Finally admitting I'm in debt :(

StillStudenting

Hi!
So I've joined this site as I need help! 12 months of following a Facebook page about '3 lettering' debt and I'm none the wiser and still drowning in debt!

Background: I became a mature student 2011 and opened a student bank account.I already had a Very and Next account that I used for kids clothes and was clearing them every couple of months.
If at any point you're wondering how i was given so much credit, despite being a housewife then student we had a 'household income' of over £60,000 (however my husband soon started keeping all his income to his self, read on)

I was given a Credit Card in 2012 with a £3000 limit and used some of it to close my Very account. Soon began using it for essentials when I had no money, husband decided he didn't agree with me leaving the children to study so refused to share income from this point onwards (petrol, kids clothes etc). Limit increased to £6000 so I also used it to buy a cheap car to drive to uni as I wasn't allowed to drive family car in case Husband needed it (He was SE but main office at home)

I graduated with a First and won a monetary award and used it to slightly dent my CC. Won a place to study a Ph.D, Fees paid but no maintenance.

I was then given a £2000 overdraft in 2014 when i became a Post-grad student and with no access to household income or student grants it soon went.

Living in an owned outright home I was managing paying minimum on the card and ignored the overdraft. Then I got a text in 2016 saying my limit was increased to £9000 and I stupidly started spending (day to day needs, paid my huge private dentist bill etc.)

This whole time I wasn't receiving any benefits remember as household income was too big.

Then my circumstances changed. I had to move out because of DV and all of a sudden I had rent to pay and two children to pay for ( no claim to house after fleeing DV as it was owned outright by Husband not me).

So here I am trying to rid myself of this built up debt -

1. Barclaycard - £8,500
2. Next - £3000
3. Overdraft - £1300
4. Car Finance - £6000 outstanding (£173 pm)

Income -

1. £530 a month from assistant job in University (still writing Ph.D so can't apply for FT job)
2. £189 - a week Tax Credits
3. £135 - a month CHB

I get NO maintenance as Ex Husband is SE and has been giving himself no income since February (when I left). Maintenance service said there was nothing they could do despite having proof he's just paid cash for a new (luxury) car.

Currently I have £500 in the bank

Where do I start?

EssexHebridean

Firstly, how on earth did you get told you had no claim to anything on the house if you were married and had children together? You need to seek proper legal advice on that one for definite - the fact that it was owned by him doesn't necessarily make a difference. Hopefully someone with more knowledge than I have on the question of Child Support will come along and advise on that side of things - remember though it's CHILD support you're talking about, not maintenance for yourself.

Beyond that the first step is to put together a proper SOA (Statement of Affairs) detailing all your income and outgoings - check out the "sticky" posts at the top of the board, our usual SOA calculator on Stoozing.com has been down for the last week or so but there is a link to a different one that may help in MSE Andrea's post. Go back over bank and card statements - make sure you include everything in there - even stuff that gets paid irregularly like insurances etc.

Remember when you fill out the SOA not to muddle monthly and weekly as you have above - work out the tax credits on a 4 payments per month basis if they're paid weekly to make life easier. Once the SOA is complete copy and paste it into here and we can take a look - the main thing for a start will be making sure you can make ends meet from month to month as you HAVE to stop using the credit cards as a matter of urgency.

HopefulHumphrey

get yourself down to citizens advice, or better, a women's support charity and get some advice on claiming what's yours regarding the house and child maintenance. They should also be able to support you with advice on benefits. I went to Solace when I left my previous partner and they were really helpful.


It doesn't sound right the CM shut your case based on your ex having 0 income declared. They must be able to take this further. If not, CAB or a women's charity should be able to give you advice. If you haven't, don't shut the case as it costs £20 every time you make a new claim!


As above, when you get a chance to a SOA, it really helps to give you perspective (although you seem very aware) and have a look on Step Change and Debt Camel websites to think about what method will be best for you for managing your debt and repayment.


If your creditors are hounding you; give them all a call and let them know that you are seeking support for managing your debts and they will give you some breathing space. However, they may also freeze all of your accounts, so if you are still relying on them, hold off.

StillStudenting

Sorry - I had to sign away rights to this house 6 years ago - We lived in our first house for 3 years then when ExH grandmother died her home went to her daughter (my Ex MIL) who then was pressured into giving it to ExH as he wanted us to have a 'big family home'. Worried about their family assets Ex MIL instructed her solicitor to produce a document which I had to sign to say I had no claim on the house.

I have been trying for 7 months, all his money is hidden (his mother and father are directors to his company along with him) child maintenance have said the only route could possibly be me taking him to court where they would then calculate costs based on his spending habits, assets and company dividends, but I have no money to do this!

I have attached a link to the SOA - FYI For the past 6 months I have been privately renting but I couldn't continue as the rent was too much so have moved in with Grandparents as they have 3 spare rooms for me and the children so for now this is the relevant in-comings and outgoings. But it's likely before Christmas I will be in rental accommodation again.

None of my family know of my debt so i cannot ask them for money. I can't do a DRO as I need my car! and thinking ahead to completion of my doctorate, many job positions will be within the Police or HM Courts so and IVA and Bankruptcy are a no-no.

Credit Card has been cut up months ago, I can't close my Next account without paying it off so I just have to avoid it. My Car is on HP and i pay £173 a month until Nov 2020.



* sorry as a new user i can't post link to the SOA

StillStudenting

HopefulHumphrey wrote: »

get yourself down to citizens advice, or better, a women's support charity and get some advice on claiming what's yours regarding the house and child maintenance. They should also be able to support you with advice on benefits. I went to Solace when I left my previous partner and they were really helpful.


