Tm's MFW ramblings

turtlemoose

Wahey, btl balance has dropped to the next band, 48980.55

edinburgher

Call me a cynic, but I think I'm not getting the job because I'm not a white 40-something man. I've been here too long, seen this happen too many times.

That is rubbish. Speaking as a white 30-something man, I am always very aware of the fact that the world often feels like it is pretty much set up for my enjoyment

turtlemoose

I can't tell if you're serious or sarcastic there Ed

Looks like OH will be going back to the lower paid/higher expenses job. I'm a little disappointed for how it affects our DF/MF journey. However, I've taken some time to have a think about this over the weekend. I'm very unhappy in my job, and it has a huge effect on other areas of my life. Yet I continue because as a family we need that money. If my OH has a chance to be happier at work, with an income that we can still live on and still make our debt min payments on - well then he should take it. How awful for him to have to feel as miserable as I do, that's not worth any amount of money.

SuperSecretSquirrel

You shouldn't have to feel miserable just so that he doesn't turtlemoose. There has to be a fairer way of spreading the pain. How would OH feel if it was you taking the pay cut to live a happier life? What could be done to top up income (shared effort, not just your effort) to make this a realistic prospect? Two happy partners enjoying life and earning enough between them makes for a happy marriage with little to no resentment. Apologies for sticking my oar in if it's not wanted

edinburgher

I can't tell if you're serious or sarcastic there Ed

Deadly serious. I get the impression it is very easy being a young white man vs. almost other combination of gender and ethnicity!

turtlemoose

SSS, stick your oar in all you want

I have a gross income of just over 40k plus fuel card. OH is currently in the highest paid job he's ever had (and he's 39yo) - 23.5k plus van.

Our essential outgoings (and I mean bare basics - no tv/clothes/haircuts/entertainment) are £2320 (includes £310 debt payments) so OH doesn't even bring that home after deductions (and minus CSA of £125 a month).

I just don't see how we could drop our income. We pay £600 in mortgage payments, renting in a worse area would be about £525 so not worth the saving after fees etc. Nursery at 690 (4 week or 862.50 in 5 week month) wipes us out. Yeah that'll reduce soon but it won't go, we'll still need childcare once he start school, and actually I would like to have another child....so that's another 3-4 years of £700+ a month childcare. I just don't see how I could do it.

Ref other income I really don't know. He won't do anything else as he will not give up any time with his eldest son (we have him 2 weeknights and every weekend). So any extra income would have to be me, and I just don't know what I could do on top of a lower paid job, not enough to compensate for the difference.

If you have some magic answer or brilliant ideas please please share

edinburgher

No ideas, sounds like you have some tough choices to make!

What would be the effect of OH becoming a SAHD, perhaps with a part time job? You'd save £700/m on childcare costs, but would lose perhaps £1350 in salary?

Might sound a bit radical, but you earn considerably more than him and sound well established in your career.

turtlemoose

SAHD logical, but we have discussed already and it's not an option OH wants to consider.

edinburgher

• Could you extend your mortgage term?
• Would it make sense to consolidate the debts that you are paying off?
• Do you have access to any sort of before tax childcare vouchers scheme to reduce the cost of childcare?
• Do you think that proposed extensions to free childcare would benefit you?

turtlemoose

I doubt we could extend the term. I got this mortgage (and the other one) before the affordability checks came in. Also what would be the benefit? Ok short term lower payments but we'd be increasing our MF date - that's the wrong direction!

The debts we are paying are currently 0%, 0% and 4.9%, so probably unlikely to be able to save by consolidating.

We do both get childcare vouchers, so we benefit from approx £140 of tax relief pcm. It's only been this year we've both got them, before that it was just me, so half the relief.

The proposed extensions to childcare. If they adhere to their election campaign rates of 30 hours for 3 and 4 year olds from 2017 then I will be paying for wraparound care for a 5 year old at that time. Let's assume baby 2 is born 2016 (everything crossed). I will still have 1 year low income/no income (whispers of cuts to SMP are floating around), 1 year full nursery costs while my child is 2 years old, then the term after that child turns 3 in 2019 I'll get the (assumed) 30 hours which would be a massive help. But we need to survive until that point.