It's complicated, but I'm optimistic.

Exodi

Singlespeeder wrote: »

Thank you for your candidness !
No, I didn't cheat with one of her relatives

Sometimes fiscal situations are not as obvious as they look.
The house is only actually worth anything if we intend to sell it.
It's home to my ex, and our children, albeit recently grown up.
It was always our intention for the house to be passed to them upon our demise.
I do have an interest in several other properties, and also stand to inherit a reasonably significant legacy in due course. So it may be prudent to be generous and take a hit now, and not have to divvy stuff up later.
Even the ex has suggested we re evaluate if and when she meets someone else.

I don't feel particularly hard done by. I may need my head looking at but it doesn't feel like that at the moment.

Despite me thinking you'd be better placed in a psychiatric ward than posting on here, I concede that you'll be more aware of the specifics of your situation than us and as such, it should be taken into consideration that my view is based on the things that have been discussed.

My final input would be that if you have an interest in several properties and stand to inherit a significant legacy in the future, deliberately delaying the divvying up of assets may be catastrophic.

You say 'it may be prudent to be generous and take a hit now, and not have to divvy stuff up later' but have mentioned the ex has suggested you 're evaluate if and when she meets someone else.'. I know you mentioned you were beginning divorce conversations but you realise delaying the consent order long enough could mean she may set her sights on your inheritances... Again, I still think you're stark raving mad as you seem to be grateful that she's willing to extend your current arrangement (and you know my thoughts on this).

Singlespeeder

I'm keen to get the divorce settled as soon as possible. I believe she is happy with this too. We do still get on very well and there is little animosity between us. I do not believe she has any grand designs on future inheritances, she simply doesn't want to be forced out of her home, which I understand. We should be able to sort the fiscal arrangements amicably and without solicitors.

Exodi

Singlespeeder wrote: »

I'm keen to get the divorce settled as soon as possible. I believe she is happy with this too. We do still get on very well and there is little animosity between us. I do not believe she has any grand designs on future inheritances, she simply doesn't want to be forced out of her home, which I understand. We should be able to sort the fiscal arrangements amicably and without solicitors.

Good, that's fantastic to hear. I apologise that I've come across as cynical - I read countless threads where the ex has decided to take their partner to the cleaners and I'd almost lost faith that two people can behave amicably during divorce proceedings. I hope you reach an agreement that works worth you both - agree with the suggestion on not involving solicitors, no-one wins in that scenario (well except them I guess).

Singlespeeder

Morning all. It's been a while. Things are continuing ok, the debt is coming down.
I may shortly be debt free, as I think we've found a suitable divorce arrangement. Fingers crossed.
We still get on well and are more than civil to each other.
The grown up kids still live in the familial house with the ex.
She loves the house and has invested time and effort into getting it how she want's it.
She doesn't want to leave and can't possibly afford to buy me out.
I could demand my half of everything , but it 'd definitely put her and the kids out on the street which I am obviously not prepared to do. I get on extremely well with my children, and want this to continue.

I'm still set for paying just shy of £60k , the outstanding mortgage and the debt.
I'm happy to walk away from the house if she takes over the £60k debt. She can (just) afford it on a remortgage, and she'll get my £90k of equity. And no further claim on me or my finances.
She's doing pretty well out of this . But the way I see it , the house was for the kids anyway so the 'equity' would only ever be realised if we sold it, which I doubt she will.
I'm moving on.
I'll be £750 a month better off with zero debt.
Ok I don't have a house but I'm doing ok.

How do we make the Full and Final settlement watertight?
I seriously doubt she'd try and get half my pension in due course. But, having given up so much equity, what do I need to do to ensure no further liability?

Andyjflet

Singlespeeder wrote: »

Turns out the combined debt is near £45k
In an attempt to shift the worst bit, the Tesco Credit Card (it's got a staggering credit limit of £15,200 ! with a balance of a little over £4000,) to a 0% I applied for a Santander 27 month 0% card .
When asked how I intended to pay the debt off, I being an honest fella, said £155 monthly DD. I'd calculated this is what I'd need to pay to clear it.
I got declined. First time ever.
Concerned, I went to Experian and checked my credit rating.
972. 'Excellent'
972 out of a possible 999

I can only suspect Santander declined because they weren't going to make any money on it. Which tbh is fair enough.
Lesson learned.

About to do a SOA ...gulp.

I work in finance, they would have declined you based on your current level of debt and now on TCF and responsible lending would assume they felt it wasnt RL to be giving you further credit.

Unicorn_cottage

Go and see a solicitor am sure you can get an initial consultation free.

How's Northampton going?

Loved reading this thread and how well you took Exodi's comments. It did make me chuckle!

Singlespeeder

UC - Northampton is going very well thank you. It's a bit sorry for itself but has great pubs and is in a great location. I like it. I commute by train which is 30 mins each way - a good time for reading!
Thanks for asking.:D

Singlespeeder

Afternoon all, things are sort of slow going at the moment as we're sort of working out the finer details of the divorce.
The odd thing is it's bought me a bit of time, and space. I'm now only paying the interest on the big debt (£24,700), it's about £115 a month (I wonder if it'll decrease with the 0.5% interest rate drop ?? , I've been told the mortgage will from April and as the loan rate is based on the mortgage rate, it might !!) . I reluctant to pay more off as the divorce deal may include me picking some of it up, and I'd rather pay any more money of MY portion of it.... if that makes any sense. Writing that , I wonder if I should really continue hitting it as hard as I can
I continue to pay the mortgage (overpaying still by 107% ( again this may increase as the mortgage rate drops )) I don't have a problem with that.
The daughters phone contract I'm paying finishes in May/June so that'll be £50 pcm to the good.
I sorted though a load of paperwork yesterday and realized I've not used a credit card in over a year ... so why do I still have 2?  I phoned Lloyds and got rid of that one. I'll keep the Barclaycard, for now. 
So, I have a single large debt, which I'm maintaining. No O/D. No credit. I've finally started trying to build an Emergency Fund of £1000 .... it's slow going but I'll get there.
Loving my new Starling account as I can control my money really well with it. All accounts should be like this.
Hoping the Divorce will be sorted in the next 6 months, and my future will be much clearer. It's brighter than it was.

Andyjflet

Singlespeeder said:

UC - Northampton is going very well thank you. It's a bit sorry for itself but has great pubs and is in a great location. I like it. I commute by train which is 30 mins each way - a good time for reading!
Thanks for asking.:D

Funnily enough I'm also 52 and recently moved to Northampton, I'm near Moulton.

Singlespeeder

I'm Abington and near the Cricket Ground.