Help me, I've slipped!

heavenleigh

Morning all

For the past fortnight i have had no energy, felt really sorry for myself and have let everything slip!

I have been happy to blame my pregnancy, as for the past fortnight i have been able to eat virtually nothing without it representing itself as something completely different so have blamed that on my lack of motivation.

I woke up two days ago feeling alot better and can now eat and physically move off the sofa but things have gotten so behind i dont know where to start!

I went shopping yesterday and am horrified to admit that i bought what i felt like buying rather than what was needed (my excuse at the time was i hadnt eaten for 2 weeks so i was going to buy whatever i fancied) which resulted in an over the top £70 Mr T. bill that looking back consisted of junk that will run out in a few days rather than last over a week.

We are skint at the moment, (have 3 weeks left until the new mortgage kicks in, not a remortgage but a better deal leaving us £200 a month better off and giving us £5000 cash back) I need to get back into money saving before i blow this and end up back at square one!

The house is a mess.

The kids are living on unhealthy uneconomical ping meals.

And most of all i am feeling guilty that dh is working 60 hrs a week and having to come home and work here too.

I'm a big girl, i admit i have been lazy but really need some pointers to get me back in the right direction.

Please help.

Leigh xx

Zed42

Firstly, don't panic and get yourself in to a tizz

I'm glad to hear that your energy is returning and that you're now entering your 2nd trimester and blossoming.

First things first, get yourself a cup of tea (beverage of choice) and decide what quick wins you can do to make yourself feel more in control ... such as getting the washing up out of the way, or putting a load of washing in the machine.

What food have you got in, perhaps if you tell us, we could help you put a meal plan together ...

Food is definitely an important one, good nutrition makes everyone feel a whole load better and calmer!

Visit the flylady thread, their always a helpful bunch ... the aim is to spend 15 minutes tidying one room and then have a break .. ie, break it down in to small chunks ... do not attempt to do everything at once, it's just too overwhelming.

Good luck, you can do this :j

vij

forgive yourself, be kind to yourself.

Why not cook something for they enjoyment of cooking it even if it is a little more extravagent than usual just to bring you back into enjoying the kitchen and maybe get the kids involved. Start small maybe 20 min chunk of housework then a treat eg nice cup of coffee, hot choc, surf the net for 10 - 15 mins then back to the chores, set a timer though and stick to it.

soappie

As others have said, don't beat yourself up about it - turn the negative thoughts to positive ones. e.g. "omg what a mess" rethink as "it'll look fantastic once I've sorted it" and hold that thought.

With the general tidying up, I'd start off with the kitchen. Get that in order today then, once it's clean and tidy, it'll probably help you feel more like cooking a non-pingable meal.

Then work on the main living room so that if unexpected guests turn up, you know that's in order.

Then the bathroom

Then the bedrooms.

Good luck!

johanne

No advice for you hun, just glad youve posted this though as im in the same boat virtually! Im 11 weeks tomorrow (in theory) and i feel exactly the same.. place is a tip, havent been able to eat proper meals, spent most the time on the sofa watching daytime tv or sleeping!!

Im ashamed to say my mum has even washed my dishes and cleaned my kitchen twice in the last fortnight when shes visited cos i just havent had the energy to bother even when i ran out of plates i just moved onto my plastic picnic/camping ones!

My OH doesnt live with me so hes not seen how i am (the one occassion hes been with me when ive been sick he was too busy watching the footy downstairs to hear me shouting for help and a glass of water from the bathroom!! some bloody use he is!!) He has been suggesting im just being lazy.... and i was starting to think so myself. So im really really glad you posted this.....!!! I dont even have other kids etc to look after though so im even more in awe of you! and do feel a tad lazy and selfish in comparison! lol

But im glad im not the only one whos going through the exhaustion and sickness!! I too managed to have a "sick-free-oooh-i-can-eat-today-YAY!"day yesterday and ended up scoffing...:

Breakfast: a shop bought cheese and onion sandwich and a packet of monster munch crisps
Lunch: 2 big shop bought pork pies (never usally eat these?!!)
Snack: another packet of crisps
Tea:a huge 1/4lb cheese burger and portion of chips from the chippy for tea!!!

