I finally got it off my chest

Worried-mum

Hi everyone,
This is my first time posting here, so please be gentle with me! I am in about 14k of debt, loans & credit cards and up until yesterday my partner knew nothing about it. I have had stress related anxiety, palpitations, high blood pressure - the works, all from keeping it inside and not telling him. Anyway, i private messaged one of the lovely advisors on here and explained my situation, she advised me to give strepchange a call and i did. I am now in the process of setting up a DMP, and yesterday i told my partner.
I was so scared i was shaking, my biggest fear was that he would leave, but although he is very disappointed i didn't share this stress with him before it got out of hand! He has been nothing short of amazing... I'm very lucky.
He had no idea as we have separate bank accounts, so it was a huge shock to say the least. I just really wanted to say to anyone who is in a similar situation - even if the outcome of coming clean is not the same as mine, just do it, i feel like a huge weight has been lifted off me and that can only be good for my health too. We're focusing on getting debt free, and rebuilding the trust i've abused for so long. Sorry for the long rambling post, and this site is amazing

rogue999

Well done for facing up to it and telling your other half - it can't have been easy but i'm sure it'll be so much easier with no secrets. Good luck with your DMP xx

AspiringButAnxious

Well done! It's difficult to admit the extent of your debt to someone close to you, especially if you feel like you have let them down, but the people who love you will support you and prefer your honesty. Sure, they might be angry or disappointed, but that doesn't mean they won't help or support you. Plus it eases your own stress, putting you in a better position to tackle your debt.

Worried-mum

Thanks both, you're right, even though i've only just started it already feels so much easier knowing i'm not dealing with it alone anymore.

Velja

What an amazing post, thank for sharing.
And like you say - what matters now is looking to the future and focusing on getting debt free and saving (once the debt is sorted).
Hope it all goes well.

Worried-mum

Thanks velja!

Ilona

Well done mum. :TA problem shared is a problem halved. I hope it all goes well for you from now on. If you need any tips on reducing your day to day living expenses hop over to the Old Style boards, lots of useful stuff on there.

Ilona

crisp_eater

Well done for coming clean. Good luck on your debt free journey.

Worried-mum

Thank you both! I'm busy reading as much as i can llona, thankyou! I'm amazed at how much money i've wasted now that i've been forced to really look at it. It's shameful, but can only get better!

enthusiasticsaver

Well done on admitting to your OH that you have a problem and it will be easier to deal with if you are both on board. It can only be good for your health if you are not now having to deal with it on your own and Stepchange are very good at helping out. £14k is a manageable amount. Why not start a DF Diary and post a statement of affairs so people can suggest things you could economise on?

Worried-mum

The lady i spoke to at step change was fantastic to be fair, ( and thankyou!) she highlighted lots (LOTS) of places where we need to cut back just from me giving her my current outgoings. £75 p/m for sky tv is going, along with swapping my weekly shop to aldi instead of asda to name just a couple. I will have a look at doing a DF Diary - do i do that on here?