When a partner doesn't get it

chiefie

I sat with my wife and told her what she and we would be getting and what we could do if we paid more in. That visualisation helped. 

bolwin1

My wife has zero interest in the financials / savings / pension etc. She's also (by her own admission), not very good at budgeting & this hasn't really changed over the past 30 ears.

She works part time & earns a lot less than me. Her money goes towards food / presents / her spending money etc. & I arrange / cover everything else. She also spends money on a joint credit card which I pay off every month. We do discuss the important stuff, but things like changing insurance / utilities providers, I just get on with.

Once a year, I print out / email her a financial summary showing the pensions / savings / direct debits etc. She usually loses it within days   Looking at posts above, I think I need to add more info to this sheet re how to contact providers should something happen to me. 

I have a lot of life insurance on my life, so she wouldn't have to worry about money if I was to die 'young'. The pensions are balanced enough so either of us could manage on our own if needed. 
n.b. overall the workload is fairly balanced, we've just worked out what we are each best at over the past 30 years. She's not as financially responsible / sensible as me, but she has many other strengths that I don't have. We both contribute equally to the relationship, just in different ways. 

k6chris

Wow, interesting thread.  My OH does the daily finances and I do the investments and pensions.  Both fairly thrifty now (I had an iffy start!)  The two finance worlds meet when things like new kitchens arise.  One a year, she bores me with huge details about what we spend our money on and in return I get to bore her with asset allocation and SIPP taxation implications.  As long as neither of us is too concerned, the other is usually happy!  

DiamondLil

I'm another whose OH is totally disinterested in finance. I have always dealt with the finances and like other posters, everything is recorded on a spreadsheet and there is an explanatory letter kept with our wills.

If he still has difficulty, one of our children is pretty savvy.

Nurse2047

I’ve bought a bright pink filing cabinet 😂for the important stuff eg mortgage statements. Wills. Kids birth certificates etc- all labelled so if anything did happen to me hopefully everything is at hand. I have recently also downloaded the SecureSafe app for passwords etc but still waiting for him to do his 🤦‍♀️

robatwork

bolwin1 said:

My wife has zero interest in the financials / savings / pension etc. She's also (by her own admission), not very good at budgeting & this hasn't really changed over the past 30 ears.

In one year and out the other?  

Kim1965

Are thete any couples out there who are both switched on financially and argue about investment strategies, fund choices etc? 

bostonerimus

People often get married without understanding their partner's attitudes to money and finances. Sometimes this can lead to big arguments when perspectives don't align and can be a major contributor to a divorce. So it's good that the OP is letting her husband know what she thinks and that the husband eventually did something. I've seen far worse situations.

I have a friend who's husband is really loving and works hard, but he is also not good at forward planning. She bought the house with an inheritance and she's put it in trust for her children along with some other assets as she worries that he'd spend the lot if she dies first.

In my marriage my wife was also very laid back when it came to finances and when we divorced she didn't think about the money so I ended up dealing with her lawyer and we both tried to get her to claim half of the DC pension fund which was around $20k at the time, but she didn't want the bother. I have kept it separate from my post divorce finances and left her as the beneficiary. We are still in touch and she still doesn't plan well and last year broke her leg and doesn't have health insurance - which is a big deal in the US. She got some money from her parents and I kicked in something anonymously on Gofundme to help pay her expenses.

Malthusian

Kim1965 said:

Are thete any couples out there who are both switched on financially and argue about investment strategies, fund choices etc? 

I think it's very rare. A couple who both had strong opinions about investments would just keep separate accounts and hold whatever they preferred, not waste time arguing about it.

If a couple is arguing it is more likely to be about something that actually matters, like when one or both is going to retire. And either you work through that kind of thing or work out that it's an irreconcilable difference. If you are going to entwine your finances then your financial goals have to be aligned as well.

OldBeanz

My wife was given a Santander Select Account having never earned more than £16k pa. Most of the house is in her name (we have worked abroad so tax would be saved) and shares were in her name at one time when tax on dividends was more difficult to avoid. She still couldn't log in and I do have a little chuckle from time to time when Santander write offering their services to her rather than to me. Her understanding and interest in finance is minimal.