Its OK I know I'm odd

Sazzie23

What a week,

Got really panicked at the start as the car insurance said there was a problem with payment, but it had been taken from the bank and I didn.t have the money to pay it again. Eventually went through and the insurance admitted it was a problem between them and the bank and not me.

Unfortunately that sort of sent me into overdrive and I somehow managed to transfer money the wrong way and so the First bill for my new gas and electricity bounce the DD, I've emailed them to say what should I do but not heard anything back. See it's this sort of thing that people don't want hassle of when switching.

It's been so cold, and I hate being cold, next door is empty awaiting new tenants and I think I'm heating both houses, as I don't have a gas fire I have to keep the heating on. I tried Martins advice that it doesn't cost more to turn it on when you want it, but when it takes 3 hours to get warm and you are only in for 2 it wasn't working out for me. The timer is a bit dodgy and I don't think I could replace it myself so I just try to make sure if turns off for a few hours at night, and I've got it on quite low, but it makes the place bare able.

Must book car in for MOT, if goes to plan I will buy a new gas fire, if not I'll be saving a bit longer.

Overtime is supposed to disappear in January, they have threatened this befor and it lasted a couple of months, so I'm reluctant to up the DMP payments, I'm just getting back on track and don't want to blow it again. My SC review is due in Dec anyway.

Oh nearly forgot, did something incredibly stupid on Friday and lost my car keys. I managed not to panic and retraced my steps, checked with security at. Work nothing, the bus company, nothing, got back to the car, which was still there much to my relief, and called the car park company who had the keys handed in. Soooooo grateful, burst into tears at that point, fortunately it was dark and pouring with rain so no one saw me. I was so lucky, I could have got home and go the spare set, would have cost me about £4 in return journeY fares, but more than that, someone could have pinched the car, not worth much but would have been huge cost t.o me and loads of hassle. New plan now to secure keys and check they are there when I get to work. Not just find out at the end of the day.

Still paying off secure loan debt I incurred earlier in the year, can't remember if I said on here but they were really good about the repayments, I just increased slightly to repay, but then spoke to a lady earlier in the month and she was a bit high and mighty about repayments needing to be made and it might extend the length of the loan (I don't care) and affect my credit status (yeah right I can't even get a vanquis card). Anyway they payments are an extra £10quid approx for the next 4 months so that's an extra £40 quid in total as I'm already paying £30 extra, hopefully the water bill is paid off next month so the extra funds can be covered from that.

Know I need to sit down and do some sort of financial plan, where I am now, where I want to be, what I need to save for etc. hoping next week with evening shifts will give me the time/inclination to do that.

Couldn't sleep tonight, hence on here. One of the saddest things about losing/finding my car keys, was a - didn't feel like I could ring anyone to ask for help, and b- didn't have anyone to tell about my good luck/ someone's kindness it's that sort of thing that makes you lonely.

My hand seems itchy, seems to have come up in some sort of hives rash, that'll be annoying had terribly trouble same time last year when late OH was poorly and I was clearly very stressed, hands flared up really badly. Makes it awkward with work as lots of handwashing, hand gel etc.

Probably ought to do the budget thing now, but maybe I'll try and snooze for an hour before I have to be up for work,

so_very_confused

Hi Sazzie. Just saw your post and wanted to tell you how terrific i think you are. I read your diary awhile ago and knew you were dealing with a great deal. Throughout you have continued to come on mse and give your time , wisdom and kindness to others.
I have had some difficulties in recent months and don't feel able to post very often but I generally read, so I know that your ongoing support of others has made a difference.
I hope your situation continues to improve, remember, one foot in front of the other and don't ask too much of yourself.
svc

Sazzie23

Hi confused

Thanks for the support, like you sometimes lately its been a struggle to do anything, but I always try to remember how alone and scared I felt when I first started my DMP and that makes me try to post something re-assuring and hopefully helpful if I see someone post who needs a lift.

I tried to track your posts to a diary or thread to say hi but couldn't see anything specific and I know you read this, just wanted to say I hope your troubles are resolving or at least resolvable. Oh and when you get to 89 you can insist on whatever sort of biscuits you like - its called the law of old age, say what you like, eat what you like, sleep when you want?

