I've got myself into a terrible situation :(

fullofwoe

I have had issues with money for the last eight years, and I now have myself in a situation I am not proud of, at all, but need some advice.

Basically, I got a few years ago into a payday loan hell where I had about six out at once and it all got too much. I also had credit cards and overdrafts all maxed out. It was a nightmare.

About 18 months ago, I moved into a new place and my mother let me order a few things from her littlewoods account. She has been a customer of theirs for about 40 years and had never missed a payment etc. To cut a long story short, I got completely carried away and ordered quite a lot, on the ''buy now pay next year'' system. For various reasons, I wasn't able to pay in time and for the last six months I am missing payments as I am struggling with all of my other bills and minimum wage.

Now, I changed the account address to get things delivered here so my mother has no idea, more to the point she is in her sixties and disabled and hasn't worked for years. So I dont want to worry her but also, I am afraid the debt collectors will start hounding her and possibly enter her home.

I have tried to talk to NDR (debt collector who are now dealing with account) but they wont speak to me, only my mother.

The worst part is, after all the interest has been applied (since i missed the interest free period) - the total is now £8,000.

This is absolutely insane, and I can see no way out. My mum thinks I only owe a couple of hundred and am on top of it. I was severely depressed and not thinking straight when I was ordering all of the stuff, I had money issues for so long I really should know better.

Lately, I have actually felt quite suicidal over it as it is such a big sum, my mum would have a heart attack I think and I cannot imagine how to pay it off or deal with it.

I know I need to be honest with her, but honestly I don't know how she would ever understand.

I am really expecting to be told that it is my fault for being so stupid, and I completely agree. I have had my head in the sand about it for a year, so if anyone thinks they can offer me any advice I would really appreciate it.

Thanks.

fullofwoe

I guess the other thing I really wanted to know, was would I be able to 'transfer' the debt into my name? So at least it is me dealing with all the hassle and crap from debt collectors etc and not my mother?

downnotout

First off, don't panic, its only money.
This site is full of people who have walked your path, or are standing in your shoes.
If I was you (from experiance) the first thing I would do if a statement of affairs, you can find this somewhere on here if you use the search.

Secondly, I would ask am I ready to face my problems? and will I do everything to sort it?

I say this because the little things at the beginning are the easiest (or hardest, depending on who you listen too) but remember one thing, no one ever got sent to prison for being in debt (well not in this day and age).

You need to assess what you owe (to the penny) and who too. Without this you can not get on top of it. Secondly if you feel strong enough to talk to your mum regarding this, then do so. But for now get the top line figures that you owe.
You then need to work out what your cost of living is, so use the statement of affairs, and be honest with it, there is no point in setting unrealistic goals.

Finally work out a plan of action, now this depends on the income/out goings ratio. But don't worry no one will judge you on here, I don't agree with taking credit out in other peoples names for what it is worth, but like I said I don't agree, but I am not criticising you for it. lets get this sorted yeah?

You will find a lot of support on here, and through experience you will get a lot of valuable information.
First job is to do a statement of affairs, as I say use the search function on this site, someone will link to it. Then come back and let the experts advise further.

Chin up, it gets better.

tlc678910

Hi fullofwoe, sorry to hear of your situation - please don't let yourself do anything drastic in your upset - it is clear from your post that your mum loves you and imagine how she would feel if she lost you over money.
It sounds like you are trying to juggle the expenses of living in your own place as well as your debt and I wondered if your mum had a spare room and would allow you to stay until you get things straightened out. Perhaps this way you could try to tell your mum the truth and have a plan thought out of what you could offer towards rent/bills and a chunk towards this debt each month. You could even give your full wage to your mum and ask her to give you a weekly allowance if you think it would help to sort out the situation and rebuild her trust.
It sounds like it could be worth you contacting a free debt charity for specialist advice.
Your mum might need a little time to process the situation but I'm sure if you show her you are truly sorry and take responsibility for a repayment plan she will forgive you. This too will pass. Good luck x

Fruball

Hi FoW

It sounds like you are really stressed about this, understandably, but please keep in mind (as downnotout says) It IS only money! There is always a way to sort these things out. You just need the right advice and help to do it

I called Stepchange about my debt and they were so lovely to talk to. They don't judge in any way. They just give you advice on how to work things out and they help you do that

I would definitely recommend you call them, even if it is just to get some info from them. They don't charge any fees, it is a charity

Best of luck. You will sort this

[Deleted User]

Firstly, debt collectors have absolutely no power to enter a home, or take property.

Secondly, suicide is not the answer, (doubly so in this case), since it wouldn't cancel the debt, because the debt isn't in your name.

All you would do is leave your mother grieving, AND still in debt.

National_Debtline

fullofwoe wrote: »

I guess the other thing I really wanted to know, was would I be able to 'transfer' the debt into my name? So at least it is me dealing with all the hassle and crap from debt collectors etc and not my mother?

Hi FOW

Firstly, well done on plucking up the courage to post everything up here. It's easier said than done, don't let anyone tell you differently.

Secondly, to answer your above question, no I'm afraid you can't simply transfer the debts from your mother's name into yours. I understand your thinking, but the rules are that your mother is responsible for all activity on that account (barring fraud etc., obviously).

It's not for me to tell you how to broach this matter with your mother, if at all. In my experience, however, you may find it easier to come clean and then move forward rather than hide the problem any longer. For a start, it's very difficult to continually intercept correspondence intended for someone else, and it's also a big weight to carry on your shoulders.

As you can see from the posts above, brilliant support available here - both practical and emotional. Make the most of it.

Regards

Dennis @NDL

michael1983l

If your mum can't afford it, maybe the best option would be to hold your hands up and tell the company you have used the account against the wishes of the account holder. I am sure your mum never give you permission to take her account into the sum of £8k.

Plus side, your mum would be cleared of her debt

Down side, you would likely get a criminal conviction.

It is what I'd do, either that or find a way to pay it back and get her out of default.

Trixxibell

Hiya a few years ago a friend of mine ordered from my littlewoods account and couldn't afford the repayments. I was studying at the time and couldn't afford them either and started getting loads of letters etc. I phoned littlewoods and explained I had ordered them for my friend and they were able to transfer the debt to her. I still have my account with littlewoods and my credit with them was restored. My friend had to make a payment agreement with them.

So it is sortable you will have to tell you mum so she can get the debt moved to you. Littlewoods were very understanding to me and my friend (this happened 4 years ago and yes we are still friends)

Let us know how u get on xx

Trixxibell

Littlewoods do allow customers to order on behalf of others so your mum won't get penalised. I've been with them for over 10 years and as I say they were very understanding. If I remember rightly after I called them they sent a letter to me where I had to list everything that was my friends orders and the cost and all her contact details. My friend then got a letter sent to her to confirm this information was correct xx

Really hope this helps you out, you took a big step admitting everything on here. Hope you take all the great advice that's been given.

Xx

michael1983l

Trixxibell wrote: »

Hiya a few years ago a friend of mine ordered from my littlewoods account and couldn't afford the repayments. I was studying at the time and couldn't afford them either and started getting loads of letters etc. I phoned littlewoods and explained I had ordered them for my friend and they were able to transfer the debt to her. I still have my account with littlewoods and my credit with them was restored. My friend had to make a payment agreement with them.

So it is sortable you will have to tell you mum so she can get the debt moved to you. Littlewoods were very understanding to me and my friend (this happened 4 years ago and yes we are still friends)

Let us know how u get on xx

The OP could try but the outstanding balance is very high at 8k, I am not sure that Littlewoods would be happy to transfer that balance to somebody that on paper to them is probably less likely to pay up.