I might get fired for Gross Misconduct and I'm scared what will happen

ScottishGuy1122

Guys, any suggestions on what questions they will ask so that I can prepare a solid answer instead of being a rambling mess I've got
1) do you know or understand the reason why you have been called
2) either bringing up the allegation or citing the comment(s) and asking if I wrote those
3) why did you write the comment(s)
4) were you aware of the social media policy
5) are you aware this is potential ground for gross misconduct
6) is there anything else you would like to add in your defence or mitigation

Cant think of much more, but it's a 30 min talk, but without seeing the evidence I don't know if they have the comment or if they are ready what maybe the complainant said in the email.

Either way, I'm going to be open and honest, explain it's out of character and I acted in a moment of madness and I'm deeply ashamed and horrified that I could have offended anyone with my language as well as involving company x (don't want to say bringing into disrepute as don't won't to put words in their mouths)

Any other suggestions on what they might ask?

nicechap

They will typically ask open questions, like "Tell me about your FB profile" - before funnelling down like "So this interest group you belong to, why did you join it?" And then the specifics " Did you say XYZ".

You should be open and honest but not make things up, say, I don't recall, or I don't know rather than fill in any awkward silences.  Also phrases like  -That's not what I meant, or I'm sorry if someone thinks that but that's not what I said, etc etc.   Ignore the red herrings about photoshop and being drunk.  IF it moves onto a disciplinary, you can be accompanied by a union rep and should be given copies of the evidence where you can interrogate the screenshots, emails etc.  

IrishSean

Wow, this thread has gone a bit boogaloo, lol

In short, anyone can make at best an unfair complaint (utter snowflake who is offended by anyone who disagrees with them, irrespective of race, religion, gender etc.)

The employer has a DUTY OF CARE to the employee, employed 2.5 years (rights cemented). 
In short every circus has its clowns; a reputable employer will NOT give 2 sheets about an eejit who spits a dummy and 'runs to tell mummy employer' their staff member hasn't played nice, in his own time.

I stand by what I said; unless it defames the company or is obviously bordering on illegal then it will be a matter of it being entirely subjective.

If it were me I would say as little as possible, except to down play it as a spat that got heated. If OP feels put upon or cross-examined he should ask how this impacts on his capability to do the job: as his social media accounts are closed a re-occurrence can't happen. If arguing with people (especially with lockdown😂) is a sackable offence, outside work, who would be left employed?!

My only caveat is I think there's a naivety on the part of the original poster; signposting the employer to facebook has given them more opportunities to dig and perhaps misinterpret previous posts; I hope there's no can of worms being opened.

Again, i'd go 'worry-light' on it all unless they propose disciplinary in which case, Union, all the way.

Remember OP, a tribunal would be costlier and potentially more detrimental to the employer both financially and reputationally than a 'polite do one' back to the complainant. 

If complainant has genuine beef, why pull the company into it? If it was racist and meets an investigatory threshold, they shouldv contacted the police; I would (if it was sustained and I was suitably aggrieved). Should the complainant 'ramp it up' by defaming the company's response a simple cease and desist e-mail from company lawyer should put them in their place.

OP, unless there's something you are holding back i'd suggest go through the motions with the employer, recognising they may have to be seen to do something; get a nights sleep, chalk it up to experience and move on as quickly as.

ScottishGuy1122

IrishSean said:

Wow, this thread has gone a bit boogaloo, lol

In short, anyone can make at best an unfair complaint (utter snowflake who is offended by anyone who disagrees with them, irrespective of race, religion, gender etc.)

The employer has a DUTY OF CARE to the employee, employed 2.5 years (rights cemented). 
In short every circus has its clowns; a reputable employer will NOT give 2 sheets about an eejit who spits a dummy and 'runs to tell mummy employer' their staff member hasn't played nice, in his own time.

I stand by what I said; unless it defames the company or is obviously bordering on illegal then it will be a matter of it being entirely subjective.

