What's wrong with me? wobble

Larumbelle

Hi all. This is a bit of a grumble but I just wanted to let everyone know what is going on with me.

I was ill last weekend and stopped posting for a few days because I was in too much pain to sit up. I'm fine, now, physically, but I seem to have developed a bit of a block.

I'm going to be debt free in February if I don't sort anything out with various banks/cards and sooner if I do. I'm really happy, but I'm starting to think, what's next? I have been cutting back for so long that I've stopped wanting things. That's a good thing, right?

Well now I'm wondering what is the point, all of my motivation is draining away, because other than wanting to stay out of debt (which will be quite easy, I live within my means now) I don't have any aims. I'm not going all out for a new job because I like the one I've got and I don't need the money from a promotion. I don't want to buy a house because I love the house I'm renting on a long-term lease, and I don't want kids so I don't need an inheritance for them. I don't really want to travel, no educational courses have caught my eye... I just feel like I don't want anything I haven't already got, and I can't help wondering how I'm going to live with no aims whatsoever. I feel like I'm such an awful person for not wanting anything better.

I feel like a fraud, as well, giving out advice because aside from the obvious things like getting rid of stuff I don't need and not buying stuff I don't need, my road out of debt has been fairly smooth. Most of my debt was paid off fairly quickly from refunded bank charges and my second job, and my redundancy. I haven't hit rock bottom since that first post about the bailiffs turning up, I got that sorted out relatively easily and since then it's really just been fine tuning. So a lot of the time I'm not speaking from my own experience, just other peoples'. I've picked up knowledge but it's all come vicariously. I feel like a hypocrite telling people 'you really need to do this' when sheer good luck stopped me from having to. I know that makes me a lucky person but I don't really feel like I should be telling people what to do.

Since facing up to things all I have wanted to do is be a debt counsellor and help other people who are in the same position as I was. Now I'm just thinking that I'm not the person for the job after all. Sorry if this sounds like a load of snivelling, I know I've got no right to moan, but I just needed to get all of this off my chest.

dsljfreeman

:grouphug: :kisses3: Sounds like you are very down in the dumps.

I don't really know what advice to give but the debt councilling sounds like an excellent route, you certainly know what it's like.

Plus it doesn't matter how you paid off your debts, the fact is you are and that is as good as anything.

xx

Andy_Edinburgh

I don't think they're anything "wrong" with you - quite the opposite in fact; you sound perfectly stable and well-balanced to me.

I'd say you're ideal as a debt counsellor because you don't want any of the unnecessary cr_p the financial industry tell you that you "need".

Companies have made obscene profits from the misery of selling aspirational dreams to people that can't afford it.

Lemon_Tree

i think that with your own personal experience you'd make a good debt counsellor. I've considered doing the same once i'm debt free, possibly even when i'm not far off the target.
Have you taken a look at what sort of skills etc they need from a counsellor or even volunteering at CAB?

PasturesNew

There's nothing wrong with not wanting anything.
I never want things.
I live frugally. VERY frugally.
Yet I have more money than most and more than I can spend (if I ever DID spend).

The way I see it is: one day there WILL be something I want ... and when that time comes, I will be able to have it.

And, actually, I get a perverse satisfaction from living frugally. From every penny saved.

I do, however, spend money on things that I "justify" from the savings I've made. e.g. I bought a £2 flask and take hot water to work - saving me £1/day in buying coffees. Now, the £5/week saved pays for my takeaway at the weekend.

So, I prefer to see it as valuing money and what it can buy because: you can ONLY ever spend it ONCE.

The only "worry" I have is that I will suddenly die ... not having blown the lot on fast cars and faster men

As for you feeling you are handing to people advice you have never had to use .... most professionals read things in books and pass that knowledge on. So don't feel bad about knowing things that will help others that don't know them, or don't have the clarity to recognise the solution and apply it.

southernscouser

I have similar worries in that I'm quite a stubborn g!t. I've got an aim and I won't rest until I've completed it.

After I'm debt free I know I will feel like there is something missing from my life, debt obviously, and thats why we are all here. But I will miss it in a funny sort of way. It's my purpose right now!

But I will replace it with another mindset, buying a house.

I know none of this helps you! :rotfl:

But how about, is there anything you'd like to do? Voluntary work perhaps? Could it be possible to do less hours at work if you don't need the money and offer your time to helping others?

