Derek's story

VfM4meplse

"The most terrible poverty is loneliness and the feeling of being unloved." Mother Teresa.

We go through life being so busy, I'd hate to get to a time when I have no one to talk to, not know how to fill my days. The article has made me think about giving some time to Age UK.

monnagran

Actually there are an awful lot of people on this forum who are both lonely, financially desperate and old. I can think offhand of quite a few. Though they may not wish to advertise the fact,but they do love the support, company, fun and financial tips they pick up here

Nelski

Check out the new forum board guide ..:T

Volunteers for Age UK can be there for all kinds of support. It would be great if more people became befrienders. Potentially these people speak to nobody all week

[Deleted User]

I am very lucky that although being old , I have a strong family around me,but I know personally of various people whom I visit, to whom I am the first person they have spoken to in days.
I live in an area where my neighbours are brilliant and keep an eye out for each other. There are thousands of people who never speak to anyone maybe for a week or more ,especially if they can't get out.I make a point of trying to keep in touch with as many as I can.

Sometimes a smile will go such a long way ,perhaps because I live in a small place it helps that most folk know each other.


To live in a big city and not see or speak to anyone must be dreadful. it also helps that I can natter to anyone (and I often do) but far too many people, not only old, but young Mums find it hard to make new friends.

Before my youngest DD went back to work she did volunteering work for a Meet-a-Mums group.

In the Chatham/Medway area there are a lot of army wives, who are maybe new Mums, a long way from their own Mums with a new born baby, and OH away God knows where. DD used to spend hours talking and chatting to some of them, as a Mum of five there was little she didn't know about babies.

One young Mum phoned her about 2 in the morning in tears because she just couldn't get her young baby to stop crying. Tess sat and talked to her for almost an hour, reassuring that the baby was fine and she was doing everything she could, and to just pick him up and give him a cuddle while she (Tess) chatted to her .The baby eventually dropped off and DD said to the Mum there you go I told you it would be OK ,now put him down and just relax and enjoy being there for him

I was so proud of how she coped, when she had her own to look after, and she said but Mum you used to talk me through it when my babies were yelling, and often its just that voice of reassurance that people need . Ok so its not money saving to talk about loneliness but it mind saving.

About 9 years ago I was going through a particular bad bout of chemo and didn't sleep well at all, I used to come on here ,sometimes in the middle of the night, and would find someone to have a natter to which took my mind off losing my breast,hair and at times my dinner ( wasn't great )

I remember nattering to a poster on here who was having problems with rheumatism and also fed up with life in general, we kept each other company in the small dark hours.She no longer posts on here and I will never know what happened to her but we kept each others spirits up at the time

gt568 I do hope you are never alone, frightened or in the position of a few that are on here, as its not all about money, its about humanity

JackieO

PasturesNew

I'm not what you'd call lonely, but I've not actually spoken to anybody since last year.

Time flies doesn't it

[Deleted User]

a lot of loneliness can be self-driven, so many people expect others to come to them but that does not happen. You actually have to go out and smile, people always stop to talk if you have a nice word to say to them. What is loneliness though? People, like me, can be alone but never lonely. You have to make your own comfortable nest, hobbies help a lot, different things to do in the day. No point in moping. The most lonely I ever felt was as a brand new mum, on a big housing estate. Loneliness can hit all ages. Really we are all alone, our own little islands. It is how we cope that makes the difference between loneliness and being comfortable alone

Good topic op. I suggest that anyone gets involved in a hobby for starters and don`t assume that anyone but yourself can make that lonely feeling go away

VfM4meplse

I'd actually posted here on purpose...OSers are a nice bunch of people, who have time to share life tips with others.

The relationships board is full of people with harsh judgements and less than constructive advice. As for DT, well don't even go there unless you fancy being trounced!

Btw I have contacted Age UK. An hour a week to chat to someone is not too much to ask.

IIRC my comments were about a duplicate thread on DT (Beckham I think)

[Deleted User]

VfM4meplse wrote: »

Btw I have contacted Age UK. An hour a week to chat to someone is not too much to ask.

IIRC my comments were about a duplicate thread on DT (Beckham I think)

you are one of the nice ones, caring, kind. Wish there were more like you

Nelski

VfM4meplse wrote: »

I'd actually posted here on purpose...OSers are a nice bunch of people, who have time to share life tips with others.

The relationships board is full of people with harsh judgements and less than constructive advice. As for DT, well don't even go there unless you fancy being trounced!

Btw I have contacted Age UK. An hour a week to chat to someone is not too much to ask.

IIRC my comments were about a duplicate thread on DT (Beckham I think)

Agree and I think its such a shame gt568 feel the need to have a dig on a thread where the intent is really good.

If you have a bit of spare time please contact Age UK their befriending service is invaluable to many

http://www.ageuk.org.uk/get-involved/volunteer/

Pollycat

It might just be me but......who's Derek?

I followed the link but can't see anything about Derek or his story.

There's something about Len and Ivor though.

VfM4meplse

Pollycat wrote: »

It might just be me but......who's Derek?

I followed the link but can't see anything about Derek or his story.

There's something about Len and Ivor though.

Try this.