Why can't I stop? SOA

bouncydog1

exarmydreamer wrote: »

Are there any charities who can help fund, can you apply for DLA as he needs extra help?.

Link is TOFS.org.uk


(Tablets are hard work for older people - not sure why it won't post the link)!

hereigoagain22

Thank you, I have found the TOFS Facebook page and reading down the page most of the post-surgery stories are exactly as DS is now. I've posted about him to see if anyone can help.

carrielovesfanta

Hi OP. I Ws just thinking about the family visits. Obviously I don't know your sister's money situation but perhaps if she finds travelling to you difficult, maybe she could give you a little petrol money every other time you go, so the cost is split?

exarmydreamer

I would give the DLA a go, I have 2 children with Autism,. The award can be a 1 to 2 yr period. Speak to his doctors/social worker (disability team). It sounds like he needs lots of care, so therefore you definately should apply.

Believe it or not most are turned down first time, basically because the form has not been filled in correctly. You have to show how much help he needs compared to a healthy child. You can get assistance to help fill in the form.

Please re-apply, it would help with getting other help for him possibly. It would help cover petrol costs to hospital etc too.

Sambucus_Nigra

Personally I think your priorities are completely up the swanee. You smoke like chimneys yet your kid has lung problems. You spend money on fuel to visit rather than talk to your family and get them round yours for a change. You spend money on the gym and sky and yet can't afford clothes for the kids.

Honestly; you need a complete reassessment of your priorities.

rising_from_the_ashes

hereigoagain22 wrote: »

Fridge knackered half the food today, it's been freezing for the past few days but thawed overnight and all my fruit/veg etc. had gone mushy and smelly :-( I will get money or vouchers from inlaws and my parents for Christmas which should be enough to put towards a second hand fridge-freezer. I don't need anything anyway!

Good .... too high a risk of food poisoning!

hereigoagain22 wrote: »

I've joined the January Groceries Challenge but started at £330 eeek! I know I can do much better but just giving myself a starter budget.

We all have to start somewhere!:D Trying to cut loads off straight away wouldn't work - you need to do it gradually so don't worry about that! See you on OS!

hereigoagain22 wrote: »

I agree with fornightly trips, it will be hard but I'm sure they'll understand (and might even make the effort to come here) and I can ring my Mum for a weekly chat with the free minutes I never use and can't get out of paying for on my mobile phone!

Great! I know it will be hard but needs must I'm afraid

hereigoagain22 wrote: »

Contents insurance - I covered this in another post, I didn't mean having no insurance I was wondering if I could cancel this policy without incurring charges and take out a cheaper policy elsewhere?

Sorry I mis-understood - you'd need to look at the T&Cs of your policy. You should be able to cancel but there will probably be a charge & depending how far through the policy year you are, it may not be worth it

hereigoagain22 wrote: »

With smoking I found it really difficult to get help. I visited the GP but had to wait for a referral to the stop smoking service which took 6 weeks and by this time I had lost interest in smoking. I use smoking for the enjoyment but need to find something to replace this!

Try again ... go back to the GP - honestly, it's a huge financial drain not to mention the health risks.

hereigoagain22 wrote: »

NEVER getting into debt for Christmas again. I still haven't paid off the year before. I am planning already and budgetting £5 per person.

Ouch!:(

WantToBeSE

Hi OP.

in regards to the smoking, have you read Allen Carrs book? http://www.amazon.co.uk/Allen-Carrs-Easy-Stop-Smoking/dp/014103940X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1356337986&sr=8-1
this helped me to quit over 2 years ago, when i didnt evenn really want to.

My son is asthmatic, and stopping smoking has stopped all of the hospital visits that were Asthma related. I am not proud of the fact that my smoking obviously exaserbated his condition, but i am glad for his sake as well as mine, that i gave up. And yes, i smoked outside etc.
Financially, you need to give up. You know it, so i would stop using excuses such as waiting for the GP etc, and start now.
Sorry if that sounds harsh, but as an ex-smoker, i know all of the excuses that i used t tell myself were EXCUSES, not valid reasons.

In regards to the clothes for your children- i understand that you want the best for them, who doesnt. I was bought up wearing secondhand stuff, and i love buying my kids new clothes. However, i sell their old stuff (and mine) on ebay to be able to fund their new clothes.

