Demoralised- what's the point?

minx1985

Hi all, am very fed up and just wondering if there's an alternative to the situation I'm in...

I currently owe £11300 to HSBC, paying £432.11 a month. Most of the debt was from my idiot ex overspending on my account (I gave him a cashcard) and me paying the bills on our rented house even when I was working away and having to pay rent elsewhere (he was working as well). We split up 2 years ago but I still have this noose around my neck. My debt was previously split across three creditors (including my mum) but after a falling out with her I managed to consolidate the debts in January so I could pay her off.

I've been grafting hard all year, paying approximately £200 per month extra so basically I'm paying out nearly 40% of my wage on clearing this debt. I'm getting to the stage though where I'm beyond fed up- no holiday for the next couple of years, my fella and I can't save anything towards getting married/buying a house, work treat me like poo even though I moved 60 miles away from home "to meet the needs of the business" (no relocation package, they wouldn't even pay for a man and a van when I have to carry a lot of stock around as I'm field based) and it's encroaching on my work life balance, which does matter as a lot of the day I'm on my own. I'm writing this sat at home, having to cancel for a hard-budgeted meal with friends because my boss has dumped a load of work for me to do in my own time for the next day- again.

Part of me feels guilty for moaning because at least I have a job and a company car, and if I'm disciplined I finish each month in the black- just. The assertive side of me though says I shouldn't put up with the c**p I'm getting from work, and I feel like a hamster on a wheel- getting nowhere fast despite my best efforts.

Need some support/advice- please help.

Betty_Crumble

chin up chuck, sometimes you just gotta wipe the poo off and carry on. It will get better, don't waste all that hard work by getting demoralised, what you are doing will make it all the more worthwhile in the long run because you will have worked so hard to make it all right.

I know work is pants when all the higher ups do is plop on you but they really only do it because they know a good worker when they see one, unfortunately it does interpret as them taking the pisticles but take heart, it could be worse. No roof over your head, hiding from debt collectors, doing nothing to help yourself. I think you ought to have a chat with your boss and come to a happy medium with regards to extra work or tell them that you will work to the letter from now on and that if you have plans then going forward do not break them for work. I wish you well and really you should give yourself a pat on the back, you are doing a great job. Pep talk over lol. Take care.

minx1985

Thanks Betty think I just needed to vent- still mad though! As for the workload, it's a difficult one- I'm a sales account manager so I have responsibility for one part of England and we are expected "to do whatever it takes" to secure the business. But as you quite rightly pointed out, I have a (nice) home, am not destitute and will be able to hold my head up high when my DFD arrives- December 2013. Just need to keep on truckin'- and say no more often!

Thank you xx

Dunree

Hi Minx,

I'm sure there is a European Directive that limits your workload/working hours.

Might be worth checking it out

Lady_Aga

Ironically, this stage of the game is often the hardest part. You have done a lot of groundwork, kept to budget, worked your a**e off and yet the light at the end of the tunnel still seems to be a long way off.

Time for a recap on what you have done and what still needs to be done. You are doing so well that it may be that you can loosen the reins a little or plan in a lovely treat. Something to look forward to. The dark mornings and crap weather don't help much either. You are nearly there!

Even pretend planning a sunshine break for a dreary February might lift your spirits. Even if it's not for another year.

The days go slowly but the years go quickly.

downsizer3

Well done for getting this far and like LadyAga said - this is the hard part. Lost the initial incentive and still a way to go.
But Dec 2013 is not that far away.
You're probably doing spreadsheets and stuff anyway - but when I feel I'm getting nowhere I look at them again to remind me how far I've come - look at the interest I'm not paying by hitting it as hard as I can etc. You will get there.
Coming on here to rant / blog /whatever, does help too - we all flag sometimes but its worth it in the end - and to start married life debt free has to be worth it.
Maybe worth putting your feelers out for another job too - nothing ventured and all that and your employer sounds like he'll never be satisfied...........

ReadingTim

You're doing very well on the debt free part - try and concentrate on that, as December 2013 isn't that far away - it'll be christmas before you know it, then summer, then you're back in the black.

But it's obviously hard to focus on that what with the cr*p you're getting from work. Sadly, that won't change much even when you are debt free - it'll still seem just as pointless.

Perhaps use this anger / energy to look for another job - and if that pays more, you'll be even closer to your deby free day?!?

nimbo

feel free to vent it's healthy to get it off your chest sometimes...

don't give up, you are so very close.

plan a February get away for the moment you get that 40% back - it's an awesome idea. and any little bit of luxury will feel so good and with that amount of freed up cash you can feel all smug knowing that it is all paid for as you do it, so no more getting back into debt.

it is horrid to not have a holiday for a while longer but when you get one it'll be much anticipated, and relished.

xxxxxxxxxxx

forgotmyname

You have to think there is always someone worse off than yourself.

My debts had slowly crept up, Overspending every now and then, Paying minimum + a decent amoutn each month slowly got to paying minimum + a bit on one card and not another. Then just minimum payments.

Before i had the lightbulb moment health issues suddenly appeared and then the S really hit the fan. Such a shock.

Luckily things improved and the CC companies thought they would get nothing and accepted reduced settlements.

Since my health improved several good friends have passed away or been diagnosed with serious health issues.

So i have to look on the bright side. There is always someone worse off than yourself.

If your looking at buying a house etc. I guess you cannot do what i did and offer them much less than they wanted or offer them a bankruptcy reference number.
I must have been convincing as the settlement prices dropped.

No idea what its done to my credit file though and dont really care. I dont want anymore debts.

Keep smiling.

PS.. Bit late this year. But next year buy a cheap tent and as soon as its sunny just go one weekend. Even if it rains you can have fun in a tent

minx1985

Thanks everyone for the moral support, it helps a lot. The Working Time Directive is a bit of a grey area- as I'm a field based rep I'm somewhere different every day so I cannot include a lot of the travelling time in that 48 hour period, which is daft- I quite often do a 12-hour day... Maybe I should start taking Mondays off to cut my hours and look for a new job! :rotfl

I shall keep plugging away, it could indeed be a lot worse, that DFD will not only be a huge financial release but it'll mean I can finally let go of the past... Then it's holiday time! Although I may have to do a caravan hol rather than camping- got conjunctivitis last time I stayed in a tent! Bleurgh.

Thanks again for the support and let's stay frugal! xx

HeatherintheHills

Make sure you boss realises that dumping work on you cost you a rare night out you had been really looking forward to. They will give it as long as you take it, and I know it is so hard to say no with so many people looking for jobs.

But your boss might wake up and remember that you will find it much easier to find another job as you are in one. If he values you and has half a brain cell, he will sit up and take notice if you object every now and again.

As others have said, you are doing great, keep going