dh not 'getting' it....

tootoo

i give the reasons for saving money, he thinks theyre great, but he doesnt seem to 'get it'.
simple things like turning off things not being used, cutting down the shopping (still needs 2 or 3 bags of crisps per day and 2 or 3 chocolate bars, he loved my cakes yesterday but still needed a choc bar too!).
do i just admit he will never get it? i annoys me as i'm on a very low wage due to being part time, we halve all bills and yet im the only one who saves?
sorry - rant over

duchy

So what would happen if you only bought one bag of crisps or one chocolate bar ? He only eats them because they are there

lindsaygalaxy

Why do you halve the bills if you do not earn the same? Wouldn't it make more sense to pay a % each so you both have the same (ish) left each month? Why do you work part time? Are you looking after children or are you not well? I think paying in the same each only works if you work similarly. How is the housework split? If you work part-time so do most of the house work but still contribute in the same amount as your OH you are getting a bad deal!

culpepper

How unfair is that! You shouldn't be paying for his treats from your half of the bills.

If you add all those chocs and crisps up, how much of the grocery bill is just them? So how much of the remainder are you paying for completely on your own?

I think you should tell him you are not buying any more chocolate and crisps because they are bad for health and anyway they are supposed to be treat things not Groceries.

When he says he doesn't like that idea, you could suggest he buys them for himself if he cant do without them. Don't back down,stay strong

Once that is under control, then you can tackle the next niggle.

-taff

He doesn't need it, he eats it because it's there. i have one like that.When it isn't there. he eats something else.
I bought him an easy cookbook so now he eats his own homemade cakes

littleskintdragon

you have my sympathy!!

I dont have the crisps and choc problem, but I try so hard to make things work financially and keep on top of the bills etc and he goes out and leaves the tv and lights on, or leaves water running in the shower before going in (we're on a meter).

When I mention money he goes off in a mood!!

Think I need a recording from Martin that i can play when he's sleeping so he wakes up a true mse'er!!

Fruball

lindsaygalaxy wrote: »

Why do you halve the bills if you do not earn the same? Wouldn't it make more sense to pay a % each so you both have the same (ish) left each month? Why do you work part time? Are you looking after children or are you not well? I think paying in the same each only works if you work similarly. How is the housework split? If you work part-time so do most of the house work but still contribute in the same amount as your OH you are getting a bad deal!

Totally agree with all of this post.

My ex was just the same - wasted money all the time whilst I was doing all I could to save money. It was one of the contributing factors to me leaving him :T

It is selfish to expect you to fund his treats, especially as you are on a low income.

sonastin

My OH has a similar attitude - he agrees we need to save money but he considers the things he wants as essential and the things that would really make my life easier to be extravagant so that is where the cuts should be made.

I think you really have to be firm with him - you don't need to pay for all the treats and goodies. It doesn't mean that he can't have them, just that they don't come from the shared bills. And what you save is going to go on treats for you - you shouldn't be paying for (for example) him to join you on holiday if he hasn't saved for a holiday. Go away with your friends instead!

Brian8888

If you can afford it order Tony Robbins Get the Edge package and listen to the whole program together.

evie451

yeah my ex was the same with money....everything halved even though I earned half what he did........I really wish we had got on the same page financially when we were young and before kids it would have been so much easier. He had/has an extraordinary sense of entitlement which meant constant arguements about the mortgage v handmade motorbike boots and the like.......I just read a book with a great attitude to this 'Love is not enough' which has a great chapter on organising couples finances, download the sample from Amazon it might be covered or just get the book if you can

tootoo

Thank you for the replies.
A while ago I asked if he'd contribute more to the bills/mort ac as it would help and he agreed (only £100 per month more) so that helped. Hes self employed so never a guaranteed wage. I look after our children but work part time.
I pay for supposedly half of the groceries but as I do all the shopping I always spend mire on milk etc. Im counting every penny of the grocery budget and im determined to get it lower. I think ill buy x amount of treats for him and then once gone, they're gone.

I think im more worried long term as his parents arent very good with money so hr hasn't had a good example. .
Im always looking ahead and ge doesn't seem to think that way.