can't cope with this worry

worriedgirl_2

Hello everyone, I'm quite new here and really need some advice if possible. Firstly, I'm sorry that my problems are quite trivial compared to many of the people posting here - I hope someone may be able to help me all the same! Basically, the reason for my problems is that I've suffered with fairly severe depression on and off for about 10 years now (I'm 30). Last year was a particularly bad year for me, and I got to the stage of not opening the post, answering the phone etc for a few months. The upshot of this is that I have a number of late credit card payments listed on my credit report, plus 2 default notices (relating to utility bills rather than credit agreements).

Although I've worked through the reasons I was feeling so down last year and am feeling much better about them, this problem on my credit record is now making me feel constantly sick with anxiety - I can't think about anything else. Ironically enough I have a fairly good job and am not short of money but I feel like I've totally destroyed my chances of getting a mortgage for 6 years now. I've (finally!) met a nice man a few months ago, but that is actually making me worse - I just keep reminding myself that if things do work out between us and we come to look at buying a house together in a couple of years we will probably be rejected because of my credit history, and that will ruin things between us.

Can anyone advise anything at all I can do to increase my chances of getting a mortgage when the time comes? Up until last year I had an unblemished credit rating. I'm now back to paying everything on time and have a substantial deposit but I know these defaults will ruin things for 6 years.

Please help me, I just don't feel like I can go on with this level of worry. It's getting to the stage where I can't think straight at work and it's affecting my performance.

Thank you for listening.

Scousebird_2

I can relate to your anxiety as I have sufferred from it myself and people may think on here that you are worrying over something trivial but I know how much something like this can cause you stress and control your thoughs and emotions. Ok, so you made a mistake and missed a few payments. Have you got a copy of your credit file? What exactly is showing as missed? Are the accounts straight now??

Stop worrying about things that you can't control-again, I know it is easier said than done but there is nothing you can do and it's only going to make your health worse if you continue to worry about it, and why undo all the hard work you have put in to get better.

Move on from things, and in 3 years, even if a lender does see that you have missed a few payments-they are not defaults, you have not been given a CCJ or entered into an IVA or Bankruptcy so a few missed payments may not mean you get declined outright.

My partner has missed a few payments over the past few years and he has just joined the same bank as me and got offered allsorts so don't keep worrying over this as there is nothing you can do to change it and it really isn't as bad as it seems, you aren't going to change your train of thought until you get control of the anxiety so get up, go get something to treat yourself, relax and forget about things, even if it's just for a few hours-put all your thoughts causing your anxiety into a 'mental bin' as I call it and chill out before you feel worse at you end up back where you started. Coming from someone who's been in your situation...take my advice if you think it will help

Ian_Griffiths_Halifax

First of all, you don't need to tell your partner about your financial history right now. It's probably a bit too early in your relationship and any suggestion of you both getting a mortgage together, whether now or in the future, might put him off as he may think you are jumping the gun when all you want to do is come clean.

Wait until you've been together some time and then when the time is right you can let him know in casual conversation that you've had a couple of defaults in the past, then when you do get round to the subject of mortgages it won't come as a shock.

You say you're not short of money, so open a savings account and put money away on a regular basis. There nothing like seeing your balance go up to cheer you up. Then you'll be in a better position to put a bigger deposit down and keep your interest rate down.

When you do get to the point of looking for a house, a number of lenders ignore defaults. If you can show that you've avoided defaults for a few years, even the ones who don't ignore them will be more likely to look at you if they can see that you've sorted your finances out and made savings as well.

Many lenders do credit scoring and so your combined situation and good points, eg good income, stable employment, decent position at work, proof of residency via the electoral role etc, may give you enough points to wipe out the bad points, historic defaults and late payments.

Keep your chin up and put your credit cards onto minimum payment plus a bit more, to get them down. By putting them on Direct Debit, you aren't going to miss the payment date unless there is no money in your account and that way you'll be reducing your debt while keeping up to date.

Oh, and stop using Credit Cards.

Keep your chin up.

UK007BullDog

If you are now back up to date then you are fine. In a couple of years time (even next year depending on how this credit crunch develops) when you want to buy it should not be a problem.

Good luck!

worriedgirl_2

Thank you so much Scousebird, that's actually made me feel better! I've taken your advice and reached for the wine and chocolate biscuits (it's only 6 but what the hell!)

