I've been so stupid

Floss

I'm pleased to read that your husband is supporting you, that is a big positive for you to get past this.

Also, maybe think about talking to your GP, if only to discuss the help that antidepressants could provide. 

plu

Well done for acknowledging, and addressing the problem. Wrt gambling, this may not help but:the quatloos site simply explains how casinos work, and how the odds grind down the punters. If you play a game with a 5% take for the house after 100 plays YOU CANNOT WIN. The more the house edge, the fewer the plays required until the gambler cannot win, (Fruit machines take much more than 5% I think...) https://www.quatloos.com/quatloosia-goodlife/gamble2.htm

A detailed look at casinos (and Vegas) is Addiction by Design by Natasha Dow Schüll - an (expensive) non-fiction book that brutally examines how machine gambling games  - and their environments - are designed and created (by talented and well-paid engineers) to turn humans into addicts. It is a sobering read.

As someone who played fruit machines when younger, I can now see how the displays and payouts are designed to pretend they are games of chance, and to keep one hooked. When a chip inside simply calculates results that enable the house take.

You are not alone, by any means, to have been affected by the gambling "industry"

kezzygirl

Thanks for all of your responses, I'm feeling a little better but still kicking myself over the money. Roll on the 25th...its been a long month for all of us

Andyjflet

I also think you could turn debt payoff into a new habit and get a "high" from seeing those balances drop, even if youre sending a few pounds here and there. 
Read "Atomic Habits" great book, you could turn the habit of gambling into a trigger habit for debt clearing. Similar actions, log on, pay some off, get high at seeing the balance drop, feel positive, do it again...........

I read in this book that the dopamine rush from addicts is the thought and getting close to doing the habitual act, so a Cocaine addict would get the rush when seeing the white powder, a drink addict would get the rush when ordering a drink or pouring a drink, after this point its auto behaviour and then regret, disgust etc, this then drives you into doing it again to boost the crash with a new dopamine hit. 

EssexHebridean

I'd suggest considering starting a diary on the DFW Diaries board on here too - you might find both the accountability (to yourself, first and foremost) and the fact that you will gain a "cheer squad" to will you on and offer support when things get tough really helpful. 

enthusiasticsaver

Well done on admitting the problem and I would also say stopping the gambling is your best chance of getting your finances sorted.  You do not say how much the debts are but that you and your husband are able to pay them.  The gambling is possibly like other addictive habits in that you do it maybe when you are bored and also with the hope you may win.  I would agree that is extremely unlikely to happen so finding another pastime would be better for you.  I am glad your husband is being supportive.  

From the sound of it you have been good at budgeting in the past so my suggestion is you sort out a spreadsheet with a budget, allocate your money each month and live without credit for a while and seek support for the gambling habit. You may find that paying off the debt becomes addictive instead. 

Martico

Nothing to add to the warm and good advice above, other than to say that - even on an anonymous site such as this one - your total openness in sharing the issue is pretty remarkable, that takes a lot of doing.

kezzygirl

Update: thankyou for all of your comments and support. I registered with gamstop and it has blocked me from all uk online sites. I admit I have spent about £12 since payday on in store scratchies but admittedly I'm just not getting the same buzz. My thoughts while scratching it was 'what a waste of money', so I haven't bothered since!! I cancelles my postcode lottery subscription too. I get the urge while sitting here unoccupied, but I know it is taken out of my hands with the ban. We have money remaining from our wages and its not being frittered away, which is a nice feeling 😊 just focusing on saving for our upcoming holiday which admittedly is now occupying me, or rather pre-occupying me. Nonetheless, I'm not feeling useless and guilty which is a good thing. Thanks again. Will update again 

Floss

That's great news 😊

EssexHebridean

That's brilliant progress - well done you!