I'm just so tired of it all

redlaces

I've been on a debt treadmill for over 10 years.
At its worst my debt was over £15.6k, thanks in no small part to a lifetime of undiagnosed chronic depression.
I've paid off around £3k of that through work bonuses and got my mental health in order, but I just want the debt to go away. I set up as self-employed writer earlier this year but obviously corona made starting my business much more difficult and I've effectively been coasting/living on savings, part-time wages from side jobs and not really getting much business progress done. Obviously had no help from the Gmt either as a newly self-employed person except for around £300 a month in furlough wages from my side jobs.
I just want the debt to go away. I feel like it's a hangover from my old, depression days and although my mental health is much better now (thanks to spending thousands on life-saving private therapy) it just feels like a millstone around my neck.
All I want is to own my own property and that just feels like a pipe dream. I'm 32 and I feel like such a failure.

Sorry for the vent. I'm just tired of having to justify my being stingy to all my friends who have so much more stability than I do. I've been stingy for years but it feels like it's just not going down.

IrishSean

Hey, welcome

Firstly well done for posting up; and for paying down £3k

Best thing to do is post up your SOA using stoozing.com

Forum will be able to advise on getting the remainder paid off and helping free up more cash from your monthly budget👍

redlaces

Hey, thanks
I don't actually have a monthly income as such yet, I'm still very much at the 'hustling' stage of being self-employed and chasing every pound where I can!
Would an SOA still work?

sourcrates

Best doing the SOA, but what we really need to know is what kind of debts you have, how old they are, when did you last make payment to them, who the providers are, and are you a homeowner or do you rent ?,

IrishSean

How have you been paying? Are you on payment hols due to C19?
Best to post up and or speak to free debt charity; avoid missed payments & defaults at all costs, best to keep yourself in control of what comes next

MalMonroe

Before you start disclosing all your financial information on here, I'd like to suggest that you contact one of the debt help agencies. StepChange was absolutely fantastic when I found myself in a similar situation, after having worried for years about my debts. It's a free phone call 0800 138 1111 and they are SO helpful. Not open at weekends but they will be tomorrow. You may be eligible for a Debt Relief Order, which does wipe out all your debts but which does also stay on your credit file for 6 years (although it's discharged after one year). I had a DRO and it was so helpful. And also, helped me to sleep at night. I was in the position of not being able to earn any more than I did as I was carer for a disabled relative and with no hope of paying off any of my debts. The StepChange adviser helped so much because in the first place they do not judge you because you are in debt. But they offer sensible advice. You do have to tell them your outgoings and your income but it is so worth it. Do try them, you sound at the end of your tether and there IS help out there. If a DRO isn't the right thing for you, they will advise something else. Don't give up! And well done for trying self-employment, that's what I'm doing now!

redlaces

Thank you sourcrates. I will do an SOA over the next couple of days, as I'll need to trawl through a lot of info and I have a client deadline.

Debts are all credit cards, between 3 and 5 years old with Lloyds, Halifax and Barclaycard (I transferred a lot of balances over the years but these are the current ones). All up to date with payments (I took an authorised coronavirus payment holiday on most of them).

I'm a renter with an incredibly sound landlord, but I have housemates which makes working at home without interruptions so much more difficult.

I'm not at crisis point just yet, I'm just so, so tired of being strong.

redlaces

MalMonroe said:

Before you start disclosing all your financial information on here, I'd like to suggest that you contact one of the debt help agencies. StepChange was absolutely fantastic when I found myself in a similar situation, after having worried for years about my debts. It's a free phone call 0800 138 1111 and they are SO helpful. Not open at weekends but they will be tomorrow. You may be eligible for a Debt Relief Order, which does wipe out all your debts but which does also stay on your credit file for 6 years (although it's discharged after one year). I had a DRO and it was so helpful. And also, helped me to sleep at night. I was in the position of not being able to earn any more than I did as I was carer for a disabled relative and with no hope of paying off any of my debts. The StepChange adviser helped so much because in the first place they do not judge you because you are in debt. But they offer sensible advice. You do have to tell them your outgoings and your income but it is so worth it. Do try them, you sound at the end of your tether and there IS help out there. If a DRO isn't the right thing for you, they will advise something else. Don't give up! And well done for trying self-employment, that's what I'm doing now!

Thank you so much. How are you finding self-employment?

sourcrates

DRO Requirements -

# Must not be a homeowner

# Debt less than 20k

# No assets over £1000

# You can have a car worth up to £1000

# Must have £50 or less disposable income at month end (not including debt repayments)

Most people fail on the last one, as they have too much disposable income, make sure you budget correctly and see how close you get.

redlaces

sourcrates said:

DRO Requirements -

# Must not be a homeowner

# Debt less than 20k

# No assets over £1000

# You can have a car worth up to £1000

# Must have £50 or less disposable income at month end (not including debt repayments)

Most people fail on the last one, as they have too much disposable income, make sure you budget correctly and see how close you get.

This might be a good idea! I'll see what I come up with but my on-paper obligatory outgoings are so low, so I might also fail with the last one. 
What kind of stuff do you need to budget for in the DRO? Is it just 'essentials' (rent, food, petrol) or also other things like sports and socialising?

RAS

Council tax, car tax insurance and maintenance, utilities, travel, clothing, a small amount of socialising, emergency fund, Just for starters.