Help....i'm in such a mess

Keeping_Motivated

Hi I am so sorry that you find yourself in this situation and I can't really add anymore than has already been posted but I am wondering if after that private counselling and gambling anonymous if you have got to any root cause for the gambling?

jet77

Just bumping this one back up

stupidsusie

I just wanted to say a huge thank you for all your support, and to answer the questions you've asked....

Re: getting advice, i have spoken to Payplan who I think are going to help me try to negotiate a temporary token payment arrangement with my creditors. I've phoned some of the other agencies too and had mixed experiences, Gamcare suggested the Insolvency Helpline - anyone know whether they are good?

Re: selling my house, if it had any equity I would definitely do this. Although I guess if I do sell / get repossessed at least it gets everything 'done' in one go and I can make a clear start with much lower living costs by renting something small.

Re: moving in with family, I know my sisters would put me up in the short term, but they both live several hours away (and yes they are brilliant). My Mum has just moved into sheltered accommodation following my Dad's move to the care home, so that's not an option. On the upside though I have been so worried about my Mum, living alone and miserable. But she seems to be really picking up now and the place she is living is lovely, she's surrounded by people her own age and is safe.

Re: getting the gambling sorted, the fact that I will be fine for ages and then suddenly go barking mad just terrifies me. All i know is I use gambling to block out feelings - like this time when I had to tell dad he was never coming home - and then once i've started I can't stop. I am going back to GA this week, and also to see my GP. I'm going to try to get all the help I can.

Re: mortgage insurance payments, in theory they will pay for up to 2 years, but since i am able to work i suspect they won't be too happy about it, and anyway it doesn't feel right to be off work so long. And practically if you include the secured loan payment the insurance doesn't cover all my mortgage anyway.

I will post a detailed SOA in a minute! Thanks again to everyone.

stupidsusie

Hi, this is where I am...

Mortgage = 1,400
SL = 915
House insurance = 76
Council tax = 90
Mortgage payment policy = 119
Car insurance = 44
Car tax / MOT = 30
Gas = 95
Electric = 33
Water = 20
BT = 40
TV Licence = 12
Virgin including broadband = 30
Mobile = 30 (will be cancelling at end of contract in May)
Union subs = 10
Petrol / travel = 100
groceries = 175
hairdresser = 30
housekeeping / maintenance = 100
medical = 25
clothes and dry cleaning = 50
social = 25
contingencies = 50
token payments of £5 to each creditor if agreed = 40

A total of 3,514

Income = 2,255 per month

Shortfall = 1,259 per month

With the £5,000 I have in the bank plus car sale proceeds of £10,000 this can be sustained for a while but it's only stalling the inevitable I guess, unless I get a very well paid job very quickly.

As I mentioned, my only hope of avoiding BR from what I can see is if I get the settlement from my previous employer. Does anyone know what kind of lump sum figure might work in an IVA situation (unsecured debts just over £100,000).

All advice gratefully accepted! SS xxx

Keeping_Motivated

So you pay £1500 for your mortgage with the protection? How much would rent be if you sold it?

Your house insurance is very high have you looked at a comparison site for this? Mine is £25 and that seems expensive to what some get if for on here but I'm happy with it and the level of cover. Also go through Quidco if you take out any new insurances there is cash back to be had.

House keeping £100 whats this? Plus £50 contingencies whats this?

stupidsusie

I've had a look at rented propery in my area and a one bed flat is anything from 500 to 2000 per month. Let's say 700 for something OK but not posh.

The housekeeping / maintenance is based on my experience of stuff going wrong in the house - for example I have a day's worth of work for an electrician piled up which will cost a few hundred pounds - plus essential maintenance, for example I have a cellar with a pump needing annual maintenance (cost around £200 per time).

The contingency is for things like the boiler breaking (happened both winters i've been here) and other essential emergencies.

Let me know if i've overestimated, i'm trying to get the balance between ensuring I have enough money to cover unexpected problems and reducing outgoings as much as possible.

Keeping_Motivated

So you could 'free up' around £950 per mth (inc maintenance and contingencies) if you rented? That would be alot of money towards the shortfall? Maybe worth some thought?

cantcope

Hi,

As a self confessed gambler on here I hope i can offer some support. Are you still attending GA? and seeing the counsellor? if you are gambling online i would hope that you have now put all the blocks possible on your PC. GA Should have advised you to do this.

From your SOA a few things stand out

Do you live alone? If so, your grocery bill seems extortianate. I could do my groceries for a month for a quarter of that. Get on the Old Style Board for some great tips.

Hairdresser/Clothes and dry cleaning have to go. These are not necessities. Try and get a haircut cheaper somewhere or go to a model night at a local college.

Your Electric and gas comes to more than your council tax. Is this correct?

What's SL? I really hope it's not Social life.

Lastly, if you are serious about stopping gambling, you will. It's not easy so use the support of your group, and when you are down, talk to them!
Things do get better. I thought my life was over 2 years ago but its just starting again now.

Good luck

fermi

cantcope wrote: »

What's SL? I really hope it's not Social life.

SL = "Secured Loan" I presume.

stupidsusie

Thanks for all the comments on the SOA....

Don't worry the SL is 'secured loan' - i've put £25 per month in for social life!

On the groceries....i've included costs of cleaning stuff, essentials such as toothpaste etc etc in there as well. You are right though it probably could be reduced, apparently the debt agencies have a recommended figure for this for a single person, about £35-40 per week I thought? Happy to be corrected though.....

Sadly the gas and electric are correct. The more I think about my house, the more I realise it's not just the mortgage costs that are hideous, it's all the extra charges (maintenance, heating etc). It's a large Victorian terrace if that helps explain things.

Understand your points re: hairdressing and clothes, only problem with hairdressing is my hair is not my natural colour and I worry that if turn up at interviews with two inches of roots showing i'm not going to get a job anytime soon! My 'usual' salon (mid range for my town) costs £100 every 8-10 weeks, so the figure i've put in represents a much cheaper cut and me doing my own colour. Still, might be able to reduce it to say £20 per month with your suggestions. The dry cleaning is for my business suits.....not essential now but will be when I am back at work. Clothes could be cut back to total essentials, which is really tights (for work), at least for a good while when basics will need replacing.

As for the gambling, ironically I was paying the counsellor privately when I was working, but stopped when I was made redundant to save money (oh what a costly mistake that was). I'm going back to GA and seeing my GP this week to see if there is any free counselling available. I've also asked Gamcare about local gambling counselling.

It's good to hear from another gambler - not that i'd wish this horrible illness on anyone. I'm glad things are good for you again, it also gives me hope for the future.

xxx