I've had enough....

Dee123_2

I'd wish you realised that people like you are an inspiration to me. You're doing so, so well. Someone mentioned navel gazing. You're looking at where you are but you set yourself well on the road to getting out of there when you had your lightbulb moment.

Those things that you mentioned "that others so readily have" - you never,ever know what goes on behind closed doors and I bet a lot of people would surprise you. You're honest with yourself and you care about your finances.

AND you have an engagement to look forward to, its about the committment, not the ring!

GirlRacer_2

Well I had the works, big expensive engagement ring, then we went somewhere exotic to get married, bought bigger house, bigger car, had one child then two, bigger house, bigger car, then 2 cars, then the !!!!!! left me for someone whose old enough to be my mother!!!

Result - Me with 2 children, one car, one house and a mass of debt (he kindly left me that as well).

Bank holidays are definitely the time to sit back and feel sorry for yourself.

Keep your chin up Mola your OH loves you dearly and your both doing the right thing by paying off your debts before you get married and start having babies (expensive hobby)!

Everything will come together for you and soon looking at your signature.

LookingAhead

Hello mol.

Not much I can add to the list of responses so I'll just offer you a big glass of virtual wine and a bit of Easter egg.

Kick your shoes off, enjoy it before we have to go back to stinkin' work tomorrow (that bit is just for me as that's how I feel about my job right now) then give your lovely man a big ol' snog and enjoy him with or without engagement ring.

If it's any consolation, I am 36, never been engaged before in my life and have pretty much given up on the thought of being married.....it always happens to someone else so, that means it will happen to you soon cos it won't be me! :rotfl:

smashedbooboo

Oh hun, i think everyone has said it all. All i can add is a huge hug, please dont be so hard on yourself when you have come this far. It is something to be proud of. And remember, Money cant buy you happines but it can buy you a misery that you well prefer. All the people with tons of money are not always in a loving relationship. Which you obviously are. What would you rather have. A loving stable marriage or one that you have to put up with. At least you will grow together and achieve your goals. That is something that so many folk dont get the chance to do. Just repeat to yourself. I am a special unique person. And you are. Dont lose sight of that hun. Big hugs again. xxxxxxxxxx

chickadee

Molanole wrote: »

I'm sick and tired of the fact that here I am earning a really good salary, working all the hours god sends (I don't get OT btw otherwise I'd be laughing) and yet I still can't afford to get married, buy a house and such things that others have so readily.

Hi, I just thought I'd add my thoughts. The stuff "others have so readily" is probably represented by thousands of pounds worth of debts as well! My XOH used to work for a credit checking agency and though it is seriously against the rules he put in our postcode and checked out our neighbours. Wow, the amounts they had on their credit cards was amazing! Don't compare yourself with anyone else, they may just be about to have their own LBM.

Well done on tackling your debts so far and on finding such a great man to be your hubby. He obviously loves you very much. For what it's worth, I never had an engagement ring either. Not a big deal for me. The hype is just created by jewellery retailers so you feel second best if you don't have the 'forever' or 'trilogy' or 'whatever it is at the moment' diamond. They are mined under virtual slave conditions anyway..... I wouldn't want to be part of that. Go for the Cubic Zirconia and a clean conscience in more than one way.

Snaggles

chickadee wrote: »

Hi, I just thought I'd add my thoughts. The stuff "others have so readily" is probably represented by thousands of pounds worth of debts as well!

That's so true. We look at our friends and family, who always seem to have a car that's a couple of years old, an LCD or plasma tv, foreign holidays, every new gadget/computer/playstation going, who are out at the pub/restaurant/nightclub every week, and we think 'how do you afford it?'. The truth is probably that they can't afford it, and are living in that bubble where you just keep on restructuring - that point just before you start being refused, or before you start struggling to meet the minimum repayments. Thank god we got out before we hit that point, because everyone does, sooner or later, if they don't have a lightbulb moment.

oops_a_daisy

Hi there molanole and big (((HUGS))) sorry you are feeling low right now and just to reiterate what everybody else has said - you have done brilliantly paying off so much debt in such a short time - well done
My two penneth worth is..... can you borrow a ring from a relative till you can afford to buy one in a few years time ? do you have a grandma/mum or your OH's family that would donate a 'vintage' ring for you ? just a thought but I dont know your family situation so it may not be a good idea ( certainly not if it was my family )

All the best and good luck - OOPS

TurnaroundSue

Hi Molanole - big hugs:grouphug:

Don't feel bad, I thought you weren't doing well with the debt thing when I first read your post, until I saw your signature that was.......WOW you have done amazingly. Keep your chin up, you have more than alot of people who have lots of money ..... a man who loves you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you. How many people who have money are unhappily married and would swap to be in your position?

Do you collect tesco clubcard vouchers, coz I was thinking if you really did want a nice ring you could save them up and use them in the goldsmith shop and it wouldn't cost you a penny...... or why not go onto freecycle? Yes I know you might laugh, but maybe there is someone out there who has a ring and doesn't want it anymore ...... my saying is 'if you don't ask, you don't get' - might be worth a try.

Anyway good luck and remember no amount of money can bring you the happiness of love

sammy115

southernscouser wrote: »

My advice.

Go out and spend loads of money! Use the credit card. Buy that engagement ring. Get married abroard. Brand new plasma. DVD recorder. New sports car.

YEAH!!!:j

Then how will you feel? More than 18 months of amazingly bloody hard work down the drain. Materialistic goods that are all superficial. A sports car that keeps breaking down and leaks when it rains.

:mad:

Well said, the voice of reason - as always!!!:rotfl:

ZTD

Choose Debt. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a credit score. Choose a credit limit. Choose the picture on your card.

Choose a family. Choose a !!!!!!! big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose an overdraft.

Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose interest only mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose minimum payments.

Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suite on hire purchase in a range of !!!!!!! fabrics. Choose a consolidation loan.

Choose a bigger television, faster cars and DVD players and more electrical tin openers. Choose another consolidation loan.

Choose when you get refused for a loan. Choose when you get demands for instant repayment. Choose defaults.

Choose constant phonecalls from 8am-11pm. Choose "agents" visiting your home while you're away and telling your neighbours. Choose the court for your CCJ. Choose the court for your bankruptcy. Choose the B&B your family will have to move into when you lose your home.


But no. You chose not to choose debt. You chose something else.


You chose peace-of-mind when the phone rings. You chose an easy feeling in your heart when opening the post. You chose to never be in the situation where you felt you'd be better off dead.

You chose to be debt-free.