New job just doesn't feel right / lost in career

GarciaLorca

So this might be kind of a long post but I'm not really sure where else to post this.  I just need to get it off my chest though so not offended if I don't get any replies
I started a new job in the midst of the pandemic back in April.  Looking back, it was a huge risk continuing with the move at that time but it had been lined up before lockdown.  I was very nervous about starting a new job working from home but thought that I'd achieved other things in my career, this would be OK.  I'm 7 years into a professional services career so this was not by any means a first job, but it was a new kind of move shall we say. It is a fairly senior role. 

Unfortunately I've just felt incredibly lost since starting and I don't know if it's just me, the situation or my manager that is compounding this.  I had a slightly off vibe before I joined about the organisation - everything seemed a bit disorganised getting all the paperwork signed up and confirmed and I sent a few emails before I joined to my future supervisor saying how excited I was to be joining and their replies were courteous but a little off.  They didn't seem to share the enthusiasm and took weeks to reply to me. My first day was quite disappointing and I felt like it set the tone for what was to come.  I was excited for my first day, ready to "go to work" from my home.  I had a welcome call with my supervisor but I was a bit surprised that it was just a phone call and he didn't bother putting video on.  It seemed really impersonal and a bit off for welcoming someone new to the team.  He gave me a few projects but didn't exactly introduce me to anybody.  In previous jobs, I'd been introduced to tons of people, had meetings set up and was able to network efficiently.  I get that working from home presents challenges but it's not hard to set up virtual meetings or introduce people online. 

I shrugged this off and just got on with the job for the next weeks and months but something just felt off.  I felt like I was performing a kind of minion type job, very reactionary, slightly micromanaged by the supervisor and just really really struggled to network.  My supervisor seems to have all sorts of internal relationships and contacts and I may be being paranoid but he is being very protective over them especially more senior relationships.  I've had zero exposure to any senior management relationships nor put on any projects of real value.  If I could describe the work I have been doing, it has felt pretty back end and low value and I have been really bored. This has been really disheartening really as I have seen colleagues around my level of experience in different teams thriving but I try to tell myself right now I am so lucky to have a job at all while there is a blood bath going on in the jobs market.

Then there is the nature of my relationship with my supervisor and other colleagues. The culture of the organisation is very transactional and pretty impersonal.  I hardly know anything about my supervisor at all and I am know we are there to do a job but there is little relationship and I've always found in previous jobs that it is relationships that matter so much in the workplace.  I find the relationship very impersonal and I've tried to build rapport but it just doesn't feel like it's working.  I think it may have been his first management job but I just do not feel managed in any meaningful way.  They do not really lead or inspire any vision nor care about my development.  I don't think I've ever received any feedback from this person either. I try to show visibility in terms of what I am doing by sending updates / copying him in things I am working on but I frequently get ignored so the message I get is that they're always too busy and I'm not important.  I get that someone might be busy but this just feels rude.  A few months ago I came back from some time away - I just stayed at home and didn't actually do anything exciting but there wasn't even a conversation like oh how was your time off.  I know everyone is struggling with their own !!!!!! right now, but it just feels weird.  Added to this, I just get this sense of ambivalence from him - like I give my views / opinions on things when asked but he will just do what he wants / what he thinks is best anyway so I get the sense he just not respect what I think.  So in that sense I also feel pretty redundant although there is plenty of work to get on with so not literally redundant.  Maybe just useless.  

This is all making me feel very hard to stay motivated as it feels so robotic and has really knocked my confidence for six. It is tough working from home but I think there are a combination of factors here that aren't helping. I am actually hoping to change careers anyway within the next few years as I've had enough of what I do and have a plan I am working on in my spare time to get out of what I am doing at the moment (I'm doing a part time distance learning degree in my spare time and hope to do a masters).  Whenever I am feeling rubbish about this situation I try to remind myself of what I am working on and focus on that and the end game but I still have to try to deal with this situation and how it is making me feel.
I know inevitably some of the advice will be to leave and find another job but the market is terrible at the moment and I am super conscious about not looking like a job hopper as I made a mistake move previously and it looks like a blip on my CV.  I just want to know whether I am being a snowflake or whether it actually is quite challenging having worked in a job purely remotely and with this odd culture / chronic boredom. 

tacpot12

I think it is quite challenging to work purely remotely. Humans need contact and relationships. The workplace is not primarily there to provide these, it's more the case that traditional workplaces are more productive because they provide them.