Do you want to see all the corners of the globe? Could you work towards a massive holiday fund? Just a target to work towards.

tealady

Hi Silver. You ask "Whats the point". Well I see the point as being if you clear your debts you could be an inspiration to someone else who reads your thread.
If there is nothing you want then you could save it, spend it or give some away. I think you are just on a bit of a downer right now (happens to us all), and when you are back to your cheerful self you will see that you have a lot to offer the world.

hypno06

If you want to be a debt counsellor, then be one! Who better to do a job like that than someone who has been in debt, and if it weren't for the good luck might still be so. The motivation of getting debt free will be replaced with the motivation of helping others.

TAG

silvercharming wrote: »

Hi all. This is a bit of a grumble but I just wanted to let everyone know what is going on with me.

I was ill last weekend and stopped posting for a few days because I was in too much pain to sit up. I'm fine, now, physically, but I seem to have developed a bit of a block.

I'm going to be debt free in February if I don't sort anything out with various banks/cards and sooner if I do. I'm really happy, but I'm starting to think, what's next? I have been cutting back for so long that I've stopped wanting things. That's a good thing, right?

Well now I'm wondering what is the point, all of my motivation is draining away, because other than wanting to stay out of debt (which will be quite easy, I live within my means now) I don't have any aims. I'm not going all out for a new job because I like the one I've got and I don't need the money from a promotion. I don't want to buy a house because I love the house I'm renting on a long-term lease, and I don't want kids so I don't need an inheritance for them. I don't really want to travel, no educational courses have caught my eye... I just feel like I don't want anything I haven't already got, and I can't help wondering how I'm going to live with no aims whatsoever. I feel like I'm such an awful person for not wanting anything better.

I feel like a fraud, as well, giving out advice because aside from the obvious things like getting rid of stuff I don't need and not buying stuff I don't need, my road out of debt has been fairly smooth. Most of my debt was paid off fairly quickly from refunded bank charges and my second job, and my redundancy. I haven't hit rock bottom since that first post about the bailiffs turning up, I got that sorted out relatively easily and since then it's really just been fine tuning. So a lot of the time I'm not speaking from my own experience, just other peoples'. I've picked up knowledge but it's all come vicariously. I feel like a hypocrite telling people 'you really need to do this' when sheer good luck stopped me from having to. I know that makes me a lucky person but I don't really feel like I should be telling people what to do.

Since facing up to things all I have wanted to do is be a debt counsellor and help other people who are in the same position as I was. Now I'm just thinking that I'm not the person for the job after all. Sorry if this sounds like a load of snivelling, I know I've got no right to moan, but I just needed to get all of this off my chest.

Hi silvercharming,

Firstly I'd like to say well done on your impending debt free date. I don't know how long it's taken you but from reading your post you sound as though you've dealt with it in a logical and well planned manner.

Your not a fraud. You may think that because you sorted things out relativley easily your not 'worthy' to give advice (I don't mean that nastily I just couldn't think of another way to put it) but you did deal with it all very successfully.

The CAB are always on the look out for vouleenters. They put you through an extensive training programme and eventually you could have the opportunity to specialise in debt counselling and then even further to a paid position with them. I know their training puts you in good stead for other jobs too. IMO the best debt counsellors are the ones that have been there done it and come out the otherside. Go for it!!

As for not 'wanting' material things or holidays etc. You may feel differently once it does all really become an option. If not then save it till that day does come.

WELL DONE YOU :T

Chin up xx

GettingThingsDone

Hi silvercharming - well done on doing so well. It's probably just a lull as the end is now clearly in sight. Kinda the angst of the human condition stuff?

Personally, I keep a folder of 'someday/maybe' things. Every time I think of something I'd like to do, be or have I write it down on its own piece of A4 and put it into my folder and then forget about it.

Every now and again, when I am bored or can't see a way forwards, or whatever, I open the folder and flick through and see what catches my eye. It works for me anyways...

gtd

Gale_10

I just want to say, if I go to hospital and get nursed and looked after, I don't expect the nurse to have had whatever ailment I am suffering from.

Someone on here has the signature that says : "Learn from others mistakes, you wont have time to make them all yourself."

If you know something and it helps someone, doesn't matter where that knowledge comes from, it helps someone and that is the main point.:D

Gale