Money Moral Dilemma: Is it OK to get my friend something for Christmas that's on sale?

MSE_Kelvin

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

My friend and I always get each other a Christmas gift, which we spend a mutually agreed £30 on. This year I've found something worth £30 that would make a great gift for them, but it's on sale so I'd be spending less. Should I keep the money I'd save for myself or buy them something extra so I've spent the agreed amount?

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NBLondon

If it's a great gift - it's a great gift... irrespective of the price.

What exactly is the mutual agreement?  Is it "Spend about £30" or "Up to £30 but no more..." or is it "Spend £30 because anything less makes me look like a cheapskate"?   Is it likely that the friend will know it was on sale and accuse you of being a cheapskate if you didn't buy something extra to go with it?  Will you be checking that they didn't get your present for less than £29.99 so you can call them a cheapskate?

JGB1955

Absolutely!  Go for it!  I regularly buy my grandchildren presents from Argos - I actually use Nectar Points to pay.  The cash stays in my pocket.  The gift is the same value, whichever way you pay ....

MalMonroe

Yes, yes and yes. Gifts are supposed to be about the thought, not about the cost. I guess a lot of people this year are trimming their Christmas gift lists, too. I'm sure your friend will be thrilled. Hopefully neither of you goes hunting around after being given something to find out exactly how much it cost? I don't buy for many friends any more by mutual agreement, because we simply can't afford it now.

Groom

If what you've planned to get was originally £30, unless it is on sale for less everywhere, how would your friend know? To be honest, I can't understand a mutual agreement to spend the same on each other, what's the point, surely it's the giving that is important and the thought that goes into it? My favourite present from a friend was a painting she did of a place we'd visited together - it cost her nothing but her time and effort, but I loved that. 

LP53

I would buy the gift and tell her it turned out it was reduced when you went to purchase it so you’ve bought her a little something else or tell her you’re going to buy coffee and cake or a couple of drinks when out with the change. Unless you’re struggling financially then I don’t see how she would know the price as all retailers charge different. There’s no shame in a bargain! 

k_k_k_katy

Spend what you've agreed, that's what agreed means.   You didn't agree to buy something of a certain value, you agreed to spend a certain amount.  How would you feel if you received a gift from your friend and suspected she'd taken advantage of an offer to save money on your gift?   Would you mind that they, and not you, had benefitted from the reduction?   If you manage to get better value for your friend for that amount, so be it, lucky friend, and you will look, and be, generous.

gothvixen

Personally, I would spend £30 by adding in something else. People look forwards to my presents because I'm very good at finding bargains, so they know they'll get items worth a lot more. I don't use my skill to spend considerably less than they spend on me. I get a lot of enjoyment from the hunt and then their happiness at unwrapping time.

Katiehound

I'd buy the item in the sale and then something else- not necessarily to make it up to £30 but to increase the value. I'd also tell the person concerned with "I got a bargain for you and we'll go out for afternoon tea as well"- or something similar.

My friend & I have a £5 challenge. You can spend up to that amount (or a tad over) and items can come from where ever- supermarket, car boot, charity shop etc. We try hard to find suitable/ funny /useful gifts for each other and enjoy the "hunting sessions" that's part of the fun

oh, and the reason for the agreement- so that present spending doesn't escalate: this way we go for 'cheap skate' gifts both being frugal and a tad penny pinching. We love it.

primrose_penguin

I would either tell them the present you have chosen has been reduced and so you don't expect them to spend the full £30 on you, or buy something else to make it up to the £30. However I don't understand why you have to have an agreement on what you spend on each other unless you are a couple trying to save for a wedding or something else and have put a limit on your spending. I give my friends what I can afford, and they do the same regardless of what it costs, the thought is more important.

Chris_Jay

I don't know why this is a dilemma for you. Your friend may be doing exactly the same. Buy the gift you feel is right, and perhaps change your spending agreement. We're all spending more on less, and gift-giving should be an enjoyable thing, not stressful to the point of asking total strangers for advice.
You don't have to disclose costs, and recipients should never ask how much was spent, that's just rude. Buy it, wrap it beautifully, pop a little silly something in with it, a bar of favourite chocolate perhaps, and enjoy the giving and receiving on the day.
Friends are valuable!
Good luck, stop worrying.