It doesn't sound right the CM shut your case based on your ex having 0 income declared. They must be able to take this further. If not, CAB or a women's charity should be able to give you advice. If you haven't, don't shut the case as it costs £20 every time you make a new claim!


As above, when you get a chance to a SOA, it really helps to give you perspective (although you seem very aware) and have a look on Step Change and Debt Camel websites to think about what method will be best for you for managing your debt and repayment.


If your creditors are hounding you; give them all a call and let them know that you are seeking support for managing your debts and they will give you some breathing space. However, they may also freeze all of your accounts, so if you are still relying on them, hold off.

Thanks I've been to Citizens advice re. House etc. not much I can do as I signed rights away. I was working with a DV charity and they helped with benefits etc. but we came to a dead end with maintenance. Had I stayed in the house I could have pursued legal action for the DV but worried about the children I just left.

They didn't shut the case just said I was entitled to £2.50 p/w as his last tax return showed his income as below tax threshold.

Nobody is hounding me yet as I am still making minimum payments, but It's not making a dent because of interest and It's finally got to the end for me as to what I can take, I can't sleep at night worrying.



I just want one monthly payment to handle them all, without affecting job prospects, not bothered about credit rating at the moment as I don't plan on taking any credit out and any property I will be renting in the future will be in my grandparents name.

HopefulHumphrey

Flipping heck.
I completely understand. I was and still am set against going down a formal insolvency route and even though I hate my car payments, until I can afford to buy a cheap car I cannot do without the one I have on extortionate finance.
Read the DMP thread about starting up your own Debt management plan. I have managed to do it, using template letters, calling them and sending them information on my IandE.
if you are firm, honest and stick your ground they will let you do it.
Step Change can also set one up for you if you prefer and I think they will do it as 1 monthly payment that they divvy up among your creditors a bit like an IVA, but not an IVA. Although I am not 100% as I didn't use them.


Like you I am in the process of moving back to my mums to help cut costs and get myself sorted. It's crap in terms of self confidence, but I am doing what I can around the house to help and I give housekeeping as a gesture. Both make me feel less crap about asking for the space and help.


Good luck and please keep us updated on progress.

National_Debtline

Hi StillStudenting

Are you able to tell us how much your SOA showed you had left over each month? That’s after paying any essential outgoings but before paying any debts. And do you have an idea of what it will look like when you move into rented accommodation?

Make sure the income you do receive is in a safe place, where your creditors can’t touch it, by banking somewhere you have no debt. It’s also worth checking with some professional bodies or trade unions if your planned area of employment will definitely be ruled out if you consider an IVA or bankruptcy.

If you can’t consider those options you can always try and self negotiate. You can send your SOA to your creditors and ask them to accept reduced payments and freeze interest. A DMP may also be an option, depending on how much you have spare each month. One of the free debt advice charities can explain your options in more detail. Good luck with it all.

Susie
@natdebtline

EssexHebridean

You should be able to just copy & paste the SOA into here I think? It comes out a bit "messy looking" compared to the usual one but we can usually work with them.

As for your ex, personally I'd be very tempted to report him to HMRC as it sounds like they would enjoy investigating how he manages to get no taxable income and yet still buy a brand new car outright...

ReadingTim

StillStudenting wrote: »

and thinking ahead to completion of my doctorate, many job positions will be within the Police or HM Courts so and IVA and Bankruptcy are a no-no.

I don't know what the Ph.D. is in, but is it likely to lead to a job in the police or Courts Service? I agree there are roles where bankruptcy will be a problem (to put it mildly...), but how many of them also require a Ph.D.?!?

Whilst it's going to be hard when you're close to finishing, but it might come down to being a decision between the debt or the doctorate, and if I'm being honest, the debt is the greater priority. A Ph.D. is an expensive luxury which you probably can't afford at this stage. I'd be speaking to the university to see if you can postpone finishing it up, or go part time.

Your debt isn't that bad, but you simply don't earn enough - a full time job for a year or two would make a serious dent in the debt, and you ought to be able to come back to the doctorate when you're in a position to better afford it.

HairyHandofDartmoor

You may be able to offer your creditors token payments of £1 a month until you finish your studies and get a full time job. My DH and myself did this for two years until our situation improved, as our income was too low to go on a debt management plan. During that two years our creditors froze our interest and charges.

Windofchange

Your ex husband sounds like a !!!!!! - why isn't he paying child maintenance regardless of whether he legally has to or not!? As for the rest of it - you say you brought a cheap car, but still have a £6,000 outstanding debt on it. This doesn't sound like you brought a 20 year old ford fiesta! Can you sell it? Would selling it cover what is outstanding, or at least make a large dent in it? As per other posts, I don't buy the I need a car because of x,y,z argument. There are push bikes, busses etc. Earning around £1500 a month you can't afford to run it I would say?

How about extra work? I went back to uni as a mature student and was at one point working 4 jobs ontop of my course to make ends meet. I didn't have children to worry about granted, but you either need to cut your expenses such as the car, or increase your income. Any skills you have that you could work from home with? Given you're doing a phd then I am assuming you are fairly literate - proof reading essays? Tutoring?

You need to hit whatever the most expensive debt is first. If they are all equal, I would get rid of the smallest first - it's what I did when clearing 10's of thousands of debt over the past few years, and it gives you a sense of achievement when you can cancel an account.

Don't go down the consolidation loan route. You will likely just run it all back up again. Been there, got the t-shirt.