DEFFO not oldstyle (or healthy! lol) but its what i fancied at the time and although i obviously knew it wasnt great for my health or bank balance i thought "s*d it!" and just enjoyed. So can totally understand. So please dont feel too bad on yourself for spending more than usual at MR T. Its just a blip..

Anyway ive rambled enough. But just wanted to say thank you and your not alone!!!! hehe

DebtphobicDeirdre

:grouphug: Heavenleigh and Johanne
what are you talking about being lazy and feeling guilty about neglecting housework for! You are doing the incredibly difficult and important job of growing and nuturing a little baby- 24 hours a day, whilst partners have had their fun bit and can now just sit back. Its a time to be pampered, don't feel that its wrong. Its what your body and baby are demanding.

Have a lovely bubble bath and just do 10 minutes at a time of any work you must do, take time off sick from work if necessary and eat healthy but above all eat what you feel you want. It WILL pass soon and then you can catch up, meanwhile ginger is supposed to help- worth a go.

Take care, our best wishes go to you for a happy, healthy baby at the end of it all
Love DeeDee xxx

tiamai_d

Don't beat yourself up about it, I let everything slip for, well not 9months, I only got to 33 weeks and most of it was spent in hospital.

Anyway, now that you ARE feeling better, don't start running around, you will just feel worse again.

Start slowly. Do dishes, a washing, tidy units, wipe down table and sofas, hoover. There, doesn't that look better?

Write down a list for when you go shopping next time, and budget in some money for anything you see that just takes your fancy. We are allowed it when pregnant as if we say no, we end up eating so much more instead. Plus it makes us feel good.

Do what you can, when you can. Take it slow. When you can cook, cook double and freeze the extra. OH can then defrost it and re-heat it when your not feeling up to it.

And don't worry, no matter how sick you are, you will still get a sudden urge to clean like a devil sooner or later.

ps, been there with OH claiming I was just being lazy... first pregnancy was great, I was happy and healthy, so when the second had me throwing up almost constantly, sleeping when I wasn't throwing up, and eating 4 potato wedges if I was lucky a day, he said I was acting it. Would have had a barmy IF I had the energy, but I didn't. He did eventually realise that I was not acting it, he made me eat something I didn't want, saying I was at it, would feel better after I ate, probably I was eating fine when he was at work bla bla bla, I left him to clean up the mess, soon changed his mind. I was signed off work sick for all the pregnancy. Tell them that being a Dad does not start at birth, it starts with pregnancy and they HAVE to do their bit.

Actiongirl_2

johanne wrote: »

No advice for you hun, just glad youve posted this though as im in the same boat virtually! Im 11 weeks tomorrow (in theory) and i feel exactly the same.. place is a tip, havent been able to eat proper meals, spent most the time on the sofa watching daytime tv or sleeping!!

Im ashamed to say my mum has even washed my dishes and cleaned my kitchen twice in the last fortnight when shes visited cos i just havent had the energy to bother even when i ran out of plates i just moved onto my plastic picnic/camping ones!

My OH doesnt live with me so hes not seen how i am (the one occassion hes been with me when ive been sick he was too busy watching the footy downstairs to hear me shouting for help and a glass of water from the bathroom!! some bloody use he is!!) He has been suggesting im just being lazy.... and i was starting to think so myself. So im really really glad you posted this.....!!! I dont even have other kids etc to look after though so im even more in awe of you! and do feel a tad lazy and selfish in comparison! lol

But im glad im not the only one whos going through the exhaustion and sickness!! I too managed to have a "sick-free-oooh-i-can-eat-today-YAY!"day yesterday and ended up scoffing...:

Breakfast: a shop bought cheese and onion sandwich and a packet of monster munch crisps
Lunch: 2 big shop bought pork pies (never usally eat these?!!)
Snack: another packet of crisps
Tea:a huge 1/4lb cheese burger and portion of chips from the chippy for tea!!!