If it were me I would say as little as possible, except to down play it as a spat that got heated. If OP feels put upon or cross-examined he should ask how this impacts on his capability to do the job: as his social media accounts are closed a re-occurrence can't happen. If arguing with people (especially with lockdown😂) is a sackable offence, outside work, who would be left employed?!

My only caveat is I think there's a naivety on the part of the original poster; signposting the employer to facebook has given them more opportunities to dig and perhaps misinterpret previous posts; I hope there's no can of worms being opened.

Again, i'd go 'worry-light' on it all unless they propose disciplinary in which case, Union, all the way.

Remember OP, a tribunal would be costlier and potentially more detrimental to the employer both financially and reputationally than a 'polite do one' back to the complainant. 

If complainant has genuine beef, why pull the company into it? If it was racist and meets an investigatory threshold, they shouldv contacted the police; I would (if it was sustained and I was suitably aggrieved). Should the complainant 'ramp it up' by defaming the company's response a simple cease and desist e-mail from company lawyer should put them in their place.

OP, unless there's something you are holding back i'd suggest go through the motions with the employer, recognising they may have to be seen to do something; get a nights sleep, chalk it up to experience and move on as quickly as.

Thanks, yes I'm being as honest as I know. I already deleted my whole profile so they have no way of knowing anything I have ever said or been a part of...not that I was apart of anything as I hadn't joined any groups.

IrishSean

My parents (God rest their souls) were both tee-total. They hated drunkenness and swearing. When they retired they caught a local train; 4 supermarket employees, in civvies, were drinking and swearing on the train. My father overheard the store they worked in and complained.

In short the retailer said they acknowledged the offence caused (and offences e.g. breaking public drinking by-laws) but what employees do on their own time cannot be policed by a company. 

Interestingly we got in a spat with said parents as we asked "why didn't you just complain to the conductor; after all the 4 young people were in the wrong and you were paying customers too?" 😂 Because he wanted retribution rather than resolution; its more than a bit passive-aggressive tbh.

You employer may well suggest:
"If the offended complainant had the time and inclination to look up your Linkedin; why didn't he or she contact you via Linkedin to complain directly to you, or e-mail you a complaint?"

It has nothing to do with your employer.

Here in Northern Ireland you could be a Pro-hunting, satan-worshipping member of the BNP and there's not one thing an employer can do to sack you; otherwise where would it ever end?

ScottishGuy1122

IrishSean said:

My parents (God rest their souls) were both tee-total. They hated drunkenness and swearing. When they retired they caught a local train; 4 supermarket employees, in civvies, were drinking and swearing on the train. My father overheard the store they worked in and complained.

In short the retailer said they acknowledged the offence caused (and offences e.g. breaking public drinking by-laws) but what employees do on their own time cannot be policed by a company. 

Interestingly we got in a spat with said parents as we asked "why didn't you just complain to the conductor; after all the 4 young people were in the wrong and you were paying customers too?" 😂 Because he wanted retribution rather than resolution; its more than a bit passive-aggressive tbh.

You employer may well suggest:
"If the offended complainant had the time and inclination to look up your Linkedin; why didn't he or she contact you via Linkedin to complain directly to you, or e-mail you a complaint?"

It has nothing to do with your employer.

Here in Northern Ireland you could be a Pro-hunting, satan-worshipping member of the BNP and there's not one thing an employer can do to sack you; otherwise where would it ever end?

Thanks for the insight...yeah its not like  I'm attending specific rallies..I even said on earlier post I hate racism....I'm just more worried that if I lose my job it's gonna be virtually impossible to get another short term with the current climate and a GM on my file

Brynsam

Maybe stop posting and focus on what you need to say/do?

Manxman_in_exile

Just a couple of comments:

1.  only the OP knows what they actually said on Facecrap.  I'm not making any assumptions about what they did say, but I'm not sure it's necessarily helpful to the OP for posters on here to be somewhat critical (and possibly abusive) of the complainant.  The last thing the OP needs tomorrow is to go into the meeting with any negative or critical thoughts about the complainant at all.  If the employer detects anything like that it's not going to go down well.  Also we already know the OP is in this mess (if it is a mess) because they tend to say what they think - without actually thinking.  The OP needs to forget everything about the complainant - they are not the issue.  (Or, TBH, I'd be surprised if they were).