I had an aged aunty who lived on cake which she had delivered from an expensive departmental store, she was eccentric but it made her happy and I think the store staff used to enjoy her visits in a perverse way. She had nothing else really to live for and I'm sorry I didn't understand that when I was younger. I try to keep her grave tidy in her honour.
She did have some other rellies but fell out with them many years before, its sad really isn't it. Anyway enough about me, I was trying to say thanks for posting, I do appreciate anyone who takes time out to post.

Sazzie23

Merry Christmas to all.

Am getting through this season by remembering that at least now I have a choice about who I spend Christmas with. As it happens I choose to,spend it at work and then the rest of it I will spend mostly on my own. I have some lovely friends who have invited and keep inviting me to spend time with them, but I really can't face being jolly holidays and the last thing I want to do is bring others down.

Took the car for the MOT. Went back to the safe option of,garage OH used to take cars too. No idea why really as despite spending several hundred quid each year for the last 5? Years they never seem to remember who we are. But anyhow, they did the business and the car passed. Although I had to get a new tyre and brakes, don't feel like they diddled me and it was comparatively unstressful. still I'm £430 lighter:eek:

Now for the strange thing, I decided to double check the bill, I never have before so I'm not sure what possessed me. When you add it up, they undercharged by £10. No matter which way I sell it to myself, that's not right, so after Christmas, when I have £10 I plan to go in and point out their error and give them the tenner back.

On a similar note; when I got really desperate for money, pre DMP, I tried various betting schemes to raise money. I've never closed the accounts and sometimes have a little flutter with the few pounds left in them. We are talking 25p to win 32p. I've vowed never to put any more in the accounts and have not done so in over 2 years. But I logged in the other day to see if actually it was worth refunding the money into my account, and lo and behold an extra £50 was there. I've logged in a few times since and it's still there, I can't see any recently winning bets that might have paid out so its a mystery. Equally there's no sign of a deposit which might have been paid into a wrong account so I'm non the wiser. Again I think for my own sanity I'll declare it otherwise karma will come back to get me:o

So onto non monetary traumas. Friend B's husband died unexpectedly. friend A is unsympathetic as she was slating him off a few days previously, but really don't we all do that. friend A and B not he came to the OH funeral earlier in year and I feel I should go to friend B's DH funeral, but had already a prior arrangement to go somewhere else with friend A..... Can't see how to find a way round this... And more expense as flowers to be sent from a group of us....

Didn't hear anything from the late OH family until a week or so ago when I got a message asking if I wanted anything for a gift.... It would have been easier to ignore them if I'd heard nothing. After last year I can't forget the trouble at Christmas and having OH on phone last Christmas sobbing does not a happy Sazzie make.

Still not sure what to do, as don't want to see them, but have felt the need to buy presents (in previous years spend a lot on them all but tried to go under rather than overboard). Think I'll just say I'm working and then arrange to drop the gifts off after Christmas. dont know what response that'll give, probably nothing but I have no idea what goes on their head.

One strange thing that's happened is a couple of unconnected different friends have separately hinted to me, or even openly on one case, suggested changing living arrangements to some sort of shared living. If I was to sell up I would just be able to clear my debts and have a clean slate so I've considered selling, but I wouldn't be hugely better off in renting and I can't face the hassle of renting, moving, and being moved on etc. I realise I'm very fortunate to have this as a choice and perhaps I should be more accommodating to the friends concerned but I don't want to leave what has been 'our' home for 28 years, and I can't see what benefit I would get from living in a shared place in a location that possibly wouldn't be my first choice etc. One friend suggested I rent out my place and move to a large place with them, but my house is a bit overdue for repairs like gas and electric repairs and financial that's not viable really. And I don't want to (petulant bottom lip moment)!

My long term plans involved getting the mortgage and secured loan to 0 (4-7 years) so I can increase the DMP and get to DFD, (8-10 years). and that seems to suit me, so I'm not planning on changing anytime soon.

Sazzie23

Quite a lot to update on here but for now I'm applying for a course which would role-extend my job. Its something I'd like to do, would hopefully be good at and would give good job satisfaction.

