Oops! I've fallen off the OS wagon.....

mollymunchkin

Regarding your toddler pulling out plugs you could try this

http://www.clippasafe.co.uk/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=1_3&products_id=16&zenid=3a2599cae44be78d246f616c0b970ec2

Churchmouse

mollymunchkin, you're a star!!!:D

Will be on the 'phone to DIL first thing tomorrow. Good price and will stop DGS from unplugging everything in sight!:rotfl:

buxtonrabbitgreen

I know what you mean lilibet. Christmas is like that for me. I remember the year before last heving somthing to go to every single day in December so last year turned down most invitations. Although I get up at the ceack of dawn to work I can get stuff sone in the afternoon, after a sleep, but mostly I wait till my long weekend off once a fortnight and have a plan to do baking cleaning ironing bedmaking etc. If I can set aside a day when I know I will be able to do stuff I find it easier to ignore the mess etc the rest of the time. Well it works for me.

donny-gal

Sorry Lillibet only read the front end of this, but what about DH?

You are doing a full time job looking after a 2 year old, and a part time job. The additional job - "THE HOUSE" and all the task inside need to be shared. If you are doing 1.5 jobs already he shouldn't be coming home and expecting everything done for him. Maybe I am accusing wrongly, but seriously looking after your child (the one belonging to both of you) is a job it its own right at 2. Give him tasks which are his, washing pots/loading dishwasher, loading washer, childminding DS for one hour immediately he comes home so you can have a break and recover.
Sharing is part of the answer. Don't get jealous of the time DH spends with DS, it is important, if you were to fall really ill or have another, they need to have a bond. The bedtime routine in our house was DH's, as had to go away from time to time and had to have a routine which did not disrupt my DS. They always accept Mum as a substitute and a treat, but not always the other way round.

Look after yourself.
DG

Shortie

Hi Lillibet :grouphug:

I'm sure some of what I'll suggest may be totally unsuitable, I've always been a fulltime working Mum so have never managed to get used to organising my time at home etc, etc and then having a sudden change (..... my messy house is a testiment to this :rotfl: )

I'm a list-lover, but my Dad said something the other day that made me chuckle - the first thing on every to do list should be "write to-do list". That way when you've finished your list, you can scrub the first thing off and feel like you've achieved at least on thing

A couple of thoughts:

Please don't be hard on yourself, it happens to the best of us. I'm often totally stressed out that I'm not SuperWoman with working and keeping the house tidy and under budget. I'm also a Virgo - I never used to really believe that your signs dicatated your nature, as by nature I'm not your typical tidy Virgo, BUT I also can't stand asking for help and when I do I double check what's been done anyway :rolleyes:

The alarms/wake up calls - neither of us have one, we use our mobiles. As long as there's charge on it, it'll go off and wake you up. No risk of it being unplugged/power cuts etc

Evening meals: I know you're already clued up with meal planning so I'm not going to teach you to suck eggs here. BUT, when I've felt like I've not got time to be organised, I sit down one evening and meal plan for the week ahead (normally do this on a Friday as DH, DS and I can then go out first thing Saturday to buy in what we need). I don't say what day we'll eat it, just 7 meals. Then in the morning or night before (which ever is more convenient) I pick something off the list (or just close my eyes and point :rotfl: ) and it gets taken out to defrost for that night. If we dont' fancy it, tough.... it's eaten - it fills a hole and at least it's not expensive take out.

Tidy: Totally agree to make the bedroom your first place to tidy. If it's that bad/time's that tight have you got some space you can stuff black bags of 'bits' into? This is our favourite trick - if it's too bad or just not enough time it goes into a black bag that is hidden somewhere to be dealt with when we have time. Hey presto, a tidy looking room, though there's always the niggle that it's lurking around for you still...

Ironing: What's that? :rotfl: Since owning my own home I haven't ironed more than a handful of times. I kn ow hwo to perfectly well and used to enjoy it in fact, but working full time means ironing was the first thing to stop. I simply fold carefully as soon as it's off the line/radiator/tumble dryer. It doesn't work for all clothing, granted, but I certainly hardly ever iron that's for sure

Shopping: You've already said you used to do this so might go back to doing it. I'd recomend it. DH and I find Mr T is a time machine in reverse and we seem to 'lose' a couple of hours each trip in there. Goodness knows how. I now do online shops when I've either got a 1000 pointer code to use, or not enough time. As I'm sure you know the first few take a bit longer while you search for your stuff, but then your 'Favourites' list builds up and it gets quicker and quicker. ALSO..... when you're at home doing the online shop, you can quickly put the WM on second spin / stuff it in the tumble or on the line / man dinner in the oven....... I also find it helps me budget better as I'm not tempted by Mags or clothes, I don't get stressed out with trolley rage (oooohhhh yes, I suffer trolley rage) and don't have to pack the bags and lug it home. Okay you stil have to unpack it but you can't win 'em all

Me Time: This depends entirely on what you like to do.... Now I can't just sit still (unless I'm cross stitching or card making which I never get time for) and get ants in my pants as there's always some silly house job that needs to be done. For me, me time is (believe it or not) a good traipse round the local market doing a food shop. Now, I do this with DH and DS in tow, but then I'm not trying to escape them in my "me time" but trying to escape the mess of my house. I love the market as I get to choose the fruit and veg I want, go to our proper local butchers and have a good nose (and they don't laugh at me for not knowing my a* from my elbow when it comes to cuts of meat) and I find it a really fun challenge to seek out the best bargains. When I get home and unpack it all I'm then also really pleased with myself to realise I've saved loads on what I would have spent on Mr T equivalent.
I'm not saying going to the market is what you want to class as "Me Time", just that it can sometimes be something completely against the norm of a Bath or Manicure and can also be something that gets another job done too (i.e in my case the fresh food shop)

Baking: What's that? :rotfl: I'd love to make my own bread and cakes but simply don't find the time. It used to bug me but I realised I needed to prioritise other things first. I now have a 'fun bake' when I have time off. Like this week - I've had it off to tidy ready for the 'new arrival' in August and have cooked 2 banana loaves this week. Okay.... hardly going to fill the shelves of Mr T and a p* easy recipie, but it meant I had a chance to for the first time in ages

I'm sure that as little bits fall slowly back into place it'll be like a avalanch where other things naturally fall in line too without you even noticing

Penny-Pincher!!