2.  and this may sound a bit contrary to the above (but my point is that none of us knows what the OP said except the OP) I'm not so sure about saying "...terribly sorry...moment of madness...don't know what came over me... etc etc" because that's beginning to sound a bit bad to me and that I know I've done something really wrong.  Without knowing what the OP actually said (and I don't want to know) I think it's very difficult to advise how contrite and apologetic to be.  It's a balance between "Well I'm very sorry if anyone was offended by my remark which I didn't realise that anybody might take offence at - I can assure you it certainly wasn't my intention to offend anyone at all" and on the other hand "Well I can't believe I posted that!  It must have been a moment of madness - I've no idea what I was thinking of!"  Only the OP will know how to balance it when they find out exactly what the basis of the complaint is.

OP - I hope that's of some help and I've not overcomplicated the issue.  But I'd forget the motives (if any) of the complainant and concentrate on getting the right tone to your apology - depending on the details of the complaint

ScottishGuy1122

Manxman_in_exile said:

Just a couple of comments:

1.  only the OP knows what they actually said on Facecrap.  I'm not making any assumptions about what they did say, but I'm not sure it's necessarily helpful to the OP for posters on here to be somewhat critical (and possibly abusive) of the complainant.  The last thing the OP needs tomorrow is to go into the meeting with any negative or critical thoughts about the complainant at all.  If the employer detects anything like that it's not going to go down well.  Also we already know the OP is in this mess (if it is a mess) because they tend to say what they think - without actually thinking.  The OP needs to forget everything about the complainant - they are not the issue.  (Or, TBH, I'd be surprised if they were).

2.  and this may sound a bit contrary to the above (but my point is that none of us knows what the OP said except the OP) I'm not so sure about saying "...terribly sorry...moment of madness...don't know what came over me... etc etc" because that's beginning to sound a bit bad to me and that I know I've done something really wrong.  Without knowing what the OP actually said (and I don't want to know) I think it's very difficult to advise how contrite and apologetic to be.  It's a balance between "Well I'm very sorry if anyone was offended by my remark which I didn't realise that anybody might take offence at - I can assure you it certainly wasn't my intention to offend anyone at all" and on the other hand "Well I can't believe I posted that!  It must have been a moment of madness - I've no idea what I was thinking of!"  Only the OP will know how to balance it when they find out exactly what the basis of the complaint is.

OP - I hope that's of some help and I've not overcomplicated the issue.  But I'd forget the motives (if any) of the complainant and concentrate on getting the right tone to your apology - depending on the details of the complaint

Yes, I suppose the difference is if they have just an allegation or the actual comment....if it's just an accusation, play it fairly neutral along the lines of "I'm very sorry I would not mean anything said to offend anyone" and if they have evidence and it's bad...then pull out the extra sorry and mitigation bit but still take ownership 

Manxman_in_exile

Adam - you're still about. 

Just looking back I see that in various posts you've accepted that you might sometimes respond with "stupid language"; that you may have posted something "that perhaps could be deemed to be racist"; and also that you may have have called someone a "****ing dip****" and something about them taking responsibility as a black man.  (Apologies if not entirely accurate but that's the gist - and I've just worked out what "dip(poo)" means!).

Now I wouldn't dwell on those, but if you've said that about yourself on here, it might be well worth taking half an hour or so to think about what damage limitation you can do if your employer comes anywhere near those sort of issues.

Good luck.  Do your best.

EDIT:  Sometimes people think better on their feet than if they've prepared something - so don't work yourself up into a nervous state trying to learn a word perfect script.  However, in your case I would suggest trying not to react to quickly to questions and just saying the first thing that comes into your mind, but to try counting to three or something before opening your mouth.