Let's start at the very beginning........

lucielou5

Hello everyone and welcome to 2016.
I'm newly single (after a 10 year relationship), have clinical depression, am a full time carer for my deaf son and am £12k in debt.
A combination of a badly wired brain, ignorance and procrastination has finally brought me to the forum for some moral support.
So........where to begin?

YORKSHIRELASS

Hi and welcome along. I have been around here for a long time starting with debts of around £25k and with a lot of determination and the help of a small inheritance they are now at around £6.5k. I also have a son with a disability so I really understand how this affects you both emotionally and on a practical level.

So, first step, which is absolutely crucial, is to know exactly where you are financially. Most of us have got into this situation by sticking our head in the sands.

You need to know two things:

1. How much is coming in every month, how much has to be paid out in bills and minimum debt repayments and how much is left to play with. If this information is not readily available you need to get hold of the last 3 months bank statements and go through them carefully.

2. Exactly how much debt you have and what the interest rates are. This will mean getting hold of credit card statements and probably adding up some scary numbers.

I dont know how you feel about your debt but for most of us facing up to this for the first time is frightening. I didnt realise that we were simply spending more than we were earning. It's about taking control and you can only do that if you know the facts.

Many people will recommend a SOA which is a statement of affairs where you list your ins and outs and balances. This is a great idea but it has to be accurate or there is no point. No cheating or adjusting things to make it look better (its human nature, we all want to do this but now is the time to be brutally honest with yourself).

From here on in you need to stop using credit and start recording every penny you spend. A spending diary is a great way to start.

There is support in bucketloads on this forum. You can talk honestly and openly about your situation and its good to know that you are not the only person with these kind of problems. You may have to make some long term changes to your lifestyle but just knowing that things are under control is a huge relief.

parsniphead

Welcome to o the board lucielou5.

A SOA is a good place to start. I can never find the link though. I will pop back in a while and add it.

Good luck with your journey.

debbie_debt

Good luck on your journey lucielou5. I'm only just starting to really tackle my debt, despite being acutely aware of it for a long time now :eek: I do find that during the times I come on here regularly and read read read, I stay more in control of my finances day-to-day. It's easier to stick your head in the sand if you don't think about it. So my main piece of advice is to keep coming on here every day - don't let yourself slip back into putting your head into the sand.

Feel free to post regularly and follow all of the advice given.

Good luck! :money:

lucielou5

Thank you to everyone who replied. Sound advice.
I hadn't realised (until I looked) that I had started a thread on here at the end of November. This was right at the cusp of my relationship breakdown and I cannot even remember posting it.
debbie_debt is right. I do need to be coming on here EVERY day for support and to keep myself focused. Thank you. X

Kitten868

Have you got a diary on here? That's good. Reading other diaries on here helps for ideas too. It's amazing how many people have something in common with you (not just debt) and you might just find something that resonates with you. Good luck! X

moneyonmymindsam

Welcome LL :-)

Good luck. Some good advice given already. Start a diary if you need too even if it's just to record spends or ramblings .

Lots of friendly genuine people here who are all in the same or similar Boats

:-)

andyfromotley

hi,

fill this in

http://www.stoozing.com/calculator/soa.php

be thorough and honest, and you'll get tons of advice about how to tackle it.

National_Debtline

Hi

There’s some great advice on this thread already and starting with a SOA is certainly the way to go. As andyfromotley says, if you post you figures and debt details in this thread you’re sure to get helpful replies and advice.

You’re welcome to call National Debtline too if you would like to discuss your situation in more detail with an adviser.

James
@natdebtline