I've got my credit report from Experian and it shows the late credit card payments (none more than 1 month late) but doesn't show the gas and electric defaults. I'm assuming this means that my supplier only reports to Equifax as their letters definitely said that the default would affect my credit rating so they must have reported it to somone. I've applied for my Equifax report anyway, just waiting for it to arrive.

I know I shouldn't worry so much about things I can't change, I just can't seem to help it! If you have any more worry saving tips please let me know (although knowing me I'll then just find something else to worry myself sick over).

x

worriedgirl_2

OK, was just typing a long response to Scousebird when Bulldog and Ian replied!

Thanks so much for reassuring me, I did't think I'd get so many responses so quickly!

Ian, thanks for the advice. I think I will go with your opinion and not tell my boyfriend about my issues for a good while yet - even if things do work out I'm sure it will be a couple of years before we start to have joint finances.

I have now paid off all my credit cards and have around £15k of savings, which I'm aiming to double by the time I apply for a mortgage. It's a huge relief to hear someone who obviously knows the market tell me that things aren't as bad as I've worried. My plan for the next 2 years is to contine spending small amounts on my credit cards and paying them off in full every month as I've heard this can improve your credit rating. I'm also going to make sure I don't move during that period (being a renter I've had a few addresses over the years). Is there anything else I should do to improve my rating?

Thank you :T

zarazara

chinup worriedgirl, I wish I had £15,000 savings.
my total savings = £200.
your doing better than me.

worriedgirl_2

chinup worriedgirl, I wish I had £15,000 savings.
my total savings = £200.
your doing better than me.





Thanks, that made me smile! I know it sounds like my situation isn't too bad with a decent job and some savings - I think in some ways that's what makes me even more angry with myself, I could have paid the outstanding bills at any time, I was just trying to avoid life last year (including bills!).

I think my savings are a credit to my northern upbringing lol - I can't buy anything without feeling guilty!

Ian_Griffiths_Halifax

worriedgirl wrote: »

OK, was just typing a long response to Scousebird when Bulldog and Ian replied!

Thanks so much for reassuring me, I did't think I'd get so many responses so quickly!

Ian, thanks for the advice. I think I will go with your opinion and not tell my boyfriend about my issues for a good while yet - even if things do work out I'm sure it will be a couple of years before we start to have joint finances.

I have now paid off all my credit cards and have around £15k of savings, which I'm aiming to double by the time I apply for a mortgage. It's a huge relief to hear someone who obviously knows the market tell me that things aren't as bad as I've worried. My plan for the next 2 years is to contine spending small amounts on my credit cards and paying them off in full every month as I've heard this can improve your credit rating. I'm also going to make sure I don't move during that period (being a renter I've had a few addresses over the years). Is there anything else I should do to improve my rating?

Thank you :T

If you've nothing outstanding on your credit card then that's great. Well done :T .

Keep paying them off each month and I'm sure you'll be fine sooner rather than later, as UK007BULLDOG has said.

Make sure you are on the Electoral Roll, and make sure that if you move again before you buy that you go on the Electoral Roll at your new house as soon as possible.

Keep your Credit Card Statements and Bank Statements as these can be used as proof of residence, and keep your Gar, Electric, Council Tax and Water Rates too. I know that many people like to shred them due to ID fraud, but you could buy your self a safe. It all helps if you have an incompetent Council (who doesn't) or if your Council don't update the Electoral Roll regularly, as there may be gaps in your registrations.

Not many people are in as good a position as you to be honest. It's just your depression that's got you in this state. The best cure for depression is Chocolate.

chocolatebutton

Ian_Griffiths_Halifax wrote: »

The best cure for depression is Chocolate.

Did someone call?

Seriously, worriedgirl, I think you are worrying too much. I agree with Ian Griffiths Halifax - it's just your mental state which is making you worry.

According to my DH, one way to improve your credit rating is to buy something on credit card and NOT pay it all off in the first month. I would suggest that you put something like your supermarket shopping on the card, and pay it all off except £10, then clear the £10 the following month. This will cost you interest of course, but is worth it to show them you are a really reliable person, and bump up your rating a few points.

10past6

Hi worriedgirl :hello:

I'm pleased to see you're a little more settled than you was earlier.

See, we don't bite :dance: