'Anti' hoarding?

VeggieCatLady

Hello everyone. The name of this thread doesn't quite explain what I mean. There are threads about hoarding but I can't see any recent ones about how I approach and feel about possessions and 'stuff'. I feel the need to regularly clear out cupboards and sort through my things. I will then donate items I do not feel I need any longer to charity. This process also means I end up with nice tidy cupboards etc afterwards. I find doing this very rewarding and I feel good afterwards - like I have really achieved something. But if I have a cupboard that I haven't cleared out for a while, it starts to play on my mind. Also, if I feel I have to many of something I get an awful feeling which is close to feeling guilty for having the items or greedy. An am not talking about having loads of the same item and thinking I have too many, I mean it can be as few as two. The feeling can be quite strong and make me feel a bit nauseous. I would get the same feeling if I had bought something that I did not actually need (though I very rarely do this). For me, every item has to have a purpose. I'm not sure where this stems from, but I know that in my early teens I went from being not particularly tidy and having my parents reminding me to clean and tidy my room, to having a spotless bedroom and actually going round the rest of the house and sorting out my parents' possessions. I remember sitting with them with piles of papers and bits of bobs and going through these items with them one by one. Once again I would have the same satisfied feeling afterwards. Anyway, I could go on for ever, but enough about me! Has anyone else experienced this?

Thanks for reading x

Ches

Yes I have up to a point. I have always been tidy so thats never been an issue here. What I have a problem with is because I am OS I feel guilty that I have so much more than former generations. (I hope that makes sense). When I was a child it was normal to have just 1 'best' outfit. Now I have enough good clothes to last a couple of weeks at least. Yes they may be all clean, pressed and hung up tidily but do I really 'need' them. I am not a hoarder but do I need to have enough wool to make the next 3 jumper/cardigans? But its difficult because I don't have anything cruddy to throw away, its all good stuff thats used but I feel guilty that I have bought it before its been actually needed. The same indoors. I have tidy rooms but I do like some ornaments and craft stuff then it all gets a bit too much and everything goes and then it looks too bare so I buy more. Wish I could make up my mind.

claretsgirl

Oh, thank goodness, YES! This is just like me. You cant beat a good clear out, it's good for the soul. Lol. I have very few posessions compared to most people I know and that's how I like it. I am really quite ordered and could tell you what is in any of my cupboards (not much). I find it makes life a lot more simple and cleaning takes a lot less time. A lot of people find it a little weird though.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Hope you don't mind me popping over from the hoarding thread I didn't expect that thread to take off the way it has.


Yes, me.

But that's probably due to the issues from growing up with a hoarder parent with an aversion to cleaning and a penchant for abusing the small and defenceless.

Anything that looks a little excessive makes me worry I'm going to turn into Her - in all ways - and so I can just about manage to have two boxes of soap powder on special offer, two bottles of washing up liquid, that kind of thing. As long as I can put them away somewhere - I nearly went into meltdown when I brought the soap powder home and it looked like it was too big to fit in the cupboard, until I realised I could cut the top down and it would fit, and I was OK again.

But even so, the thought of there being more than one thing can still stress me out. And anywhere that has a lot going on - noise, pattern, stuff - feels like it's suffocating me and I can't tolerate it.

I redecorated the bathroom recently, and find it really hard to allow the extra things to go in there - I'm even resisting buying a bathroom cabinet as it would clutter up the wall and encourage more stuff to be stored, for goodness' sake.


So I try and go along with things, but eventually I snap and just start clearing stuff out.


But at the same time, I want to have nice stuff. So I spend a lot of time agonising over whether something belongs/should be bought or whether it's the first strike of the hoarding gene.




I figured that my liking clearing things out is akin to purging all the shadows where my personal hang ups, traumas and demons hide - without 'stuff' to distract from them, they can't hide and fester, so clearing has a cathartic effect, it gets rid of the negative feelings and associations that I have somehow attached to them.


So you aren't the only one who dislikes it intensely

Softstuff

I'm one of those! So is my hubby to some extent. Though his anti-hoarding comes as a small side effect of his liking being tidy, whereas mine is more ingrained.

I'd once returned a library book, but it hadn't been scanned in and taken off my account. When I called to sort this they suggested I might have misplaced it at home.... there's no chance of misplacing anything here, down to a paperclip! We live in a small 1 bed unit and I could tell you to the item what is in each drawer. Though reading this thread does make me want to go through every last one of them again.

There are a number of reasons I'm like this: living in a small unit is only pleasant if you don't have much stuff, cleaning is easier when you're not cleaning around things, over here mould is an issue so that stops you from hanging onto old stuff and makes you carefully look after stuff you do want to keep, mum likes "stuff" to an extent that it makes her life harder not easier so I've shied away from that.

