Dealing with the debt I've created

Makingitbetterdaily

First off I need to get the bad stuff out of the way. I'm sure it will take a while to stop feeling guilty but, through a series of incredibly bad choices I've made a credit card debt of 3k and frittered away savings that could have obliterated it.

I work hard but have been spending harder and need to put it right. I want today to be the first day of working on sensible and rational plans, not more flapping about trying to fix things but actually making it worse.

I think that I need to do these things:

1. Calculate all my debts
2. Set a realistic amount to pay off each month.
3. Stick to a budget with cash to avoid racking up any further debt
4. Try earn small amounts of extra income to get the debt reduced faster.
5. Try to let go if the guilt by acting in a more positive manner.
6. Take all the tips I can get.

As an estimate at present I think the most pressing debt is the credit card with £3200 current debt. I'm married do this is a joint debt but tbh although my husband isn't frugal he wouldn't need to be if it wasn't for me. He's not been sensible in the past and I used this excuse to justify my own stupidity but this has to stop.

I'll be taking responsibility for my actions now although I'm still scared to tell him what a mess I've made. I'm hoping that making a positive start will be evidence of my acceptance of my mistakes and show that I want to make it right when I have to tell him.

So ashamed but shame won't put anything right so this is my accountability.

Makingitbetterdaily

Just joined the 'payment a day' thread. I think one day at a time is the only way forwards here. Also making some small inroads with inbox pounds and swag bucks, started these ages ago but never really got going. Going to make SAVING and MAKING money my distraction now to replace the spending!

If anyone reading has experienced feelings of guilt and shame over financial mistakes I would appreciate your thoughts and advice. I feel sick every time I think about the mess I've made. How do you deal with it? I feel like a cheat and a liar for wasting my family's money on crap. My husband and I survived some difficult times when his company went bust and have worked hard to be honest and accountable for that debt, I feel that I've undone a lot if his good work and am desperate to put it right

Dizzy_Imp

:wave: Hello MiBDaily - saw you on the PAD Thread and popped across to say hi x

Being in debt can feel awful, but you've taken some positive steps to get to grips with what you owe, so well done :beer:

There are some lovely supportive people on this forum who will be along to offer help and advice to you, so don't feel apprehensive about asking questions. Try to channel your feelings of guilt into a positive determination to change your spending habits - joining challenges here is a fun way to keep motivated. I'll see you back over PADding tomorrow

kirtsypoos

Hi MIBD,

Facing the problem head on is the best start you can have - after that it's just baby steps!

Personally I find that seeing the numbers go down is a better feeling than spending money and all the guilt associated with that after. Have you thought about adding a signature? You can add as much or as little info as you like, but it will soon show you how far you've come.

Joining the PAD thread is probably one the best choices you could have made at this point - I'm pretty sure it's made the ultimate difference to me, and I know it will do the same for you!

Good luck, I've subscribed to your diary and look forward to seeing your progress!

Makingitbetterdaily

Thank you for the welcomes

The really upsetting thing is that I've always been great with money until this year. I'm great at budgeting when I do it but that also means that I CAN enjoy it like you say kirtsy!

I have more than the credit card to gave up to but I think I will add just that one to my signature for now and baby step my way back to freedom.

You've no idea what a relief it is to have a way to tell the truth. I'm terrible at secrets and by nature I feel guilty very easily. I'm really hoping to show myself that I can start to forgive my mistakes. I have been having nightmares about it and its just ridiculous. As a couple we've been in worse situations than this, I'm only feeling the pressure now because I've tumbled from my high horse in a spectacular fashion!

Will be back after work tonight!

kirtsypoos

I completely agree, I felt like a weight had been lifted as I hadn't been honest with anyone (OH included at first) and finally writing it all down scared the life out of me but was the biggest relief!

Makingitbetterdaily

OK, good news and bad.

Bad news first. Credit card is actually at 3.5k SK bigger than I thought.

Good news is I've already got extra income due next week and I've made a £10 payment into the savings account. I've decided to set myself a goal of £500 per month off credit card and any extra income I make and any money left after budget into restoring savings to a safe level do that we don't lean on credit card again.

I have done a little work on swagbucks and inbox pounds again today too, I know you don't make mega bucks but I'm close to cashing out nearly £30 between them so might as well use the time if I get it, better than sitting worrying!

I know I can do this! Thank you for being so kind when I feel so shabby, it helps to know I'm not alone.

Bobarella

You are doing really well on getting yourself organised for some great debt slaying. Well done!

kirtsypoos

You're making a great start on it MIBT, having a solid plan will help to focus your mind even more, and it sounds like you have a good one there

Makingitbetterdaily

Oh dear, seem to have got some sort of flu virus fortunately it is the weekend so hopefully I can be well again for work on Monday.

Feeling the pressure a little today as wondering if have got enough Christmas presents but know rationally that I HAVE and that this is a right month for everyone.

Been very consistent with my inbox pounds and swagbucks work, will have at least 30 pounds if not more to cash in by new year, planning on posting this into emergency fund.

Started reading some other diaries, any links to inspirational debt free diaries will be very welcomed, is love to return some of the encouragement that I have been given.

I have decided that I am going to look at OVERALL debt once credit card is gone as this process has made me think if I can get rid of the card then where else can I save money? If I made extra mortgage payments after the credit card is cleared Ithen I could actually make up for some of the daft mistakes I've made and turn it into a positive!

Really, really trying to stay positive. Keeping myself busy with surveys etc is stopping me dwelling when not working but still having horrible nightmares due to guilt. I'm really not used to bring untruthful. I wish my husband was a little more even tempered so that I could admit my mistakes to him but I know it's not possible. I know there are worse things than money problems and at least I can put this right even if it takes time x

Makingitbetterdaily

OK, list of positive things to do this coming week:

1. Ensure we all have packed lunches and good food in house to compliment things already in cupboard to minimise new spending.

2. Continue good works on swagbucks and inbox pounds and probably request withdrawals this week too!

3. Try to make a payment a day to emergency fund.

4. Re list unsold eBay items. Very small amounts but it all counts!

Hope anyone reading also has a lovely, successful week xx