Watty's Awakening

KajiKita

@daisy_1571, I’ve not heard of triggering-stacking before. Thank you for sharing that. 

KK

debtfreewannabe321

I feel rattled every time I have to talk to my ex. And sadly it is weekly most of the time because of children involved. 
I'm glad you got the email sorted out. I'm not tech minded enough to offer anything to the table on that discussion though! 

beanielou

Keep plodding 

Watty1

Thank you all so much, it really means a lot to read your comments.   I come on here, unable to sleep, and a few hours later there are some really kind, wise comments.  You all mean so much to me, which given this is an anonymous forum may seem strange but the kindness is well, just that.  And there is a lot of wisdom too.   

I think my pragmatic solution and sort out was well done but I underestimated the impact on me.

I had never heard the term trigger stacking before either and it makes sense.     I had a complete meltdown this morning which I think was the overwhelm and the lack of sleep so I grabbed a piece of paper and began writing. I have identified a couple of areas that might be an issue at some point so when I feel stronger I will address those. Today is not the day  (although I did message a company about rebuilding the wall that came down and he then rung me and paid a £700 deposit the steel work that needs to be purchased and got the work booked in).   

daisy_1571

Trigger stacking is basically the straw that broke the camels back.   Its when something you'd normally cope with like none of your favourite bread left at tge supermarket.  Most days, no problem,  pick something else but one day it finds you sobbing into your gloves because woke up late, nightmare journey to work, got blamed for something you didn't do, forgot your lunch, trudge down a corridor to find door locked so have to retrieve to other end of the building  etc etc. 

I learnt about it re dogs - why 'that bite came out of nowhere'.  No it didn't.  Nervy dog, met a black lab unexpectedly at a corner (hates black labs), kids ran past screaming and yelling, workmen in hats delivering a package, backed into a corner by prams going past one with squeaky wheel, final straw child goes to grab his ears which are sore even though owner not yet aware.

Dxxx 

KajiKita

Watty, I can’t help noticing how swift your ‘rebound’ is through this process this time. You are being pragmatic, proactive and kind to yourself. Compared to a year or so ago, this is huge. I don’t actually know you, and yet I find myself very, very proud of you ❤️

KK

Watty1

@daisy_1571 I read about it online and your explanation summed up perfectly what happened.  it makes so much sense.

@KajiKita thank you, that made me very emotional.  I'm not sure my rebound is as great as it might seem but after a meltdown because my phone was flat and I could not find one of the battery packs I made a list and I've started to work through all the stuff that seems overwhelming. Some of it is just too emotional for today (cancel dog groomer, sort out a vet appointment) but I have ticked a few smaller items off.  The rest are to be done tomorrow.

Watty1

Have made a long list of things that are both hovering in my mind that need doing and also areas the ex may still have some influence.  I will start addressing these today.  I am hoping that the more of them I can remove the less stressed my mind will be and so the less triggers towards meltdowns and depression there are.

KajiKita

Well done 😊

Are there any that VNM or your PA could help with, to speed up the process?

Kk

Cherryfudge

Sending hugs x