What's wrong with me? wobble

Mozette

Have a big bar of chocolate!

cinnabar

It sounds to me like you're just feeling a bit of an anti-climax - even though you say you've found it pretty easy becoming debt-free, I'm assuming you've had to change yours ways a little - I think it'd be natural to feel anti-climactic since we often feel that once we've reached a goal that we've set that we should feel absolutely fantastic about everything - in my experience that's often not the case; you reach your goal and then either realise that some else needs sorting out (the constant uphill struggle) or if you find you're happy with the status quo not having that goal you were working towards can make you feel as if there's something missing.

If I were in your situation I think I'd let myself just relax for a little while without worrying too much about 'what next' - you're unlikely to carry on feeling like that forever, and TBH if you're happy with things, then just enjoy it! As far as the debt counselling goes, you don't know how you'll be at it till you try

Kevicho

silvercharming wrote: »

Since facing up to things all I have wanted to do

is be a debt counsellor and help other people who are in the same position as I was. Now I'm just thinking that I'm not the person for the job after all. Sorry if this sounds like a load of snivelling, I know I've got no right to moan, but I just needed to get all of this off my chest.

Thats a very noble and rewarding thing to want to do.

If you feel life is empty why not contact the CCCs or payplan and ask them for advice in getting started, and maybe getting the knowledge they require of there advisors.

The problem with most teachers is that they have never walked the walk, experience and knowledge is a great combination.


I think the fact youy feel you have had a "smooth ride" speaks volumes for your organisation, and determination to do what it takes to get out of the trap.

Good luck with this.

GeorgeUK

Hi Silvercharming.

From one "fraud" to another - congrats on the DFD.

You can see the end of your debt, but no new beginning. Don't let that stop you from utilising what you have learned so far. If one thing is clear from reading these forums, some people have got into huge difficulty through no real fault of their own. Being there to help them is commendable and i salute you for thinking of taking this a stage further.

Personally, i would have another look at my finances and put buffers in place. Your world looks complete and content, but there's no harm in shouring up the foundations so that something in the future won't unsettle that. You are quite happy renting where you are right now, but if LL decided to sell, would you be able to take on the mortgage or do you have a plan B?

Don't feel guilty about having nothing to worry about. It's an enviable position and i'm sure quite a few reading your threads would have big grins on their faces being in that position. You have fought and worked hard to get where you are now. You have possibly gotten into the habit of not spending money, but spending is not a bad thing. When you go to the sales and see something you like - don't look at the price first. Try it on and see if it fits, then decide whether it is worth the money instead of discrading the notion out of hand. Saving money is a good habit to have, but you can now expand your horizons a little more. Most of the fun things we do costs money to some degree. Try a few out (special offers only of course ) and get back to having a fun as well as debt free life.

I don't mean to make you sound like an old fuddy duddy that just sits at home all day counting their coppers and looking for the next saving to be made, but you have worked hard and deserve a reward for your labours. Just like dealing with the debts, don't try to jump in at the deep end and sort it all out in one swift go. You have time to relax and enjoy your self now and we all hope you do. Do something every day that makes you smile (that's about the extent of my stretching excercises too )

It almost seems that you've been worrying to some degree about the debt that now it will be gone, you are worried you will have nothing to worry about. Don't worry! I'm sure being debt free isn't going to be so bad.

Take care and let us know how you are doing.
Keep smiling.
George

Larumbelle

Thanks for your kind words guys :grouphug:

I've been looking out for jobs doing debt counselling, I keep seeing ones that look okay then they turn out to be for DCAs!!! Can you imagine me there? Look, love, calm down, don't pay up, we're just trying to scare you into paying money you don't have. Put the kettle on then go visit Rog2 on MSE, he'll give you a letter so you can tell my bosses to go f**k themselves.

I have written to CCCS but not heard anything yet. I never thought of CAB, I'll write to them I think.

I think you are right, what I am feeling is a massive sense of anticlimax. I thought I'd be shouting from the rooftops but I'm actually quite scared. Like, I've worked for this and now it's within reach it's not going to be such a big deal.

Also I am scared that I'll end up being a miser. GeorgeUK hit the nail on the head - I am scared I'll end up counting every penny when I don't need to, I'm scared to let go even a little bit. Which is daft really, because I was never really one for profligate spending in the first place. There are a few little things I have always wanted to do that I will, soon, like, I'm going to sponsor an african child, and take my mum on holiday, and I'm sure a few more things will come along. I like to do things that make other people happy, I'm just not sure spending on myself makes me happy. Like, for the last year we've been saying we'll get a new TV, but now we're in a position that we can, I just think, well, the old ones not exactly useless, it's just not convenient. All the things like that seem wasteful, even though at the same time I know they're not.

You know what really scares me? A lot of our problems come from OH's drug use. And he's been off them for 3 years now, and he says he doesn't want them, but I worry that with the money around to buy them it's one less reason for him not to, even though I trust him...

I'm just scared, and I don't know what of. Debt is all I've ever known, really. It's a bit of my identity going. Even though I hate it, it feels like a bereavement or something. I feel really stupid. Just ignore me, I'm sure I'll sort myself out soon. But thanks for being there for me and letting me get it all off my chest. I really didn't expect sympathy, you'd have been well within your rights to tell me to shut up and count my blessings. Which I'm trying to do, I promise. You guys are the best :grouphug:

SarahNeedle1872

silvercharming wrote: »

I've been looking out for jobs doing debt counselling, I keep seeing ones that look okay then they turn out to be for DCAs!!! Can you imagine me there? Look, love, calm down, don't pay up, we're just trying to scare you into paying money you don't have. Put the kettle on then go visit Rog2 on MSE, he'll give you a letter so you can tell my bosses to go f**k themselves.

Hi SC, I know ur having a serioius moment, but this just made me laugh so much I woke the baby :rotfl:

Re the money situation, I know what u mean about being scared.... I've been thinking about it and I'm no where near debt free yet! U just *know* that the money's gonna burn a hole in ur pocket!

Good luck with everything, u've done really well... and I hope ur successful with the job hunting!

Sarah x

tontopav

Dont worry that you dont feel
Like blowing all your dough
Look back remember how it was
How far you had to go

Look to the future and make sure
That what you need you get
Congratulate yourself each day
Theres no more rotten debt

TAG

I've been looking out for jobs doing debt counselling, I keep seeing ones that look okay then they turn out to be for DCAs!!! Can you imagine me there? Look, love, calm down, don't pay up, we're just trying to scare you into paying money you don't have. Put the kettle on then go visit Rog2 on MSE, he'll give you a letter so you can tell my bosses to go f**k themselves.

Actually, many years ago, god that makes me sound old but I'm not really. Ex H and me were up to our eyeballs in debt. We had regular doorstep collectors. All but one were right b******s . He was a lovely chap. His approach was so different to all the others. Why? Because he had been in the same situation as us. He never pressured us, never got funny if one week we didn't have the money. And we always made sure we caught up the following week if we did miss a week. But only for him.

In the end we missed him when he didn't have to call anymore.

I can relate to your fears re your OH. My DH gambles. I've managed to rein him in to chucking away £30 a week though on accasion this does increase to £50. It's a hell of an improvement on the £300 plus he was doing. But I worry as well what will happen when more funds become available to us.