I've had to revamp the CV, write expression of interest etc, thats been an experience itself and possibly a useful one, I didn't think i could organise myself to do it, but I have. Just going to check it again in the morning and then send it in.

Realised if I want to spend my life in bed because its more comfortable and warmer, no-one else knows or cares lol

Only downside is that I know some of my colleagues (work-mates) who also need the job will be wanting the same course and there is only one spot. In the past I have deliberately flunked an interview to allow someone else to get a job as i think they deserved it, and I'm sure would have probably got the job on their own merit, but i wanted to make sure.

I won't be doing that this time but it will leave me open as a target if i'm lucky enough to get it, and although i call them work-mates they are not always loyal and are not people I see outside work. Probably I'm worrying too much, won't even get it, last 3 I've applied for have gone to other people who've then moved on to other stuff and not stuck at it

Sazzie23

I was lucky enough to get a place on the course I wanted to do, and it's paid for, but crikey it's hard and I'm worried I won't be good enough to pass. The pass rate is extremely high compared to most courses, though there's good reason for it but still means it's very tough.

Other slightly unexpected side effect (as I hadn't thought about it) getting there costs about £25 a day, I can claim some of this back but I've had to pay for 6 days so far and probably another 4 befor ei get any of this back.

On top of which there are books to buy, some I don't think I can do without, obviously in the hunt for second hand but specialist so not easily available and could do with the newest versions for some of them.
Final unexpected cost was my lack of appropriate clothing. I have a work uniform and a few going out clothes but very little in between. Been refusing to buy more until I lose weight as I do have quitE a lot of clothes but non that fit.
I do usually make some clothes purchases before my annual holiday centre trip, so my friends don't realise quite how skint I am, so I brought this money forwards and got some new tops and a pair of leggings that work ok.
Been taking my own snacks and lunch so that's not a problem.

Need to get my head down to study and stop wimping but I decided the peripherals being sorted will help me concentrate on what I need to do.

January2015

Sazzie23 wrote: »

I was lucky enough to get a place on the course I wanted to do, and it's paid for, but crikey it's hard and I'm worried I won't be good enough to pass. The pass rate is extremely high compared to most courses, though there's good reason for it but still means it's very tough.

Other slightly unexpected side effect (as I hadn't thought about it) getting there costs about £25 a day, I can claim some of this back but I've had to pay for 6 days so far and probably another 4 befor ei get any of this back.

On top of which there are books to buy, some I don't think I can do without, obviously in the hunt for second hand but specialist so not easily available and could do with the newest versions for some of them.
Final unexpected cost was my lack of appropriate clothing. I have a work uniform and a few going out clothes but very little in between. Been refusing to buy more until I lose weight as I do have quitE a lot of clothes but non that fit.
I do usually make some clothes purchases before my annual holiday centre trip, so my friends don't realise quite how skint I am, so I brought this money forwards and got some new tops and a pair of leggings that work ok.
Been taking my own snacks and lunch so that's not a problem.

Need to get my head down to study and stop wimping but I decided the peripherals being sorted will help me concentrate on what I need to do.

Congratulations on getting on the course:j, but £25 per day:eek:
I think returning to study of any kind is hard, but hopefully once you get your head around it you will realise you can do this, and hopefully enjoy the challenge. The studying at home bit would be a killer for me so, just like your BC default, I am in awe of you

Regarding the new clothes - stuff worrying about your weight, just enjoy the much deserved treat of some new clothes.

Take care -x-

in_need_of_direction

Wise words from January It's not often that the opportunities you want come your way so just sideline everything else and throw yourself into this. You can play catch up when you get the qualification. Good luck with it

Sazzie23

Oh I'm a bad person but this is on my mind and I can't say anything to anyone so here it is.

I am jealous of some of the things some friends not in work have and can afford when I can't.

I wrote out the what and the why and then blanked it to keep all parties anonymous.

So now after much procrastination I'm going to try to fix my own finances which seem to be in chaos again and stop hankering I ever I can't have.

in_need_of_direction

You may be jealous of what they have but you've no idea how it is being paid for!