Also, everyone wants to be valued; to do interesting and useful work, and be appreciated for it. It is not too much to expect your supervisor to support you by setting you up with the right contacts, but often inexperienced managers really don't know what to do at all. They are often so busy keeping their own heads above water that their direct reports are left floundering. 
I would recommend that you continue to send updates to them, but as they are unresponsive, you need to start rewarding yourself: you know when you have done a good job, pat yourself on the back when you deliver something on time, or to a good quality. 

It is the supervisor's job to get the most out of you that they can, but again this is a management skill that is not taught or that easy to learn. I think you may need to wait for them to begin to trust you with more important work and with important relationships.

I would suggest that you try to find a mentor; ideally someone who is somewhat removed from your boss in the organisational structure. You should keep your eye out for anyone who seems to be being managed well, and ask their boss if they will mentor you. This will help you understand whether the organisation is a bit off as you put it, or whether it is just your supervisor who is off. Ultimately, if the organisation is off, then you will need to leave if you are to be happy (or rise to CEO and set about changing the culture!). I would not worry about your CV being impacted - you have a good reason to leave the job, but I would wait until you have secured a new job before leaving this job. That way you will have no gap in your CV, and you will have been hired by someone - it proves you are hireable. 

I would tend to ignore the problems in the hiring process in April - as the pandemic hit, most organisations were struggling to get remote working to be effective.

Will you be able to return to an office environment when the pandemic risk passes? 

Flatulentoldgoat

I have no idea what you're actually asking, I've read your wall of text twice now and I'm really none the wiser.

You've just described a pretty typical work place, so are you just looking for some sort of emotional support from random people on here? Wouldn't FB be a more suitable for posting this to?

So yeah, basically if you don't enjoy it, leave?

74jax

It's good you've got it off your chest, it can really help. 
At work I'm more like your boss (or was... Not working now)...  What people get up on their holiday, weekend etc isn't really something I'm interested in.  I am not friends with colleagues on FB / insta etc, I went to work, did my job and came home, got paid. That said, I was never 'off' with people, very friendly - but always workwise. I was once told I was very approachable for work matters and people knew I didn't gossip.... Mainly as I wasnt interested if Sarah from copying went away with Bob from legal for a weekend....., 😂
You have joined a new company, in the middle of a global pandemic, is give yourself some slack. 
Do you have people around you for after work?  Has work usually been your social life too? 
Regarding your manager, could you ask for a review, ask for a mentor, feedback etc? 
Do you have a job description, how far is what you doing from that? Are you bored, need challenging maybe? 

AskAsk

you tend to know straightaway when you join a new company if it is going to work out or not, and it would seem you have worked out this one isn't.

not much choice apart from looking for another job or stick with this one and try to make the best of it.  i started a job once where I knew immediately it wasn't for me but I thought I best stick around for 2 years as i didn't want my CV to look like I have abandoned a job.  it was a really horrid 2 years but luckily i found a new job soon after the 2 years and was able to leave.

[Deleted User]

GarciaLorca said:

I know inevitably some of the advice will be to leave and find another job but the market is terrible at the moment and I am super conscious about not looking like a job hopper as I made a mistake move previously and it looks like a blip on my CV.  I just want to know whether I am being a snowflake or whether it actually is quite challenging having worked in a job purely remotely and with this odd culture / chronic boredom. 

I know it is tough times but you might be pleasantly surprised; interviews are still a 2 way street. Used to be a chronic job hopper - Done nearly a year which is a first in quite some time, recently looked about, didn't get the old angst I use to get, in fact it was more the other way, listening to businesses who have had to make changes to survive (most positive then negative, even if some parts of automation is on it's way) it re-in forced my market value for the work I do and want to continue and what other company cultures and spirits are out there, even if they were both car crashes - it wasn't because of my cv history! I've even had to reply to the you are still in the running message from one! Though being open and communicating with the current employer wasn't a lost cause either and I wish it happened sooner rather then let resentment brew and take over to the point you are just glad of a chat at an interview - whilst isolation and odd way of working cannot be challenged in my current job, money is being thrown at it. Please tell your employer how you feel, it will be the best thing you can do for yourself.

