Worried about son's debts

enthusiasticsaver

I would be concerned if either of my daughters had that level of debt and have drummed into them from very young the dangers of being overcommitted debtwise. I can understand therefore your concerns and you are right, it is a different world. One of the unforeseen consequences of low interest rate, high student debt etc is that high levels of debt are seen as the norm. It is only when people reach a level when they are paying out so much in debt repayments they don't have enough to live that they tend to start addressing it. Hopefully as your son is embarrassed by it and has said they are reducing it then this will be resolved in the next few years. I also think you were right to say something.

worriedDan

My dad has been an amazing support to me over the last few weeks. I'm glad he knows about my debts. You may find that your son is reassured by having you too offload to.

From what you've written, it sounds like he has things under control. If the debt was increasing then it would be a different story altogether. He obviously has a plan so that is half the battle. Try not to show that you're disappointed if possible.

itsallabitmuch

Well done you for not only broaching the subject with your son, but obviously doing so in a manner that has made him feel like he can open up to you more about it.

You're obviously a very supportive Mom - keep going on that track. Don't hassle him about it, but let him know that he can offload to you if he ever needs to.

Those who gave me my first few bits of advice on here last month know that I hadn't told my Mom. She now knows. She's not happy, but she IS supportive. It's lovely knowing I haven't got to 'be careful about what I say' around her.

Just wanted to let you know that, although your son seems on top of it all, you've opened up a line where he can come to you if he needs to talk, and that's amazing.

freeisgood

Totally with you mother TG....I am very naive...I always assumed that when people got new cars or got house extensions or married it was because they saved up and spend with cash. I am totally shocked at this level of dept being the norm. I have got to my mid 40 ties with not even an overdraft. or credit card and I don't earn much.


But more recently I realise it is the norm.

[Deleted User]

OP back in the day I never worried about debt as long as it didn't exceed the equity in our house.

kindofagilr

motherTG wrote: »

Hello,

My son is 31, married with a child. Both him and his wife have good careers and I estimate they earn around £75,000 per year household income.

My son was completing some forms last week in order to make a will. He asked me to check some details. There was a section that required them to list their debts and I saw it! I was horrified to see that they owe around 35k on credit cards and a loan. He was extremely embarrassed that I had seen it. I told him that I was shocked. We have never really had big debt and it terrifies me.

He has assured me that there are no issues and that they manage it well. Apparently some of it is car debt. The rest is credit cards that they have transferred to 0% in order to clear it quicker. they don't appear to be in any finnancial hardship....but 35K!! I am gobsmacked that they are so relaxed about it.

My husband has told me to mind my own business and that ourson and his wife are no different to lots of young couples. I can't help but worry that they are going to end up in a mess.

You will have to trust your son when he says he is managing it, I won't tell my parents about our debt either as they would worry

But we have just over £37k debt and earn a fraction of what your son does (combine earnings of £39k) and we are managing it (it's all on 0%)

Try not too worry xx

Mofette

kindofagilr wrote: »

You will have to trust your son when he says he is managing it, I won't tell my parents about our debt either as they would worry

But we have just over £37k debt and earn a fraction of what your son does (combine earnings of £39k) and we are managing it (it's all on 0%)

Try not too worry xx

I just signed up for a new car, meaning £19k of 'debt' to my name for it.

Honestly, the 10 year old car I have has cost me more than it's worth over the last 6 months, so this will save me money in repair and tax, be more reliable and more fuel efficient.

Saving 22k would have taken me 4 years, in which time my current car would've spent all that. It's not the 'best' way to operate, but it's at least secured in the value of the car (until I drive it off the lot, haha)