dh not 'getting' it....

Ruby789

kboss2010 wrote: »

He insists on cooking Jamie Oliver recipes all the time and he won't eat what I cook because he doesn't like vegetarian meals or healthy Chinese food which I lived on before we met - Jamie's recipes are really ingredient-heavy!

I have exactly the same problem. He doesn't like my veggie meals either, so he shops (and cooks) all our weekend food. We're not living together. When I ask how much my half is it's nuts. I can eat for a week on what is spent on a weekend. Plus he won't be dissuaded from the pre-dinner hummus + doritios combination, @ £5 every week.

OP: I really hope you can get this resolved, you sound thouroughly fed up and it's really unfair. I would like to think if you spelled it out to him really firmly that this is not a sustainble or happy way for you to live, he would try to change. Then you'd need to change how you do things (as others suggest) so he can't slip back.

Good luck with it

kboss2010

I don't believe in taking on a person's debt they accrued either before they met you or got themselves into. To me, if they respected your relationship enough they wouldn't expect you to pay their debts. You're two adults, one shouldn't have to pay for mistakes that the other made.

I forgo treats to save for the things I want. I would never pay my OH's debt because he frittered his money away.

I had a flatmate and a cousin whose parents always bailed them out and they never learned their lesson. My nanna did the same and passed her debt onto my dad and his siblings. They ended up having to pay £300 a month each when she was hospitalised and she still died in debt - nothing changed once she was better and she continued to borrow money she didn't have until she died (I should say it was for frivolous things like heaps of Christmas presents/food which was thrown away over holidays/cigarettes etc) Same goes for your partner. Some people just need to be taught the value of money the hard way, if necessary.

Obviously it's different if it's debt accrued from a joint expense.

kboss2010

cottage_retreatist wrote: »

But it's exhausting and I'm very tempted to ask Martin Lewis to start a hypnotherapy tape I could play for all men who can't get to grips with money!!! :money:

hugs, C-R x

It is very hard, I have a lot of sympathy. My gran said to me the other day "men don't know the value of a household, they just don't have a clue!" - in my life, that's true!

To be fair to some guys, they manage the household finances and it's their partners who are clueless. My OH's dad is an example, however, I suspect that's why my bf doesn't have a clue. His mum never taught him because she never had to do it herself and his dad never found the time.

Fruball

Apologies - quick test to see if this is working

and it is... other pages I am replying to are not working.

Ignore, carry on as before lol x

debbym

evie451 wrote: »

yeah my ex was the same with money....everything halved even though I earned half what he did........I really wish we had got on the same page financially when we were young and before kids it would have been so much easier. He had/has an extraordinary sense of entitlement which meant constant arguements about the mortgage v handmade motorbike boots and the like.......I just read a book with a great attitude to this 'Love is not enough' which has a great chapter on organising couples finances, download the sample from Amazon it might be covered or just get the book if you can

Is it this one?
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Love-Not-Enough-Smart-Womans/dp/0007235194/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1376200297&sr=1-1&keywords=Love+is+not+enough