Can't help but feel stressed.

worriedwilf

I have removed this post for personal reasons.

harrys_dad

Firstly, no need to feel ashamed. There are many people in your position, including some of your friends I expect. Secondly, well done for being in control of the situation and keeping to a plan to pay it all of in two years.

As far as your wife is concerned, who are we to advise whether to share more with her or not. She is clearly accepting you dealing with the situation, and presumably therefore keeping to your budget, which is good. She also clearly does not want to know any more, but you need to share.

Why not share with us, start a diary here, keep us informed, and get encouragement from us.

moohound

I would be surprised if you were the only ones with this level of debt among the people you know, but it might turn out that you are the only ones dealing with it.

It is easy to get a bit obsessed with it all, but try and relax, deal with it each month, watch your spending all the time to get it down, but don't let it intrude on your family life. Kind of, pay it then, 'put it in the vault' until next month.

Try to gently discuss it with her and ask her opinions on the best strategies. If you keep a positive spin on this and emphasise how well you are doing it might make you both feel better.

Have you worked out a debt free day, have you got any special plans for when its all paid and you can save up for something nice.

Many people who use this site have above average salaries, are professionals, so don't feel ashamed at all, its easily done, as I know from my own experiences, it can spiral out of control very quickly.

The good spending habit you have learned will serve you well when this is all paid off.

Having the majority at 0% is a big help as everything you pay comes off the debt and it not eaten up by charges and interest.

When I was on my DMP, three of my creditors were adding interest at twice what I was paying, now that IS depressing.

24 months is not long really, but 24 months of fretting will seem like an eternity.

you could start a Debt Free Diary here if you like to vent your spleen as it were, it helps a lot of people keep motivated.

good luck with it.

xx Moo

zenshi

I am only in the early stages of my DMP but have come to terms with it although I still get quite stressed at times.

BUT I have been talking about it and am I so surprised at the amount of people I know who are in the same boat. It's as if they don't want to be the one to admit they're having problems but once someone else says they are, then they admit it. And they aren't the ones I had expected to have money issues

worriedwilf

thanks for the replies guys.

I am definitely going to use MSE as a way of talking about it. I feel so much better already.

Have you worked out a debt free day, have you got any special plans for when its all paid and you can save up for something nice.

We really want to move house so that is our incentive. We are not prepared to move until all of this debt is gone!!

jaxsmar

Glad you posted so many of us are in the same boat, worrying about debt, you have an advantage in your managing to pay off your debt in quite a sizeable chunk each month. It sounds to me that you are carrying the burden of the debt alone (I'am a single parent and I have no one to off-load my worries and concerns to apart from MSE;) but you should be sharing the 'burden' after all you got into debt 'together' so perhaps your feeling somewhat peeved that your wife doesn't seemed interested, you need reassurance from her that your in it together, even if she trust you to deal with the debt you feel she should take an interest but some people can only handle so much.

Maybe it's not that she isn't interested but your not being acknowledge or appreciated for the 'load' you have taken on?

raq

hi there

I agree with the other posts here. You would honestly be surprised who ISN,T in debt these days. Just briefly. I was actually out a month back with a few people I knew. All had the WAG life style but sadly not happy with that. Turns out the 3 out of the 5 of them are so much in debt one of them wasn,t sure whether she would still have a roof over her head soon, the other one had £20.00 for a weeks shopping to feed 5 people and the other one is selling her large property secretly because she doesn,t want people talking.... say no more...

Good on you for tackling the debt.

i will be honest with you , we are also in debt from work in the house and various other things but like you we are paying it and we are happy and happy as a family.

best of luck

worriedwilf

Thanks for the support guys. I think that I need to stop thinking aobut it so much!!

madgeorge

I'm in a similar situation to you wilf and whilst I can understand everyone's comments, it can be very hard and lonely having to deal with it all by yourself.

Obviously the majority of posters on here are great and provide plenty of moral support, but sometimes some support a little closer to home is massively important too.

Cuchuliann

I am in a similar situation though the debt levels are massively reduced now and all is going to plan.. but like you I was beset with feelings of shame, particularly since my entire family are 'high achievers'... anyway, I found support by opening up to some close friends, who unsurprisingly where in the same situation. That helps a lot. Still haven't told my immediate family ( which was tricky when my brother got married in California and we were all expected to go.... paying for that with no access to any credit and every penny going on debt repayment.. was a fun 6 months, as was the invented torn ankle ligament to explain why I didn't get a hire car at the airport... they wanted a credit card security :-) ....)

Anyway, those friends I trust know and I regularly lurk here and other forums... the debt boat is a big one, you are not alone and congratulate yourself for dealing with it... Its a brilliant thing to be doing.

Newyorkdreams

Hi WW - just wanted to share that I also play the role of budgeter in my family - my husband is quite happy to let me deal with it and he plays a full part in the actual money saving process rather than the budget/monitoring/management process. I think it really should be based on what you are both happy with - what is right for you, is right for you. It motivates me to see the money coming down. I've just been accepted for another 0% card with a balance of £9300 so that has made me feel happy! Congratulations for dealing with the debt, that is the most important thing of all, and of course, what is right for your family.

NYD