DEFFO not oldstyle (or healthy! lol) but its what i fancied at the time and although i obviously knew it wasnt great for my health or bank balance i thought "s*d it!" and just enjoyed. So can totally understand. So please dont feel too bad on yourself for spending more than usual at MR T. Its just a blip..

Anyway ive rambled enough. But just wanted to say thank you and your not alone!!!! hehe

I am 15 weeks this weekend, and have just moved out of the stodge phase. Alll I could stomach for 6 weeks were pies, pasties, sausage rolls and cheese sandwiches. None of which I would touch in a normal world!

I found that when I hit 13 weeks, I felt better, and that frustrating thing of defrosting something the night before, then getting home and wanting to retch wore off! Thank goodness as it was costing a fortune in impetus buying of food. Then I got back onto the batch cooking.

cha97michelle

I've just found out i am pregnant again too! And the 1st time i was just like this and would lie on the sofa when i got in from work at 3:30 and do as little as possible. I think i am going to have to do what i can when i can this time, and try to be as healthy as possible. I can remember what it was like, and do think i indulged myself a bit much.

Yesterday i felt really lethargic but i think that was because i ate too much sugary stuff.

Today i am determined to get everything i need done, and then have a walk with DH and DS (11 months).

I have been awake since 6 with DS, but DH has been fab, and made my breakfast and a cuppa, and DS's breakie, and changed loads of nappies, and done the washing up. He then had Ds in his swing, and was gardening at the same time, and now is doing more gardening while Ds is sleeping.

I have done some preparation for work next week, and done some washing.

He wasn't this good last time round this early, so i must have done something to change him.

Anyway, best wishes to you girls. Ask for help from whoever you need it from and don't feel bad.

Michelle, x

Lady_Pink

Hello All - I just wanted to add my two pennys worth! I was diagnosed with hyperemesis (www.hyperemesis.org.uk was great for info) after I keeled over in the waiting room of the antenatal clinic. I'd been suffering since I was 6 weeks gone (I'm 14 now) and would go for days where I couldn't keep anything down - not even water. Despite telling every medical person I saw what was going on, I got told to eat little and often, and to try crackers (etc). So I saw crackers "again", often. I'm joking about it now, but I felt like I was going to die. In the end, I was admitted to hospital where they tried to get me on a rehydration drip - but they couldn't get a needle into a vein as I was so dehydrated, so they had to inject me with anti sickness drugs, then observe me to make sure I'd be able to keep anti sickness tablets down! Aaaaanyway, for the last few weeks DH has done everything - cooking (tho not much has been needed!), cleaning, shopping, looking after me. I'm slowly getting back on my feet but have just had to accept that I'm not going to be able to be as on the ball/efficient/moneysaving as I'd like to be.

Don't forget you need to look after yourself and that you're actually "busy" 24 hours a day - growing a little person! Accept all offers of help you can - my mom and I have come to a fantastic arrangement. She offered to help with houseowrk etc when I have to go back to work (was signed off sick for 3 weeks) but I would feel terrible asking her to do it for nothing, so offered to pay her. Initially she refused, but has said that she will put the money aside as a "treat fund" to buy the baby nice things when (fingers crossed) it arrives. That way, I don't feel guilty, she gets to help (she wants to, honest!), I'm effectively saving money without even noticing it and she gets to go grandma shopping without worrying about money!

Re the food - my midwife told not to worry too much about not being able to eat, or not being able to eat healthily. She pointed out the baby will just starve me of nutrients to keep itself going! Eat what you can, when you can. Try and balance being sensible with looking after yourself. And good luck - I hope all us preggy ladies can get through the next few months without too much trauma!!