Buffy's 30 Month Plan

Sun_Addict

Glad you're feeling a bit better xx

RosaBernicia

Glad you're feeling better. Sun, swimming and decluttering... go you, all good

What is it about the dating sites that's grim?

Are you going to stick your sales profits in the HTB?


Rosa xx

Honeysucklelou2

Well done on the decluttering, sounds like you've had a busy day.

Buffythedebtslayer

I will put the sales money in my emergency fund...One of my "things" was to raise a 1000 during the year. I had sort of forgotten about that.

the dating sites are just lacking any talent at all. I listened to Decluttering at the speed of light today and it was so interesting. Really good book.

Buffythedebtslayer

So one good day and then back to feeling a crushing weight on my ribs.

I think I know why. Stupid little brain. The Crush came home yesterday from his holidays. So yesterday I was full of the hope - not that "I" acknowledged this anywhere.

Today we are back to the he hasn't texted he isn't going to text it is all over and I just want to be back at WORK and not left alone with my own bloody stupid thoughts. BRAIN SHUT THE !!!! UP OK?

I honestly don't think I could be more utterly FURIOUS with myself.

He is !!!!ed up little bunny of a man and God knows as much as I like him I don't need anyone else to be responsible for. This is a good thing. It is. IT IS.

I just thought he was right for me in so many ways. I thought I could have loved him. He was funny and kind and really wanted to make a difference for our students. oh !!!! off.

And underlying all this is the depressing state of my life so I suppose he did represent an escape from that.

I am allowed to be disappointed.

I deleted him off the phone this morning all the messages and pictures everything. I hate feeling like this. I want to feel better. And stop looking at my phone every five minutes. I am switching it off for a bit.

I actually feel like running away. And crying. A lot For God's sake!

But I m going out to lunch in a couple of hours. Then it will be back to de-cluttering. I was going to take the stuff to charity today but I don't think I will have time. I still have two underbed boxes to go through and another mysterious box of God knows what in the wardrobe. Do you know I found a box of perfume - as in candle, perfume, cream etc yesterday! Never even knew I had it...

I will be so much happier back at work. What a waste of a holiday.

So sorry to come on here and be like this. Thank you for being here, honestly not looking for sympathy today just needed to vent.

XXX

Honeysucklelou2

Vent away....it's better to be able to articulate your thoughts and express them in some way.

Hope you have a good time when you go out for lunch.

Pooky

Yay to the decluttering, I hate the selling side of things too but needs must. I've got tons of stuff boxed in the garage ready to do a boot sale in a few weeks time. Whatever is left will go to charity but I need my chance of making a few quid first,

As for crush, the feelings will fade and it's great that you've admitted to yourself that he's not perfect and was a bit of an escape plan. You will find your happy ever after, you've just got to be ready for it.

RosaBernicia

Oh Buffy you are allowed to be disappointed and to vent and to shout and to whatever. Including to like and love !!!!ed up little bunnies (which as far as I know is most of us, it's just a case of finding one whose !!!!-ups fit with your own).

I hope you had a good lunch out.

Did you call the doctors? Not meaning to nag, but.


Rosa xx

Buffythedebtslayer

Honeysucklelou2 wrote: »

Vent away....it's better to be able to articulate your thoughts and express them in some way.

Hope you have a good time when you go out for lunch.

thank you XX It was a nice day in the end.

Pooky wrote: »

Yay to the decluttering, I hate the selling side of things too but needs must. I've got tons of stuff boxed in the garage ready to do a boot sale in a few weeks time. Whatever is left will go to charity but I need my chance of making a few quid first,

As for crush, the feelings will fade and it's great that you've admitted to yourself that he's not perfect and was a bit of an escape plan. You will find your happy ever after, you've just got to be ready for it.

I hope I do Pooky. I really hope I do.

RosaBernicia wrote: »

Oh Buffy you are allowed to be disappointed and to vent and to shout and to whatever. Including to like and love !!!!ed up little bunnies (which as far as I know is most of us, it's just a case of finding one whose !!!!-ups fit with your own).

I hope you had a good lunch out.

Did you call the doctors? Not meaning to nag, but.


Rosa xx

thank you Rosa XX Means a lot to be "allowed" If that makes any sense!

I had a lovely day yesterday. The friend I met up with is so good to me. Today was not so good real low point this morning. But it has improved. I have removed 10 bags of donations from my room. The lady in the charity shop was lovely and the other woman there came in cos she wanted to know what I was on cos I was so happy! I was just being me, I think I just like people and being around people.

I then went out and treated myself to some fish. For my tank not for dinner! Tho I am off to get that in minute. The guy in the fish shop was lovely as well, he gave me some free fish

xxx

Sun_Addict

It's a shame the crush didn't work out but he sounds like hard work which you don't need. One day your prince will come