I've only been at a disadvantage once thanks to my anti-hoarding. I got rid of a can opener I couldn't use prior to buying a new one, unfortunately in the interim hubby wanted a tuna sandwich. He hasn't let me live that one down though, so I'm a bit more careful now.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Softstuff wrote: »

I'm one of those! So is my hubby to some extent. Though his anti-hoarding comes as a small side effect of his liking being tidy, whereas mine is more ingrained.

I'd once returned a library book, but it hadn't been scanned in and taken off my account. When I called to sort this they suggested I might have misplaced it at home.... there's no chance of misplacing anything here, down to a paperclip! We live in a small 1 bed unit and I could tell you to the item what is in each drawer. Though reading this thread does make me want to go through every last one of them again.

There are a number of reasons I'm like this: living in a small unit is only pleasant if you don't have much stuff, cleaning is easier when you're not cleaning around things, over here mould is an issue so that stops you from hanging onto old stuff and makes you carefully look after stuff you do want to keep, mum likes "stuff" to an extent that it makes her life harder not easier so I've shied away from that.

I've only been at a disadvantage once thanks to my anti-hoarding. I got rid of a can opener I couldn't use prior to buying a new one, unfortunately in the interim hubby wanted a tuna sandwich. He hasn't let me live that one down though, so I'm a bit more careful now.

You wouldn't need one if he'd thought to buy tuna with ring pulls.... :whistle:

Softstuff

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

You wouldn't need one if he'd thought to buy tuna with ring pulls.... :whistle:

:rotfl:

Unfortunately the "smartbuy" tuna here, which is the cheapest (and oddly enough dolphin friendly), doesn't come with one. Nor does the smartbuy sweetcorn or tomatoes. And I do the shopping, so am to blame on both counts!

VeggieCatLady

Thank you all for replying. I thought it was just me for a while there

Ches wrote: »

I have tidy rooms but I do like some ornaments and craft stuff then it all gets a bit too much and everything goes and then it looks too bare so I buy more. Wish I could make up my mind.

I think the odd ornament is probably the only exception to my way of thinking. I do like my house to look nice and the odd decorative item looks good to me. It all has to match the room though. I have colour themes for each room you see.

Softstuff wrote: »

We live in a small 1 bed unit and I could tell you to the item what is in each drawer.

Claretsgirl wrote: »

I am really quite ordered and could tell you what is in any of my cupboards (not much). A lot of people find it a little weird though.

Yes! I was going to write this in my original post! I am exactly the same. I know where literally every item I own is. I could tell you exactly what is in each cupboard and drawer. If for some reason I don't know where something is (say if someone has moved it) I get quite confused! I agree that some people do find it weird! It's just normal to me though.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

I figured that my liking clearing things out is akin to purging all the shadows where my personal hang ups, traumas and demons hide - without 'stuff' to distract from them, they can't hide and fester, so clearing has a cathartic effect, it gets rid of the negative feelings and associations that I have somehow attached to them.

Hello Jojo. I have read a lot of your other thread and found it fascinating and so honest. You really have helped others open up and share their experiences. Although perhaps for different reasons, I also feel that clearing out helps me deal with any negative emotions. Somehow the methodical process of keeping things that are needed and getting rid of things that aren't helps me clear my head.

themull1

If i watch a programme about hoarders, i have to go and tidy one of my cupboards! my parents keep stuff - receipts etc for years, me and my brother went the other way, and chuck a lot of stuff out/give to charity.

If i take a bag of stuff for my mam to give to the CPL, she goes through it first and i feel like i have to justify why i'm getting rid of something!

Softstuff

VeggieCatLady wrote: »

Yes! I was going to write this in my original post! I am exactly the same. I know where literally every item I own is. I could tell you exactly what is in each cupboard and drawer. If for some reason I don't know where something is (say if someone has moved it) I get quite confused! I agree that some people do find it weird! It's just normal to me though.

My Grandad used to say "a place for everything and everything in its place" so I guess that stuck. It'd drive me mad if I had to hunt for things in my own home or even worse if I couldn't find something. Hubby is a chap after my own heart, sometimes moreso. We live very harmoniously as a result, I dread to think how I'd feel married to an untidy man.

This thread has given me the urge to go through everything again to make sure there's nothing we don't need. Think that's what I'll be doing next week now!

VeggieCatLady

themull1 wrote: »

If i watch a programme about hoarders, i have to go and tidy one of my cupboards! my parents keep stuff - receipts etc for years, me and my brother went the other way, and chuck a lot of stuff out/give to charity.

If i take a bag of stuff for my mam to give to the CPL, she goes through it first and i feel like i have to justify why i'm getting rid of something!

So do I! I was watching a programme about hoarders yesterday evening and found myself sorting through two kitchen cupboards afterwards! I love it though. I feel so relaxed after it's done.

I have found on the odd occasion when I have gotten a bag together to take to a local CS that friends will want to know why I am getting rid of things. I just reply that I don't need them and by donating them I am supporting a charity.