Ok - let's do it!

northerner999

Forward_thinking wrote: »

Hi there,

We are in a mess financially. We owe 40k and our spending seems to be coming out short of £1k each month. My partner is convinced that I shouldn't be spending any time on here trying to save a few pounds here and there. He claims it is simply tidying up in the teaspoon drawer!! He claims we simply need to make more money. He earns 110K on a good year and brings in about 7.5K a month net. But our outgoings are so high. I am also about to go back to work and am hoping to earn about 30K this year - but only time will tell.

Is it worth saving up the pennies when we are so much in debt? Or should I just get working all the hours I can?

I really want to do the most we possibly can to get back on track. I know we need to set a budget and have a good look at the overall picture. Would anyone be happy to give an objective view of where we are going wrong?

One of our main problems is that we are renting a house that is too expensive but can't leave as no-one will give us an alternative rental because we would fail the credit checks. It just seems a huge mess : (((

Sounds like a LBM has only happened for one half of the marriage!

If you are earning that much and still over spending by a grand a month then it seems that you need to go through a SOA and let the good people of this forum suggest cutbacks.

Your husband can whinge all he wants about you looking to save money, but it doesn't look like his large salary has done much good in rectifying the situation which should tell you the problem is not a lack of money but a lack of a balanced budget. Perhaps he still has his head in the sand on this, don't be fooled into thinking a high salary means the debt is sustainable.

On that kind of income, though, it should be easy enough to get down to a balanced budget and start reducing your debt. I earn less than a fifth of what he does and my monthly budget comes in about £300 short of my salary, for instance, so don't let anyone tell you it can't be done.

redpete

Forward_thinking wrote: »

My partner is convinced that I shouldn't be spending any time on here trying to save a few pounds here and there. He claims it is simply tidying up in the teaspoon drawer!!

Tjh1412 wrote: »

If you post an SOA (I'm sure someone will post a link soon, I cant as on phone) then may be able to make suggestions on expenses etc

Your partner does have a point. The standard SOA advice of getting a cheaper mobile contract, cut out Sky subscription, change utility supplier etc. would be a drop in the ocean. I suspect that you are just spending far too much on things like holidays, housing, cars, treats etc

Areas that might benefit from objective advice are credit card or loan interest, housing options.

Forward_thinking

Thanks everyone for the valued advice. Just printing the SOA link - he's happy to have a quick look. Says he's done it all before and it's impossible to cut anything out. We shall see. Moving house would really help but last time we tried they looked at our credit cards and that was it.

redpete

Forward_thinking wrote: »

Says he's done it all before and it's impossible to cut anything out.

So does he accept overspending by £1000 a month for ever (or until bankruptcy)? There is always room to cut back although it might require a significant change in attitude and lifestyle for a time.

tallyhoh

looking forward to seeing the SOA

redpete

With rent of maybe £2400, interest of maybe £800 and living expenses of maybe £1000 for a family of 8 this still leaves another £2500-3000 a month that you were spending 18 months ago; difficult to see how some at least of this is not discretionary spending.

Brightspark87

Hi quickly two things, firstly, in my experience the more you earn the more you spend and therefore I really think you can make some serious cut backs. I am sure he works hard to earn that money therefore spends it too. You need to sort this and it can easily be done. Once its paid off you should seriously consider:

With OH earning that much pensions should be something that comes as second nature, as at the moment he does not have a personal allowance (giving you a tax free amount you can earn every year) and effectively pays 60% on the earnings between £100-108ish K. Making pension contributions can help counter act this but only if its affordable. Good luck!

Forward_thinking

Thanks everyone. I can't believe I am not getting any upsetting comments!!! It's a mess and I am so ashamed. Really hoping no-one can find out your identity on here : (( Would never be able to look people in the face again. I have posted my SOA - probably the most useful hour I have spent for a long time. Thank you so much to anyone who has a few minutes to help me with this reality check!!!

getmore4less

It is really easy to get out of control when you have big incomes, often there are a couple of things that stand out and all the little things add up as well. there is a tendency to go over on everything with a sort of because we are worth it when in reality it's just throwing money away

The trick with the SOA is to identify where it all goes and not do cutbacks blind, with the info you decide the priorities and what stuff is worth.
(I see there is a SOA)

End of the day even if you spend it all what you are looking for is maximum value.
There are trade offs to make but what often happens is when a new want is identified it just gets added to the spend list without thinking because we can afford it.

My fear with you going back to work is you just end up wasting even more money.

probably time to move this over to the SOA thread.

Remember whatever people suggest ultimately they are your choices to make not ours and we all have different prorities.

lexia

Hi, I think the main problem that you have is that your partner is not on board with your cost cutting efforts. I was in your shoes several years ago. Combined income more than 120K but only one child. High mortgage, high spending. I tried to get us spend less, but I was alone in it and to be frank, it felt awful - me, on one hand, trying to keep things frugal. Him - spending freely. I couldn't live like that (in our case we actually broke up as there were other problems). We sold the big house, paid debts, and started clean - that was several years ago.

For me it was, and still is - difficult to adjust financially going from two incomes to one - but I'm determined to make it work and get debt free if not end of this year, early next one.

I don't have any advice except try to get on the same page with your husband... these forums are v useful. He can replace the 'saving of few pounds here and there' with saving hundreds, in your case looks like it's about hundreds (I read your SOA attempt).

Best of luck!