It's not my first rodeo

Gettingmyshiztogether

Hello everyone, 

Welcome to my diary. I ve titled it "it's not my first rodeo" because, well... it's not. I have been here before. About ten years ago. I managed to pay off that debt and live relatively debt free for a few years with the help of these forums and diaries keeping me focused and on track.

However, I started down a slippery slope again and accrued yet more debt. Again on credit cards. We decided we wanted to move house and so I managed to pay off £9k super fast... within 4/5 months. This still left me with some debt but we were able to move to a larger property... that needed/ needs work doing to it. 

The pandemic then hit, and hit my business hard, thats when my income started to decline. And so I did what all good people would do, and I stuck my head in the sand!

I told myself that things would improve as quickly as they had gone downhill and that bridging the gap with my credit cards was a temporary measure until such point that I could make the big repayments again, like I had done before. Sadly, after a year things have declined further, and although I love what I do, I cannot keep "surviving" on a ridiculously low income and bridging the gap with CCs.

I have therefore taken on two very part time jobs to take the financial pressure off of my business for now so that I can grow it back to where it should be without feeling sick and full of dread. No business grows when you feel like that! These jobs combined with the income I am making from my business will pay off the debts also.

As I mentioned, we have taken on a renovation project, that 1) costs more to run than our last home 2) needs a lot of money spending on it! But whilst my debt repayments are so high I cannot afford to do the work. Which is pretty rubbish.

I am married to a very sensible financial man, who has no debts apart from our mortgage and has said he wouldn't be able to sleep if he owed a lot of money. Many times over the years. Hearing this makes me feel sick at having let him down so badly. I feel so guilty that we are now in this situation (that he knows nothing about) because I put my head in the sand for far too long. So yes, I know I should tell him, but I just can't. 

I have made the decision to pay it all back and hope that he never finds out. Or at least until its all paid back. 

So I have started this diary as a place to record my journey, maybe people might read it and take some ideas away from it or feel inspired. I'll do another post soon with all of the things I have put in place so far and what my plans are over the coming months.

Makingabobor2

Oh my. Just seen your post and wanted to say I will subscribe and see how you get on and wish you all the luck in the world.  But I have one piece of advice....please tell your husband.  I know you say you can't, but if he were to find out, which he probably will, things will be even worse. Think how you would feel if it were him hiding the debt.  You can't live with someone and be paying off debt and living frugally...(which, lets be honest here, is what you are going to have to do),  and not tell them.  You don't say how much your debt is, but even if its only a few thousand ££, he needs to know.    

Gettingmyshiztogether

Things I have done so far to "trim the fat";
* Changed pet insurance. I managed to halve our pet insurance. This will come into force next month.
* Changed our deal for our phones and broadband saving us £17 a month!
* I have taken on two very part time jobs. One is early morning, so I can be back in time for the school run. The second is one hour a day working from home. These take the financial pressure off of my business so I can begin to get back onto my feet financially. Have enough money for all of my bills and start to repay the money I owe back. Whilst giving me time to spend on rebuilding my business.
* We got a smart meter. I now boil the kettle before I leave for my early morning work at 4am and fill a flask. It cost 5p to boil our full kettle and so filling a flask means our kettle boiling is much reduced. Although we still end up boiling it a few times a day, this is half of what it was.
* I have been planning our meals meticulously! Seeing what we already have in and making a plan from there. I also have reduced oven cooking to just once a week, and that day I will batch cook.
* I have changed our pet food to another brand which is cheaper but just as good. This has more than halved our pet food bill each month.
* I have switched my T*sco CC to 0% interest card. Just need to wait for a 0% deal for V!rg!n also to move that over. 
* I have made a budget for this month which will see me live within the money I have coming in, and next month that will go up and so I will be able to start paying off the debt! This is exciting!
* I have found the cheapest fuel station locally and so am paying 179.7 per litre.
* I have downloaded a free debt repayment app to help me keep track of my 0% deals and payments.

I think that's it for now... anything else I think of I'll write in here.

Gettingmyshiztogether

Makingabobor2 said:

Oh my. Just seen your post and wanted to say I will subscribe and see how you get on and wish you all the luck in the world.  But I have one piece of advice....please tell your husband.  I know you say you can't, but if he were to find out, which he probably will, things will be even worse. Think how you would feel if it were him hiding the debt.  You can't live with someone and be paying off debt and living frugally...(which, lets be honest here, is what you are going to have to do),  and not tell them.  You don't say how much your debt is, but even if its only a few thousand ££, he needs to know.    

Thank you so much for the support already. And the advice. You are right. Although my husband is naturally frugal he thinks it's Christmas that I have started to watch the pennies. He knows that I have a credit card with some debt, but not the scale of the debt. It is currently around the £22,000 mark. Even typing that makes me feel sick. He would actually drop down dead if I told him that... although then I would get the insurance money soooo... 😉

Thank you for your comment though I appreciate you taking the time. I need to type out my signature and post how much I owe. Its horrid but its keeping me accountable and that's what I need right now as I can't tell anyone in "real life" 

Gettingmyshiztogether

I forgot to say, my goal is to get this all paid back by my next big birthday which is at the end of next year! 

Makingabobor2

That is a lot of debt for one person to be hiding & trying to pay off alone. Surely your husband will wonder why you are not spending money at Christmas, which you obviously can't do with that amount of debt. He may also be wondering what is happening to all the money you are saving with your batch cooking, cutting back etc.  

Gettingmyshiztogether

Makingabobor2 said:

That is a lot of debt for one person to be hiding & trying to pay off alone. Surely your husband will wonder why you are not spending money at Christmas, which you obviously can't do with that amount of debt. He may also be wondering what is happening to all the money you are saving with your batch cooking, cutting back etc.  

Yes, you are right. If he asks questions I'll have to deal with it then I think. Right now I just need to get myself back on my feet and some of the debt down. 

Christmas I have already budgeted for. Part of my plan is to set a budget and use it. One of the problems I ve realised that I ve had is because I don't have a fixed income I haven't budgeted... so that's the first habit I am breaking. I ve a budget for the rest of this year albeit with my business income predicted. So my first goal really is to pay off my three smallest debts and be out of my OD by the end of this year. 

Bunny_mumma

Subscribing so I can follow your journey! Good luck xx 

Makingabobor2

It is hard with no fixed income isn't it? Hope you do what you think is right for you. 

Gettingmyshiztogether

Bunny_mumma said:

Subscribing so I can follow your journey! Good luck xx 

Thank you so much 🥰

Gettingmyshiztogether

Makingabobor2 said:

It is hard with no fixed income isn't it? Hope you do what you think is right for you. 

 It is, but also a bit of a cop out also I now realise- for me anyway. Thank you for your kind words and support this evening.