Good luck, it can be hard to get used to living differently, but not impossible

tallyhoh

I stopped smoking when my mom died, trust me if you had seen her gasping for breath you would never touch another one.

It doesnt matter that you smoke outside, the crap in fags clings to your clothes, hair & skin & you transfer this.

Ellieseleven

WantToBeSE wrote: »

Hi OP.

in regards to the smoking, have you read Allen Carrs book? http://www.amazon.co.uk/Allen-Carrs-Easy-Stop-Smoking/dp/014103940X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1356337986&sr=8-1
this helped me to quit over 2 years ago, when i didnt evenn really want to.

Good luck, it can be hard to get used to living differently, but not impossible

I smoked for over 30 years and gave up 10 years ago in January - you have to want to give up and I used all sorts of things to help me.

I read Allen Carrs book which really makes you think and I changed many of my habits that I linked to smoking e.g. I now drink Green Tea instead of coffee. I changed my route to work as I associated landmarks with the point at which I lit a cigarette. I put the money away that I would have spent on cigs and treated my self every so often thinking that if I smoked I wouldn't have been able to buy A or B

I set a quit date a few weeks beforehand and gradually up to that date kept a diary of every cigarette that I smoked, gradually reducing the amount up until the day. I then gave a mark out of 10 for a)how much I enjoyed it and b)how much I needed it - to start with my enjoyment and need were marked quite highly but as I weaned myself off cigs that figure came down until my enjoyment was around 2/10 and need about the same

I joined a smoking cessation group which helped and they also provided quit aids. This group helped me enormously in the early days but I gave up the lozenges after 5 days as there was no need and they gave me heartburn. On day 4 I could have quite easlily murdered someone for a fag but I somehow got through the day and the following day the craving had more or less gone.

I have had relapses a couple of times as my OH smokes - these have been on holidays or nights out when I have had a drink (something that I strongly associated with smoking) but when I started my DMP I decided that I was crazy to even allow a small lapse so haven't touched any at all for a long time.

Giving up smoking for me has been one of my greatest achievements and I am so proud of myself for doing so that I shout it from the rooftops (as you can see by this post)

I hope that you manage to sort yourself out but the fact that you are on here is a giant leap forward as you recognise that you have a problem and are seeking advice

Take care
Ellie xx

trulymadlydeeply_indebt!

Hi there. I didn't want to read and run.

Firstly, congratulations on having your Lightbulb Moment and realising things are a bit !!!!-eyed. You sound quite grounded and sensible, but like most of us, have "silly spend" times. You're only human!

You've had a lot of sound advice on here and i can see you are looking at things in a new light. I hope I can add another bit of advice.

Have you seen Little Miss Uni-Debt's thread Starting Again 1% at a Time? I have joined this and it is AMAZING! I managed to clear 67% off my Next Account in 1 month just by thinking about my debt differently.

First step is to go onto What's The Cost.com Snowball Calculator and put in all your debts and APR's - just takes an hour or so to dig out your paperwork for the information, but it will be worth it. This will tell you which debts to tackle first, normally the high % ones (some people however, prefer to tackle the smallest debts first so they can see results quickly - whichever you choose is entirely up to you). Once you have this information, you can play around with the figures and see what a difference just making small payments can do to your totals. Very eye opening!

Then think about your debts in 1% terms. A debt of say, £1000 might seem insurmountable, but 1% is only £10 - far more bearable to swallow. The idea on the challenge is that you make all your usual minimum payments, but aim to make 1% overpayments. I also drew up a grid of 100 squares and each time I declared another 1% payment reduction, I coloured in a square.

How to find the money for this reduction? In my case my Next balance was £550 (1% = £5.50). Now most evenings me and OH would have a bottle of wine to share. Each night that we didn't have a bottle, I would log onto my Bank Account and send £5.50 to my Next Account. It really is that simple! Next time you buy a packet of £7 cigarettes, think about it in 1% terms and you'll feel motivated.

I hope this helps - good luck on your debt free journey.

Sorry for the long post, but I am passionate about the 1% challenge as it is really easy to do.

TMD xx