Hey Hun

Wondered how you were doing and thats great news about your new job...well done:T

TBH, I would just do tiny steps. I think these are things I I would do:

Write a list of all meals you all like
Each evening, make sure you pull out the freezer what you need for next days meals (if not in the fridge)
Would be easier if you did a list of food you have in and do the 2 above things
Online shopping would be able to make things easier for you ATM (dont forget voucher codes)
Just do a quick 20 min whip around with the cleaning/tidying. On bad days for me, I just try and make sure the kitchen and lounge is ok, but then I dont have a toddler and can remember the mess that follows them:D You will be surprised what you can do in 20 mins. Load the DW, put the WM on, quick flick with duster, clear sides etc etc.
Only iron what you have too. If there is stuff that needs doing, try and do just 5/10 items at a time, you will be surpeised how much you can get done.

Huge Hugs

PP
xx

Lillibet_2

Thank you everyone, I know in my heart that you are all right & I shoule let go & take baby steps & see each tiny acheivement as worthy of a carnival, but the Monica in me is still shouting you all down:o I went to bed early last night saying "tomorrow will be a new day", then slept for less than 4 hours (admitedly not helped by hubby opening his birthday cards at 4am:rolleyes:) and now feel like it's still yesterday & I am not going to get anywhere again:mad: Well, actually I have got somewhere, I ran the WM overnight & have pegged it out this morning. Just another 3 or 4 loads to go to clear the back log....:p.
Todays plan of action is :
Load WM again.
Go to tescos & buy cake for this afternoon (friend & 3YO visiting), I would normally make a cake or biscuits but I think even a simple weetabix cake is beyond me at the mo, plus buy a couple of ready meals(:eek:) for tonight.
This evening I am going to do something resembling a meal plan so that I can go & do a proper shop tomorrow morning. Hubby & I are going to the cinema tomorrow afternoon (HP:D) and best friend is comming to baby sit & for dinner, however she has just turned Vegan...VEGAN for crying out loud!:eek: I cannot for the life of me think of anything vegan which I can buy ready made or do in the SC so have settled on HM pizza followed by fruit crumble & sorbet, unless anyone has any better suggestions?

Food for nights I am working is generally something I can throw in the SC as I get home famished at about 8pm. Need to get a bit more organized about what we are going to eat on the nights I am not working!

Wish I could rely on hubby a bit more, he tends to come home from work & take over with Spud but lately he has been as shattered as me, and watching Spud & feeding & bathing him is about as much as I can get him to do these days : yesterday he actually fell asleep just after getting Spud up from his nap, the result was devestation all round apparently! Hubby had tidied up everywhere obvious but hadn't clocked that Spud had also "hurricaned" our bedroom, when I went to go to bed I had to spend 40 minutes finding the floor first:mad:
Hubby has, of course, perfect the art of all men and teenagers, of whenever I ask him to do something house-work related he whines, moans & kicks up a huge fuss about it then 4 days later does it & makes a pigs ear of it & I have turned into a nagging witch in the mean time. So most of the time I just jump right in & do it myself in the first place for a quiet life. Anyone got any bright ideas on how to combat this?

boo81

Exactly the same with my bf but he has improved after me completely losing it a few times. We sat down and discussed how we should share things and also be honest, I would rather he said im not in the mood for doing the washing up rather than make a pigs ear of it. Since then he has made a real effort and even cooked some meals for me but I know the "talking" wont work with a lot of guys.

I suggested a chore list for each person then they can see how much you do and how much they do and hopefully they will feel guilty enough to do something.

We dedicate a few hours a week and set ourselves tasks, normally he irons our clothes and does the hoovering and some tidying. I do some tidying and sort the kitchen and bathroom out.

Nicki

Have you ever been depressed? Do you think you may be at risk of becoming so? I developed PND very late after the birth of my second child which coincided with going back to work and the extra pressures that brought, and much of what you posted, particularly the insomnia, the inability to keep up with normal routines and the obsessive worrying about the children's safety sound very familiar.

I strongly believe that caught early enough it is possible to ward off a full blown bout of depression, so if you think that this is a possibility, I would recommend that you take some time out to be particularly kind to yourself, maybe take some supplements to boost your health, and see if you could have a weekend away to see if you sleep a bit better when removed from all your responsibilities. I wouldn't recommend necessarily going straight to anti-depressants and sleeping pills though these things have their place when the illnes becomes entrenched.

Apologies if this is way off base. Hope you are feeling better soon

verynewmoneysaver

I think you are expecting too much of yourself. When you work part-time with a toddler it makes a huge difference to what you can do at home, and of course you will not be able to be as OS as you were before. Take shortcuts without feeling guilty, even pay someone to do the ironing if it gives you more time for yourself. Your own and your family's health and relationships are much more important than being OS all the time.