Marcon

Deleted User said:

GarciaLorca said:

I know inevitably some of the advice will be to leave and find another job but the market is terrible at the moment and I am super conscious about not looking like a job hopper as I made a mistake move previously and it looks like a blip on my CV.  I just want to know whether I am being a snowflake or whether it actually is quite challenging having worked in a job purely remotely and with this odd culture / chronic boredom. 

 Please tell your employer how you feel, it will be the best thing you can do for yourself.

Yeah, you could be out of work immediately and wouldn't need to take a decision for yourself.

josephine82

Does sound frustrating. I’ve had two team members start remotely during the pandemic and have made much more effort to integrate these people into the team that it sounds like you have been subject to. 

But, I would say, keep your head down, get the job done, focus on enjoying life outside work and look for something else if you want to. I think in this situation it sounds like just not the right place for you. Nothing wrong with that. We have all been there!  

MalMonroe

Obviously everything is made much worse because of coronavirus and I understand that you feel that your hands are tied. The main things to consider at the moment - are you managing to do the job and are they paying you? Right now, nothing else matters. Many people are working from home and it's like being out on a limb. You are not on your own in how you feel. My daughter and I are both self employed and sometimes it can feel very isolating, as if everyone else is in on a joke but you're left out. 

BUT in your case, this won't last forever and while you are trying your best in the job, you can look around for others. A few years ago I signed up with 'indeed' and I notice they are now advertising on TV but they do send regular emails around and lots at the moment are jobs you can do from home. They're still advertising, all kinds of posts.

You seem to be despairing because you think of this as something you can't escape from that's going to go on forever but, having experienced similar in the past, I can assure you that you will be able to turn things around, it just may take longer because, again, of coronavirus.

As josephine82 says, we've all been there. It's true, we have. When you start a new job and immediately think "uh-oh, what have I done?!"

Anyway, you have plans, too and want to change careers eventually, so just treat this job as a stepping stone to your future, something to bring in the money while you finish your studies and find your feet - you are being proactive - I guess it just doesn't feel like it at the moment.

SandyShores

I'm in a similar situation to you, I have a pretty secure, well-paid job but I am being micromanaged and given tasks that are well below the job's pay grade.  A couple of people have said they can't see the problem with getting paid to do more than I'm doing, and I get their point.  But I want to feel that I am earning my money and there's nothing like working in a high achieving team (and this is nothing like working in a high achieving team ).

I know in my old job working from home wouldn't have made much difference as I would have been so focussed on the work, surroundings didn't matter, but it seems to be highlighting all the flaws in my new job.  I know that when we are back in the office there will be distractions from feeling so dissatisfied, but I think its too late now - the genie is out of the bottle and I need to move on. 

Just use this time to improve yourself and look out for when the right job comes up.  Don't forget that managers move on and that can change things too.  My advice would be:

• Not to jump into something else too quickly - you might find it equally as bad;
• Think carefully before talking to your manager (I've done this and its not always well received when you're criticising their management style that they don't see anything wrong with).  Focus on things they can change e.g. can we have a meeting every Thursday morning etc. but accept you can't change them, only your attitude and situation.
• Try to keep your confidence up in other ways - remember this situation won't always be like this, keep up your studies and look for ways to build up your own network (and a new job).

You might find that in a few months you have found your way in the job, or you might have found your way out.  Either way it will all be good.

sammyjammy

Have you tried making contact with people yourself rather than doing so through your supervisor?  Maybe you got unlikely and will find this person has a reputation for being a little difficult/protective?
Are you part of a team?  We have worked at home since March and its tough but we have a team meeting every day, just a quick catch up and a wider meeting once a week, it really helps.  
Not everyone feels comfortable on video but it is worth making the effort.