signed off with anxiety monday

furby-2003

I have been having issues at work and at home meaning i tend to drift onto another plant and dont know i'm doing it. I have made mistakes at work but it doesn't help that I haven't had sufficient training.

Basically I work tuesday - thursday 16.5 hours. I called tuesday morning after have a note for 2 weeks and was told to chill out and get out the house ect. I received a call from my boss which I expected. But! He has refereed me to occupational health and asked me to come in as soon as possible as he is concerned. I was only officially off for 1 hour by then and he's already telling me to come to work and "have a chat". I know what it will be. When can we get you back. I haven't even had chance to try and relax yet and i'm already worried about going on monday now. I feel like he's putting the pressure on me. I can't say no I don't want to go but in reality thats what I would love to say. The straw that broke the camels back was in the end he called me in for a 5 minute chat and it turned into a 3 page informal discussion telling me I was to make no more mistakes.
My partner has depression and is on the verge of quitting his job because of it and he is the main earner 3 fold. So my job is important, I have been there 14 years without anything like this ever happening. I'm not in the union right now. Can anyone point me in the right direction of what my rights are being off sick.

Thanks

HappyMJ

furby-2003 wrote: »

I have been having issues at work and at home meaning i tend to drift onto another plant and dont know i'm doing it. I have made mistakes at work but it doesn't help that I haven't had sufficient training.

Basically I work tuesday - thursday 16.5 hours. I called tuesday morning after have a note for 2 weeks and was told to chill out and get out the house ect. I received a call from my boss which I expected. But! He has refereed me to occupational health and asked me to come in as soon as possible as he is concerned. I was only officially off for 1 hour by then and he's already telling me to come to work and "have a chat". I know what it will be. When can we get you back. I haven't even had chance to try and relax yet and i'm already worried about going on monday now. I feel like he's putting the pressure on me. I can't say no I don't want to go but in reality thats what I would love to say. The straw that broke the camels back was in the end he called me in for a 5 minute chat and it turned into a 3 page informal discussion telling me I was to make no more mistakes.
My partner has depression and is on the verge of quitting his job because of it and he is the main earner 3 fold. So my job is important, I have been there 14 years without anything like this ever happening. I'm not in the union right now. Can anyone point me in the right direction of what my rights are being off sick.

Thanks

If you can no longer do your work and no adjustments can be made at your workplace to enable you to carry out your work then your employer can dismiss you even if you are sick and it can be considered a fair dismissal. Most employers will do as you've already been asked to do and that's to visit occupational health for an occupational health assessment and follow the advice from them.

You should be getting SSP (statutory sick pay) from your employer and when that runs out you can claim ESA (Employment and Support Allowance) from the DWP whether you are still employed or not. You said you've been working for 14 years so you will be able to claim contributions based ESA so your partners income and capital will not count in calculating your payment.

thescouselander

Take up your boss on the occupational health involvement - assuming they agree with your doctor that will provide you with some top cover and they might also be able to find ways to help. Perhaps you should also ask them to visit you at home if you don't want to go in.

geminilady

Sounds like the anxiety was caused by the boss pulling you into the office about mistakes,try not to worry everyone makes mistakes sometimes.Did you tell your boss you have not been trained properly? The "drifting off" could be your way off coping with your problems like your husbands depression.You need to find new ways of dealing with stress.Has your doctor suggested CBT? maybe that would help.I would go see the the occupational health they are there to help you not your boss.If he asks when you are coming back say that is up to your doctor to decide.If you have a sick note(think it has another name now) you cannot be sacked for being ill.

furby-2003

yes being pulled in certainly didn't help. I told him time after time I needed help. I was seconded to another job for 12 months and I knew i couldn't go back to my old role and had to go back to doing something I did 7 years ago. He sent me a matrix to ask what I knew as he said he was unaware I didn't know the job. I filled it in stating I knew very little and needed support. I had another matrix for another part of the job come to me and I also filled that in all 1's meaning I know nothing. Yet I was still told to do the work.
The issues at home have been around for years on and off. Up until today I have been driving him and from work and taking the kids to school and going to work myself all by 9:30am which is a 60 mile a day trip for the last 3 months. I usually only go to school and work and only do 4000k miles a year at most so this has been so tiring. Today he has been told he can drive but its causing arguments as he seems to think the doctor told the dvla so still wont drive. Its mostly because his depression is getting in the way of him functioning now, the bank account is overdrawn as he hasn't put any money in and he lies in bed with his clothes on all night and wont speak. Home and work is a nighmare but i get told to "get on with it, everyone has problems" i've just had my head bitten off and told its nothing to do with me as im trying to tell him the dvla have not been informed the doctor said not to drive as all the tests have come back and he is absolutly fine but of course i can tell him until Im blue in the face but I know nothing and its not my business. I'm carting him around so yes it is my business grrr

How the hell do I leave this at the door and get on with my work no matter how much I try

tomtontom

Is your husband receiving support beyond his GP? It sounds like he is very unwell. That's got to be difficult for you to be around too, is there a friend you can talk to?

dawyldthing

Take the time off to get yourself better and get things sorted and your other half better. I had to have 2 weeks off a few years ago under similar circumstances and it helped

furby-2003

Hes on medication and seeing the gp I've just gone to see his mom but after a 30 second slanging match i left in tears. I just feel like I want to leave.

tomtontom

Honestly it sounds like you both need a lot more support - give MIND a call, they can point you in the direction of support in your area.

jobbingmusician

OK, it does sound as if you are over-tired and depressed.

I think you will get more used to the 60 mile round trip, so the tiredness is likely to improve with time, although obviously no-one wants to live like this. So here are a few hints which might, I hope, help you hang on just for the moment.

1. The advice about getting help for your husband, and for you, is sensible. Among the places you could try are IAPT (just google IAPT followed by the name of where you live to get more information), Mind and your local Carers' centre.

2. You could write a polite letter to your boss (keep a copy) explaining that you have been signed off with severe stress, and have been making mistakes because of this. You are happy to meet with Occupational Health and discuss your circumstances, but have been advised to have a total break from work for these 2 weeks. (Yes, you have been advised! My me!)

3. Offer to keep your boss updated once a week on your progress. Be clear that most of your stress is non-work related and related to this specific period of time (if this is the case) but you need a break now as your health and concentration are suffering.

4. Consider asking for some unpaid leave if you need a longer break. Expensive, yes, but it shows your boss you are serious about addressing and resolving your issues, and a lot cheaper than the risk of losing your job (and might actually take some stress off you.)

5. Get over to the old style board for some hints on how to save money now. Apart from anything else, it will give you something else to think about and reassure you that you are doing something positive.

Other suggestions welcome!

LuckyPenny

Agree with all of the above. Its way too early for him to be getting Occ Health involved unless you have had a lot of previous sickness. You are entitled to see the Occ. Health Report before it goes back to your Employer. Don't have any more 'chats' with him, tell the OH that your boss is making your stress worse. He cannot withhold your statutory sick pay if you have followed the rules by calling in sick and sending in your sick notes. Get your self some CBT counselling because you need someone independent to talk to. Yours and your husband's health is the most important thing.


On a practical point, can any friends or family help with the schools runs? Can any of your husband's colleagues give him a lift to work or can he get public transport?