Oops! I've fallen off the OS wagon.....

daisyroots_2

Lilibet, you will have gathered by now that almost every woman who has worked outside the home and then become a full time housewife-and-muvver finds the transition difficult. One reason it's difficult is that to those who do not know, it seems like a pushover. At last you have time for everything, you are in control of your own agenda, you make the rules. Hah!

You're doing fine - hope you had a satisfying little sleep there - all the advice sounds good to me, but esp. the bedroom clearing one. Here's my penn'orth.

Write a MODEST list each evening of what you would like to achieve the following day. Break tasks down into smaller units if you can. As you achieve each item, cross it off. The point is, it is easy to get sidetracked into doing stuff you didn't plan, the list will keep you focussed. Also, it's a satisfying reminder of what you really have achieved, sometimes you can feel that you've done absolutely nothing all day, when actually this is not true, the list is evidence. You can casually leave it around for OH to glance at, maybe.

Finally, as you compile your list, promise yourself that if you complete it, you will consider your day a complete success. If you don't complete everything, just bung the old stuff onto the next days list. If something's been on the list for over a week, scrap it.

The truth is, most of us are muddling through most of the time. We all appear far more super and whizzy to others than we really are. I bet there are people who think you are Mrs Perfect Housewife. Really

thriftlady_2

Hi Lillibet,
I was wondering where you'd got to as well
I haven't worked since I had my George 12 years ago this Saturday and I have nothing but admiration for any mother who works even part-time and does all those OS things I do. If I worked I simply couldn't bake 8 loaves of bread a week, make jam like I did yesterday, make stock after every roast chicken meal, batch cook for the freezer, keep my kids supplied with muffins and other homebaked goodies and shop at farmshops when they're nice and quiet. Something would have to go. My kids are all at school btw heaven knows how I'd manage working, OSing with toddlers underfoot.

Don't beat yourself up, take it one step at a time, set achievable targets.

Btw have you found the time to read HP and the Deathly Hallows yet ? I've read it, so if you want to pm me with your post Potter thoughts feel free:)

lil_me

One step at a time, could have written what you have (work is voluntary unfortunately) a couple of weeks ago. I've started setting myself much smaller targets. You'll get there eventually, I know you will, keep smiling, you're doing great.

With the plugs, my parents had ones similar to plug locks posted when I was little as I was a devil for unplugging everything. I nearly got them for DS2 as he has had a wires thing since he could move, I moved a lot of furniture so it covered where the sockets were instead, he does now he's bigger sometimes manage to get them but at the minute he seems to be behaving (he's 6)

dolly_day_dream

Lillibet don't you dare beat yourself up over this. Despite having never met you in real life you are someone I would be proud to know. Your posts are relevant and sensible and show you have a fantastic attitude towards life. We all have our blips - she says surrounded by piles and piles of paper! Not being perfect is what makes us bearable.

Don't know if this will help or not but some friends of mine were talking at the weekend about the socket problem. One of them took all of their extension leads into the garden and a whole load of electrical things. Their child was allowed to plug in as many times as they wanted. As they weren't connected all was safe. It took a short while but because they were not being told no all the time the fun went out of it and they stopped doing it. Apart from that I would put gaffer tape over the plugs so that they could not be taken out.

overlykeensaver

I have recently gone back to work three days a week after 12 months maternity leave and it has been a bit of a shock ie not being able to put the washing on for those days and so on.

One thing that has really helped is that we don't cook on the days that we both work. We do a bit of a batch cook every now and then (or make extra of an actual meal) so Monday - Wednesday is just " pull a bag of HM food out of the freezer" - usually things like chilli, spag bol, chicken casserole - whatever suits you really.

I echo Aril's tip about setting up the washing machine with clothes and powder before you go to bed. DH gets up before me, so on Thurs and Fri all he has to do is turn it on and I can feed my baby in peace but also with a lovely feeling that things are under control because my washing is on. (feeling doesn't last that long but you know what i mean!)

Something we also do each night, is lay out our breakfast things - it is only bowls, spoons and boxes of cereal but for some reason, it helps getting ready in the morning to be a little easier.

Hope this helps a little- remember you can't do everything! Especially with a toddler! Just try to do a little something every day. When I am at home with my DS I aim for one thing in the morning and one in the afternoon. Even if that one thing is matching a few socks!

csarinaknight

Lillibet......give yourself a break for heavens sake, take baby steps, set yourself one job a day and do not beat yourself up if you do not get it done.

A warm bath and a glass of milk and honey before you go to bed should help you to relax, I use a lavender rub about 20 drops of lavender oil in a small unscented baby lotion, shake it well to mix the oil into the lotion, massage some into your feet and across your forehead and then into your hands it will help.

Your Mum wants a party for spud, so let her get on with it. if you can batch cook, so the days you are working you can just pull a meal out of the freezer, above all take some time for yourself, also when you are working try and take a nap when Spud is asleep, even if its only for 15 minutes, it will help to restore your energy levels. Have you thought you might me anaemic?????? that could account for your low energy level.

Lyndsay_21

hey lillibet whereabouts in surrey are you i live there too maybe we could have a day of each others children to get some stuff done LOL

in reality just do what you can when you can also if you are having trouble sleeping go to bed as early as you can even if its just to read as at least your giving your body a rest.

Gingham_Ribbon

Lillibet it's good to see you here!

I was having trouble sleeping for a while. Something that can help is to keep a book to write down everything you need to do. I have an A4 book with the date at the top of a page to write everything in. I put everything I can think of down including things I know I will have to do soon but don't need to do straight away - then I number then in priority order. At the end of the day I cross off what I've managed to do and copy the list in the next day, adding anything extra.

The list might be:

Make dental appointments for everyone.
Clean oven.
Take library books back.
Make hobnobs.
Phone MIL
Arrange night out with the girls.
Use credit card in time to get free stuff

etc...totally random as I'm thinking of it. I dont' bother with things I do every day like make dinner, take kids to park or whatever.

I then don't lie awake thinking 'must remember to...' and it makes my head a little less busy. It doesn't always work and I only do it when I have a period of insomnia but it can help.

Softstuff

Hi Lillibet,

You're doing great as it is, much better than I would in your position. And you're not superhuman, you're not capable of being switched on and working 24/7.

I would disagree from those who suggested doing your shopping online. I'd say do it in an evening at a large supermarket with someone taking care of the little one, and take a little longer over it, with a nice cup of coffee and slice of cake. Might just be a bit of time out for you.

Though if the advice of taking it easy and relaxing is as hard for you to take as it is for me to take, you're going to still be kicking yourself! I work over full time hours at present, got roped in to a meeting the other night that didn't finish till 10pm, then ended up at a body corporate meeting on my day off.... and I still kicked myself that I hadn't done enough baking and cleaning

scooterwife

Just another message to say don't try to be superwoman - we all think other people manage far better than us - I had a friend who i envied as her house was always lovely & tidy and found out loads later that she always envied me because my house was 'lived in':rotfl: So just do what you can and don't forget that little ones often like to help - its not work to them - so if you feel like dusting (:rotfl: !) give him a duster and let him help - you get a bit of dusting done, he gets a bit of 1-2-1 time, everybodys happy. Same with washing up and stuff (washes the floor as well though usually) and sorting socks (also useful for developing sorting skills and observation so you are educating him as well!)
good luck