The amount owing has gone up to well over £1K.:eek:

    We obviously need to phone and talk to her. Sadly, she has not had a LBM, and still takes pleasure in parties, shoes and clothes. She budgets down to the last hapenny and then it all goes really really wrong when she needs £1 for something. She is unlikely to listen or want to have any advice/support, other than dipping our hands in our pockets again.

    Has any one been in this situation before? I'm guessing we have no option but to fork out and give lots of money to the landlord?

    As well as being desparately worried about her, I'm also really, really miffed that it has taken 3 months of scrimping and saving for us to reduce our debts by £1500, and this could be taken in one go by a reckless 21 yr old. To get that much money would only mean more debt, whether by going back to the edge of our overdrafts, or cc.

    Sorry for the epic - hope someone can offer some words of wisdom.
    Cbm

    If you break a contract early you are obliged to pay the rent *until* the room is re-rented (including costs of re-letting) and there's an obligation on the LL to try and find a replacement. Has your daughter done anything to readvertise the room, haven't her flatmates got a mate?
  • Keeping_Positive
    Keeping_Positive Posts: 4,750
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker PPI Party Pooper
    Forumite
    Your Daughter is 21 so I would clear the rent you will be liable for as guarantor but then leave her to her own devices (financially that is). You can only give advice and support for so long. She now needs to stand on her own two feet and hopefully the LBM will come sooner rather than later.

    You are having to deal with your own debt and as an adult now so should she.
    :j
    May 2013 new beginnings:j
  • Lucy1982_2
    Lucy1982_2 Posts: 4,611 Forumite
    When I came home from uni, I was working in a badly paid job and saving to get married the following year. BUT I still paid my Mum £50 a week towards food and the bills. It wasn't much, but I felt like I was helping.

    I still live with Mum and my rent hasn't gone up that much as she knows I am in debt. To be honest I think you would be helping her if you made her pay something towards living with you. Even if it is only £20 a week, she needs to learn that you can't live life on hand outs or for free.

    It may sound harsh, but it is a lesson she needs to learn.

    Good luck.
    Current debt - £16,300 :(
    Debt at worst 17/03/2011 - £18,067.62:eek::eek:
    :ANot going anywhere else, ever again :A
  • keeperbear
    keeperbear Posts: 293
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker Mortgage-free Glee!
    Forumite
    She is 21, not 10. She is an adult that needs to think about obtaining a degree and a decent full time job. She needs to grow up and realise that her parents will not always be there to bail her out. If you have debt, I would stop supporting her reckless behaviour and concentrate on your life first.

    Why not show her this thread?
  • floss2
    floss2 Posts: 8,030 Forumite
    Why not pay the back rent (as guarantors you would be liable for this anyway) and then say she has 2 options - get a proper job & pay proper rent AND pay you back a small sum towards her rent loans or come home & get a proper job & pay you a fair rent as a lodger AND pay back her rent loans.

    She is 21, she decided not to complete her degree (for whatever reason it isn't really relevant), and she is not thinking about her actions. Apart from anything else, she could well be in trouble with the Council if she has been claiming that she is a student when she is not, thus avoiding paying Council Tax.

    I understand how you feel, as DS1 is about to drop out of his degree & get a job. As you, I am guarantor, and I have told him he MUST get a job to cover his rent. He is taking steps to secure a job - being of degree-calibre but without the piece of paper he has already had some success with the temp agencies in Leeds where he lives.
  • Elsewhere
    Elsewhere Posts: 752 Forumite
    Did you take out insurance to cover her belongings while she was at Uni? Endsleigh is the main company who offers this, I think, and we used them for both our kids - anyhow, the insurance covered paying rent on accomodation if the child left Uni. Might be restricted to leaving on health grounds, I suppose, but worth checking anyhow if you did insure her.
This discussion has been closed.
Meet your Ambassadors

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 341.7K Banking & Borrowing
  • 249.7K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 449.1K Spending & Discounts
  • 233.8K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 606K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 172.5K Life & Family
  • 246.7K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 15.8K Discuss & Feedback
  • 15.1K Coronavirus Support Boards