I've been so stupid

kimwp

I forgot to say- this plan isn't just for getting out of debt, it's for living a life where you feel fulfilled and happy. 

maxmycardagain

Im switching to premium bonds, i can win, i cant lose....makes more sense

kezzygirl

I've just signed up to gamstop self exclusion and also blocked gambling from my bank card. I felt a strange sense of stress and anxiety in my chest. Feel a bit teary. Think I need to speak to my husband.

All of our debts are legitimate and obtained for valid reasons, we are happy to pay them. 
I was depressed and stopped my antidepressants a couple of months ago. I'm not depressed now, but I am obsessive about money and need to get some control back.

stu12345_2

so you ok with debt agreements then, most old bank loans credit cards you will discover that the banks etc misplaced agreements and it's common than you think, leaving you not having to pay it.

anyway, do you feel you have lost a crutch when you blocked the sites, like a smoker, smoking his last fag. 
or did it feel like the death of something important in your life, the goodbye to an unreliable friend

400ixl

kezzygirl said:

Yes, my thoughts are that the debts would be cleared and we would be able to live a better life without having to work so hard. Ridiculous I know. I do fixate a bit on the debts and log in daily to them, even if I'm not making a payment. A bit obsessive. I do need a hobby. I also need to create a budget and stick to it. I've banned myself from lottery, mecca,play oji, sky bet, and gala. I need to knock this on the head.

What about turning that fixation into something positive. Have an online savings account and every time you want to spend on a scratch card, transfer that money into that account instantly. The fixate on not allowing that account to reduce except when it is to remove it for a purpose such as a monthly debt payment, or a savings target.

EssexHebridean

Kezzygirl well done - that’s a massive first step! If you feel ready to talk to your husband, then take a breath and do it. Alternatively get the SOA sorted and a plan in place for tackling things then talk to him - it really is entirely down to what order you want to do things in, you do what suits you.

MFWannabe

kezzygirl said:

I've just signed up to gamstop self exclusion and also blocked gambling from my bank card. I felt a strange sense of stress and anxiety in my chest. Feel a bit teary. Think I need to speak to my husband.

All of our debts are legitimate and obtained for valid reasons, we are happy to pay them. 
I was depressed and stopped my antidepressants a couple of months ago. I'm not depressed now, but I am obsessive about money and need to get some control back.

Firstly massive well done for posting on here, it’s not easy but you’ve made the first step towards a better future
I hope you speak to your husband as it sounds like you need some support x 
Ref the money/ debt situation put together your soa and plan your budget; this will help you feel more in control. Once you have a plan in place and can see the numbers reducing hopefully you will start to feel better and stop looking for that ‘quick fix’ which is not going to happen 

fatbelly

kezzygirl said:

I was depressed and stopped my antidepressants a couple of months ago. I'm not depressed now, but I am obsessive about money and need to get some control back.

Antidepressants do more than just lift mood. They can be used to stop obsessive thinking and generalised anxiety.

There can also be a seasonal component, with Jan/Feb being the most difficult months.

Have you chatted this through with your GP?

I think if we work with an soa that you provide we can develop a plan to deal with the debts. That's the easy part

kezzygirl

I spoke to my husband. He didn't tell me off or get mad, he's pleased I've joined gamstop. I used to budget really well, set myself an amount and anything we earned over that I would pay off debts. Going to sit down tomorrow on my day off and go through bank statements and really knuckle down on what we spend on so it's a true reflection. I'm then going to open another bank account and transfer 'free' money into that when I get paid and be strict with myself from when I get paid. We have no spare cash between now and pay day, the 25th

MFWannabe

Well done kezzygirl; you’ve done amazing for your first day 
Remember you’re not alone; there’s lots of people here to support you along the way. 

If you want to you could consider posting on the diary board to document everything and to share your journey x