it's time to take first steps...very scared

tcalamity

hii'm fairly new to all of this but have been helped out on a couple of issues these last few weeks with my thanks.
i have been trying to pay off debts of £30 k for 5 years now havent got anywhere, most from my marriage breakup 7 years ago of which oh has got away with as i was the soft touch who caved in with creditors. i had children with him and of course he failed to pay maintanence, csa could not find him, filed for divorce, solictors could not find him. i went to work cared for my daughters. 2005 went on to a dmp with gregory pen, as i was at my wits end. not sleeping/eating/stressy mummy. its now 2007, nearly 3 years with GP and i did a credit check and it seems i have not paid off anything. i pay £88 to creditors and £25 to GP for the privilage. i have now asked gp for all balances up to date and i have also found out that two of the creditors did not receive the payment this month. i have taken the step today and got free advise from the church run debt help and they suggest br as it would take me 30/40 years to pay off i would be 70 i feel my life is wasted , i missed the quality time i should be spending with my children because i constantly worry/ dont sleep ect. the thing is i had met someone who is my partner and we set up home together in my ha house, we have had a baby 4mths ago. if i go br will he be liable. we have the same surname but are not married and are not linked financially. he does however help pay household bills(he also has his own personal credit, car, loan,cc) i am on maternity leave my smp finishes in january, so all i will have in my incomings is child beifit£217. and child tax cred £218.00.(smp £388. pm) all the oringinal debts were in my married name, i went on to change my name by deed poll in 2003. i feel br is my last option very scared of implication of my family and partner as they have nothing to do with it. any advise would be appreciated

Scarlett.1974

Hi there and welcome to the BR board

Don't be frightened, that's my 1st piece of advice. Knowledge is power as they say, so I would recommend you make yourself a cup of tea/coffee and have a good read of this website: http://www.insolvency.gov.uk/ it will answer almost any question you may have regarding BR

I would also strongly recommend you contact one of the FREE debt charities such as CCCS or National Debtline (in fact, it's a "must", IF you do go BR the judge will ask if you've taken professional advice and if you haven't then he/she could well refuse to allow your BR).

I have to dash off for half an hour now, but will be back later. In the meantime have a read of the website I've posted above and there will be others along very soon to help and advise you further

Scarlett xx

tcalamity

thank you for that, i have an appointment next tuesday with the debt advise centre at the church( its a member of ADVICEUK and supported by churches in this area) i tried CAB no appointments for weeks and i cant go on feeling so awful and low and worthless & embarrassed ect. i am supposed to be enjoying my baby, but i cant fully and my other girls. it was bad enough telling my partner for the first time a few weeks back, when i finally realised my dmp was not working.. i want to feel happy, all this from a failed marrage 7/8 years back...

Scarlett.1974

I can totally relate to all of those feelings and I know it's easier said than done, but you mustn't, it is only money at the end of the day and it's not worth upsetting yourself over so much <<hug>>.

IF you do decide that BR is the option for you then you'll get loads of advice and support on here (this place has, quite literally, saved my life in the last few weeks), everyone here has either been there or is currently going through it

I would still recommend you call CCCS or one of the other debt advice places for a chat. You wouldn't need to wait until next week then to start putting your mind at rest a bit. CCCS were absolutely wonderful when I called them (in floods of tears) and they helped me SO much, I can't recommend them enough

Best of luck to you, keep posting and if you have any questions don't hesitate to ask.

tcalamity

thanks appreciate it

Richard_S

Hi tcalamity,

If you haven't got a house to worry about losing then bankruptcy is probably the best way to draw a line under the mistakes of the past and put them where they belong; well and truly behind you.

Why wait until your meeting? Why not start filling the forms in now; it'll give you the feeling that you're taking control of events instead of just responding to them.

For the sake of your children, your future and yourself you really need to get things going as quickly as possible. There's lots of people on here who have recently completed the on-line forms so you won't be stuck with the less obvious parts of the forms.

There's a good chance you can have the deed done before Christmas, and that would give you that feeling of satisfaction that you really had got a completely New Year to look forward to.

Have you done much research into bankruptcy? E.g, if you have a regular surplus income you may be required to pay a percentage of that into an IPA for three years.

Apart from that; the future will be bright.

Best regards

Richard

fermi

If you have no joint financial ties then there should be no effect on your partner or family.

The only exception to this can be if you have been making payments that contribute to a partners mortgage. I'm assuming that doesn't apply to you.

The idea of BR is scary, but the reality is quite mundane really. If it's decided it's for the best then as said everyone here will help you through it.

Richard_S

Scarlett.1974 wrote: »

I would still recommend you call CCCS or one of the other debt advice places for a chat. You wouldn't need to wait until next week then to start putting your mind at rest a bit. CCCS were absolutely wonderful when I called them (in floods of tears) and they helped me SO much, I can't recommend them enough

Best of luck to you, keep posting and if you have any questions don't hesitate to ask.

Hi Scarlett,

I'd echo those comments about CCCS; I found them to be very professional and very supportive.

Obviously I can't admit to the tears because I'm a bleeerk.:D

Richard

Scarlett.1974

Richard_S wrote: »

Hi Scarlett,

I'd echo those comments about CCCS; I found them to be very professional and very supportive.

Obviously I can't admit to the tears because I'm a bleeerk.:D

Richard

Hi Richard,

Yes, VERY supportive, totally non judgemental and yep, very professional too. (Donna from CCCS - I love you!) I was on the phone for over an hour that morning and no question was too much for her, no concern too silly, she was, not to put too fine a point on it, an absolute star.

Bet you did have a little sniffle though , go on you can admit it, you're amongst friends here

Scarlett xx

tcalamity

i have no assets and no financial ties with partner, i am scared to start what if i fill something out wrong??

tcalamity

also all creditor info is with gregory pennington at present i have asked for balance ect.