Help! I'm really worried.

tufty22

My husband pays maintenance for his two girls. As we have other bills (rent, a loan etc) I pay half. We both work full time but really aren't high earners.

We can afford to pay okay but the thing is, I'm pregnant. As I'm going back to work part-time, we won't be entitled to tax credits as we'll be JUST over their limit. The nursery fees alone will cost me my monthly wage! I don't have anyone who could look after baby for us so nursery is the only option and even if I stopped working, surely the tax credits people go off my last years earnings? The three of us would be living off one wage and not much of its left after the csa are paid.

I tried asking the CAB but they weren't a lot of help.

I'm really scared that we won't be able to keep up payments on things.

Any help appreciated.

Thanks.

kevin137

As hard as this sounds, if you can't afford a child, why are you having one...???

I know this is personal choice, but there is only you who can decide if this is right for you or not, and the consequences are the pickle you are in now...

The CSA payments will go down after the child is born, and you must notify immediately after birth so to get a reassessment, you still need to apply for WTC and CTC and of course CB and then all you can do is try to reduce the payments and costs you have going out... Reorganise your finances while you can before you get behind, try to get interest down by moving to 0% interest cards etc... this will help a little but the rest is down to you...

Good luck

clearingout

is the maintenance you pay in accordance with CSA figures?

shoe*diva79

tufty22 wrote: »

My husband pays maintenance for his two girls. As we have other bills (rent, a loan etc) I pay half. We both work full time but really aren't high earners.

We can afford to pay okay but the thing is, I'm pregnant. As I'm going back to work part-time, we won't be entitled to tax credits as we'll be JUST over their limit. The nursery fees alone will cost me my monthly wage! I don't have anyone who could look after baby for us so nursery is the only option and even if I stopped working, surely the tax credits people go off my last years earnings? The three of us would be living off one wage and not much of its left after the csa are paid.

I tried asking the CAB but they weren't a lot of help.

I'm really scared that we won't be able to keep up payments on things.

Any help appreciated.

Thanks.

How old are his children? Is he on CSA1 nor csa2?

Ill assume Csa2 for ease. His assessment will remain at 20% but he will have a 15% disregard for the child you will have together.

You will get child benefit which is £20.30 a week (unless one of you is a higher rate tax payer). Hve you looked at a childminder or a nanny as these are often cheaper then nursery. D you have to go back to your particular job? Can you find evening or weekend work which will enable your husband to look after your child so no chldcare to pay?

The debt wannabe board can help with lowering outgoings.

FBaby

Don't panic. Consider the maintenance payments are essential payment that needs to be made each month, and workout your new budget to make it match to your new life and make adjustments where you can accordingly. Remember that you will get child benefit AND if you are on csa, you will be able to reduce maintenance on account of your new baby. It is scary, but in the end, there is always a way.

tufty22

kevin137 wrote: »

As hard as this sounds, if you can't afford a child, why are you having one...???

Because we want one. Because it was a hard fought for battle that took 8 years and nearly my sanity with it. Because i don't see why I should not have children because someone I have never met has two children (who we never see) with my husband.

Hmm I'm not sure which csa one he's on, its the older one though, I think its from 2002? His girls are 13 and 11. His payments are in line with them, yes.

The problem I have with changing jobs (apart from the fact that there's nothing about), is that for a while at least I'll have to pay my maternity back if I don't return.

We also live in a bit of an isolated spot and I can't drive (no, I can't move but I am on the transfer list to try to get closer to the town).

thanks for your replies.

shoe*diva79

You dont have to pay back statutory maternity pay. You may have to pay back enhanced maternity pay if your company offer it should you not return.

CM is a priority outgoing so sit and look at your budget now. Start making cut backs where you can. Has your husband asked for a reassessment for the carers element reducing? It will reduce again when the eldest is 14. And then again when eldest is 16.

clearingout

if your payments are in line with CSA calculations then there is nothing you can do. You will get a small reduction when your child is born if paying through the CSA (or you can make the reduction in line with the CSA calculator if not) but that's it.

If you have debts, there is a lot of support on this site to help you deal with that. You can also look at making sure you're getting the best deal possible on insurance, utilities etc. Other than that, it's a question of managing - it is laughable to me that you complain about 'three of us living off one wage' when we are 4 of us living off one wage, no input whatsoever from their father. Believe me, it could be worse!!!

LizzieS_2

tufty22 wrote: »

As I'm going back to work part-time, we won't be entitled to tax credits as we'll be JUST over their limit. The nursery fees alone will cost me my monthly wage!

Have you added in 70% of childcare costs up to a maximum of £175 per week before determining you are just over the limit for tax credits?

FBaby

wouldn't you be better off going back to work full-time? Surely if you won't be elligible for tax credits, then you will better off that way. You might not want to, but that's another matter. In the end, you (as in you and partner) will have to pay your bills, and that includes maintenance. You might not have a choice. I did because I too didn't have a choice. It's not ideal, but it's not the end of the world, and I'm now pleased because it has allowed to progress up the ladder much quicker than I would have otherwise and am more better off financially now than I was then, so it was tough, but an investment in the end.

kevin137

@tufty22

I wasn't having a go, i just wanted you to see the other side of the argument...

You are going to bring a child into a hard financial reality, and while it sucks that the "other woman" has the children and you want these badly, this is something you knew when you got into a relationship with someone who already had kids...

And with that comes either hardship as you are about to find out, or no children. Many choose the hardship, and a lot of them struggle a lot with money and become bitter as they see all the other money going to the ex etc....

You have to try and split what you know as money going out from your child and just see it as a bill that you can't get rid of, or you will get bitter that they have everything and your child has nothing...

It will take a strong woman to do this, but it is possible to do, as many on here will testify too...

Just go into it knowing that it will not be a bed of roses and sometimes you have to make tough choices and you will probably end up going back to work to support your family... Just remember that you will be supporting YOUR family not hers...! Your money is your money...!!! And that makes things a little easier to live with knowing that you are doing the best you can by your child...